Alzheimers

[jules77]

My mother has had Alzheimers, and has been through the varying stages of it for the last 15 years or so. She is now totally incontinent, cant feed herself, doesnt speak, nor does she recognise anyone. She eats reasonably well, although sometimes tends to keep the food in her mouth for some time and we have to remind her to swallow it. However, she can stand, although sometimes is a little wobbly, and can walk if you direct her in the right way, although this can sometimes be quite slow. I watched a programme last night about a man with Alzheimers, and 15 years into the disease he was completely wasting away. Looking at the internet they say the average life expectancy is 10 years, does anyone else have any experience or knowledge. My mother is still living at home with my father, and although she is difficult to dress as she fights against you and will not lift her arms up, is not a lot of trouble to be honest.

[pinkkitty]

Jules, I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. My Grandad had Alzheimers, and though it pained us, we had to put him in a care home towards the end of his illness, because we just didn't have the facilities to care for him ourselves. From when my Nana first started to realise there was something wrong with him, to when he passed away was about 12 years or so. for the last 2 years he was in the home. but by that time he was incapable of even speaking and had no idea what was going on around him. When he died, though i feel terrible to say it, it was almost like a relief.

I lost my mum 4 years ago to Cancer, and i know how terrible it is to watch someone you love wasting away.

My thoughts are with you and yor family

[saxy_jag]

My granddad had it, but he became quite aggressive and ended his life in the elderly ward of a mental hospital, although I have to say, he was very well cared for there and the staff were mindful of his dignity at all times. For an NHS hospital, that's saying something.

He had been a very intelligent, independant and upstanding man, and it was hard to see him going downhill towards the end of his life. Saying that, there was no way we could have cared for him at home, plus we know that's not what he would have wanted. He'd not have wanted to be thought of by his family as in need of care.

As long as your father is coping, then him having your mother at home is probably the best thing for her - familiarity and all that. If things deteriorate, then there is help and support available for all of you. Make the most of whatever you're offered.

[jules77]

Thanks, she really deteriorated when they sectioned her around 7 years ago, prior to that she was forgetful and had aggressive mood swings. She has been in respite once for two weeks when dad was supposed to be visiting my son at University in America, but he pulled out at the last minute and spent most of the day in the care home with her, so it was almost a waste of time her being there. He has carers in 6 days a week, but only during the day for 4/5 hours, so he does get help, and they now live in a bungalow down the bottom of my garden so I am close at hand should he need me. Bit of a pain though at times, as I feel tied down, and I know Mom wouldnt have wanted me to be as she always said 'put me away if I get like that'. never mind.........dad wants her at home with him, so we just plod on.