News4 mins ago
Embarrassment In Church
5 Answers
An elderly lady went into confession.
Father I have a confession to make
What is it
I farted four times during silent prayer. Im feeling so embarrassed. "Im so glad they were only, very quite ones Father"
Do you think the Lord will forgive me ?
"When was the last time you changed your hearing aid Batteries" replies the priest.
Father I have a confession to make
What is it
I farted four times during silent prayer. Im feeling so embarrassed. "Im so glad they were only, very quite ones Father"
Do you think the Lord will forgive me ?
"When was the last time you changed your hearing aid Batteries" replies the priest.
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My mum had a real problem with wind. She passed it on to all of us. They say its hereditary. Its all in the Jeans apparently.
When we were young Mum used to mention a famous comedian a lot. I Be sat on the podium, Mum would shout "Don't strain Or your end up with teeth like Ken Dodd"
If farting was an Olympic sport and mum had been in it. Our house would have been full of Medals. (not sure what colour)
Remember when people would queue in Green grocer shops for their potatoes. I remember in the greengrocers there was a queue of around ten people she drop one. Cleared the shop. Me and mum were now front of the queue. No one to serve us. The proprietor had had to go out the back to recompose himself. (Ever tried Recomposing yourself) I went to see where he was, he had tears in his eyes. Thought he been crying. The tears were from laughter. He was talking to a lady and every so often he pause and blow a Raspberry, then they' burst out laughing. I Guess they were laughing at my mum.
Problem plagued her to old age she contracted irritable Bowel syndrome had to carry round a clean pair of britches . Which made the problem worse for her. Last thing you need with wind is irritable Bowel syndrome. She had to make some very important decisions then before she let one fly so to speak.
The older you get, It seems the less you care. It really showed. She was famous with her anomaly. What impressed me and I am a very easy person to impress At least what she did, she did it well. They were quality. You could tell. When people used newspapers to fan away the smell with two hands. I always take as a sign of quality. they were always high scoring easily 8 out of Tens. Even the man at Bingo gave her a 9 once (would have like to have heard that one myself)
Good old mum. She gone now. But bet she giving them some big smiles where ever she gone. She never found it Funny. It was just something she always done.
When I see photos of her I Think of all that entertainment she unknowingly provided. Mainly for me I might add.
My Dad was indifferent to it never mention it. Only ever once when Mum farted in the Bath and the bathroom was above the kitchen. me and dad were sitting in the kitchen having a cup of tea. He said there goes your mother
When we were young Mum used to mention a famous comedian a lot. I Be sat on the podium, Mum would shout "Don't strain Or your end up with teeth like Ken Dodd"
If farting was an Olympic sport and mum had been in it. Our house would have been full of Medals. (not sure what colour)
Remember when people would queue in Green grocer shops for their potatoes. I remember in the greengrocers there was a queue of around ten people she drop one. Cleared the shop. Me and mum were now front of the queue. No one to serve us. The proprietor had had to go out the back to recompose himself. (Ever tried Recomposing yourself) I went to see where he was, he had tears in his eyes. Thought he been crying. The tears were from laughter. He was talking to a lady and every so often he pause and blow a Raspberry, then they' burst out laughing. I Guess they were laughing at my mum.
Problem plagued her to old age she contracted irritable Bowel syndrome had to carry round a clean pair of britches . Which made the problem worse for her. Last thing you need with wind is irritable Bowel syndrome. She had to make some very important decisions then before she let one fly so to speak.
The older you get, It seems the less you care. It really showed. She was famous with her anomaly. What impressed me and I am a very easy person to impress At least what she did, she did it well. They were quality. You could tell. When people used newspapers to fan away the smell with two hands. I always take as a sign of quality. they were always high scoring easily 8 out of Tens. Even the man at Bingo gave her a 9 once (would have like to have heard that one myself)
Good old mum. She gone now. But bet she giving them some big smiles where ever she gone. She never found it Funny. It was just something she always done.
When I see photos of her I Think of all that entertainment she unknowingly provided. Mainly for me I might add.
My Dad was indifferent to it never mention it. Only ever once when Mum farted in the Bath and the bathroom was above the kitchen. me and dad were sitting in the kitchen having a cup of tea. He said there goes your mother
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