Nasty Roommate

[Heretoaskandansw]

Long story short. I'm 22-year-old woman living with my 23-year-old roommate in a double room. I've been living in hostels and dorms since I was 18 and I know ignoring your roommate is the best option when you can't get along with them. My roommate on the other hand is a simple girl who's never been away from her family. I suffer from seasonal depression which means during winter getting out of my bed is considered a huge achievement. I'm untidy but considerate of my personal hygiene. She's apparently very organised but her body odour is unbearable. I've never told her that. Due to a lack of central heating we don't open the window and the room smells of sweat. She used to turn on the lights at 7 AM when I was still sleeping. I told her not to do that. And she yelled at me and told me to stop being cracky about it. I told her to shut up. We stopped talking like 5-year-olds. Ever since this happened she started humiliating me. Whenever a new girl comes to visit the room for March when we'll both move out, she tells the girl that she can have her bed, because mine is disorganised. She once even had a video call with a girl to show her our room and for a second the girl on the video call saw me sitting on my bed and studying. My roommate told her:"Oh! This is my roommate! Just ignore her!". Well I didn't say anything. She also talks behind my back a lot and the landlord blames me for every minor thing that happens in our room. She never complains about me into my face but later I figure out that she's been talking behind my back. She's also very dependent on others to go shopping with her or do the groceries with her, because she's always done these things with her sister. I told her once that I can hang out with her but later I cancelled it because it was very cold outside. Then she got upset. She's a very religious Muslim and I'm an atheist who has a bottle of gin in my closet and I paint nude figures. She once saw me at the university. I wanted to say hi, but she pretended that she didn't see me. Anyways, any tips on how to cope with a nasty mean roommate?

[douglas9401]

I'd start with paragraphs and see where it leads.

[calmck]

Move

[Atheist]

Answer... I think you need to grow up and choose your friends with a bit more taste. She might think you smell. Get out of the situation and start living your own life.

[Captain2]

'...to visit the room for March when we'll both move out'.


Just hold your breath till then; it's not far away.

[Heretoaskandansw]

Atheist/ I didn't choose her as a friend. I was living my life in my room when she came. It's hard to find another accommodation in a city full of students. I'm about to leave by March, but that's not %100 sure. I found a job miles away from the university and now I'm doing the required paperwork for it. She might think I smell? Maybe you didn't read the text carefully. And you have a right not to. Since it's too long. I said I'm disorganised but very considerate of my personal hygiene. She on the other hand is organised but her body odour is unbearable. And yeah. I'm a grown-up woman stuck with a person I'm bound to live with. By the way I answered your question on my other post about my painting.

[Atheist]

Hereto... I do remember I answered your painting post. I'm not suggesting that you do smell, but it's possible that you do, whatever your personal hygiene regime. I think I'm really saying that you are being judgmental about another and not interested in her outlook. It seems to me that you don't get on, and so you should try to change your situation. I can't tell you how; just do something about it. Sorry I can't be more helpful. I was your age many years ago, and I just had to muddle through without getting advice from a glorified typewriter. What would you do if you had to walk down the road looking for a phone box, waiting outside until some idiot had finished shoving coins in so that they could continue haranguing or pleading with their interlocutor?
You're a big girl now, and you can get through this. Best wishes. :-)

[poorclare]

Have you ever stopped to think that perhaps the lady is
in poor health, sadly this can cause BO and nothing to do
with hygiene.
Perhaps you would be better living on your own in outer
Mongolia

[Heretoaskandansw]

Atheist/ Yeah. You asked me if I want to continue the story of my painting and I answered that question. Well, I guess young people in your generation were stronger. I'm not saying that I need your advice or something. That's not your duty to give me advice. But believe me, as someone having mild OCD it's quite offensive to hear that someone might think that I smell. Anyways, let's just hope I'll get the job and move out.

[Captain2]

From your last 'need advice' post (27/1/23)...

'...I'm so lazy I can't get out of bed and everything I do is watching stupid sitcoms for hours.'
and
'I dread to get out of bed and change my clothes. I can lock myself indoors for weeks.'

Puts a bit of a different slant on things.

[Heretoaskandansw]

Captain2/ Yes, that's true. And I'm still struggling. That's undeniable. I also mentioned this problem in this current post. By "changing my clothes" I meant that I can't change my clothes to go outside and do the groceries or go to the university. But I do take a shower and every day and wear something clean unlike my roommate who takes a shower only twice a week.

[Tilly2]

If she showers twice a week, she does not smell, surely.

[poorclare]

Sorry but do you have health problems? the reason I ask
IS you say you are 22 years of age.

I am not in the best of health (I am 78 years old) and am
get up at 6am to go and get my paper/magazine and breakfast.
Must admit I go to bed early ~~~ like now 20.40

Good night and good luck

[lankeela]

Not sure you understand the meaning of long story short.

[Tilly2]

Goodnight and God bless, Claire.

[Heretoaskandansw]

Poorclare/ I have seasonal depression. My roommate is extremely healthy. Not everybody has to be in poor health to suffer from certain circumstances. And I have insomnia. Can't sleep at night.