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Building strength back up after being ill.
15 Answers
Hi all! I need some advice on helping my husband build his strength back up again.
He has spent most of Oct in hospital or at home ill some to do with his kidney (he's a renal transplant paitent) and now they discovered he has an infection in the pericardiual sac (lining around the heart) stemming from a sickness and diahorrea bug he had this month, so has just spent a week in the CCU.
They also think he may have narrowing of the arteries (because of years being on certain tablets) and he is going to have an angiogram but that's a whole other issue.
He is finding it very frustrating trying to build his strength back up and is getting sick and tired of having to have a lie down just because he has climbed the stairs.
His mental health is very fragile as it is and we are still waiting on an appt. with a councillor who specialises with people who have had transplants and have experienced the feelings he has been having, I fear this is only making it all worse.
Is this just a case of it will take a while for his strength to build back up because of the infection around the heart or are there any foods etc. he can have, or should be eating, that will speed it up or at least help him feel a bit more positive and feel like he has a bit more energy?
I am asking this out of desperation for him as he really does just want to give up but I can't let him. I don't know what to say or do anymore and am so run down I just feel helpless for him.
He has spent most of Oct in hospital or at home ill some to do with his kidney (he's a renal transplant paitent) and now they discovered he has an infection in the pericardiual sac (lining around the heart) stemming from a sickness and diahorrea bug he had this month, so has just spent a week in the CCU.
They also think he may have narrowing of the arteries (because of years being on certain tablets) and he is going to have an angiogram but that's a whole other issue.
He is finding it very frustrating trying to build his strength back up and is getting sick and tired of having to have a lie down just because he has climbed the stairs.
His mental health is very fragile as it is and we are still waiting on an appt. with a councillor who specialises with people who have had transplants and have experienced the feelings he has been having, I fear this is only making it all worse.
Is this just a case of it will take a while for his strength to build back up because of the infection around the heart or are there any foods etc. he can have, or should be eating, that will speed it up or at least help him feel a bit more positive and feel like he has a bit more energy?
I am asking this out of desperation for him as he really does just want to give up but I can't let him. I don't know what to say or do anymore and am so run down I just feel helpless for him.
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I have the greatest compassion for both of you. At present I�m not certain it would be wise for any of us to make recommendations as they �could� possibly counteract with other medications or treatments. However, I�m certainly comfortable in offering you a thought or two that you might ask about.
First is a vitamin, available either by tablet or effervescents called Berocca. This is used often with people suffering from M.E. or iron deficiencies. It�s also used by airline cabin crew as a quick pick-me-up for when they�ve flown half-way around the world and are desperate for a few hours more energy to get them home. However, as your husband has been a participant as a kidney recipient, again, I feel it�s advisable to first consult your physician as many vitamins process through the kidney and may not be best for his recovery.
The other items are the traditional �top up� drinks and soups that are generally high-caloric and vitamin infused.
As we are not physicians, it could be dangerous for any of us to make specific suggestions that you might apply with immediacy. However, certainly do speak with your GP about these possibilities.
What I will say is one of the greatest boosts to your hubby is the kind, loving, nurturing you provide in being there for him, encouraging and loving. There are few greater medicines in the world than love!
I wish you well
Fr Bill
First is a vitamin, available either by tablet or effervescents called Berocca. This is used often with people suffering from M.E. or iron deficiencies. It�s also used by airline cabin crew as a quick pick-me-up for when they�ve flown half-way around the world and are desperate for a few hours more energy to get them home. However, as your husband has been a participant as a kidney recipient, again, I feel it�s advisable to first consult your physician as many vitamins process through the kidney and may not be best for his recovery.
The other items are the traditional �top up� drinks and soups that are generally high-caloric and vitamin infused.
As we are not physicians, it could be dangerous for any of us to make specific suggestions that you might apply with immediacy. However, certainly do speak with your GP about these possibilities.
What I will say is one of the greatest boosts to your hubby is the kind, loving, nurturing you provide in being there for him, encouraging and loving. There are few greater medicines in the world than love!
I wish you well
Fr Bill
Hi Fr Bill :o)
Thank you for your kind words :o)
You are totally right with everything you say and we would always consult his Doctor before taking any vits or top up's. I am just finding it hard going trying to keep him positive when he has always been the strong one and now feels like this is the end as he has basically been ill all his life and wants to give up.
With his current thinking he won't take anymore tablets as he says he takes enough and I can understand why he feels like that.
It will all take time I know, it is just so frustrating seeing him so tired and frustrated himself and his biggest problem is he just wants to be up and doing things but physically can't.
Do you know if eating certain foods would help him? I have him some steak for tea and thought about liver and kidney but understandabley he doesn't like that!!
Thank you again Fr Bill, I try to give him all my love but am worried that one day it isn't going to be enough to make him want to carry on.
Thank you for your kind words :o)
You are totally right with everything you say and we would always consult his Doctor before taking any vits or top up's. I am just finding it hard going trying to keep him positive when he has always been the strong one and now feels like this is the end as he has basically been ill all his life and wants to give up.
With his current thinking he won't take anymore tablets as he says he takes enough and I can understand why he feels like that.
It will all take time I know, it is just so frustrating seeing him so tired and frustrated himself and his biggest problem is he just wants to be up and doing things but physically can't.
Do you know if eating certain foods would help him? I have him some steak for tea and thought about liver and kidney but understandabley he doesn't like that!!
Thank you again Fr Bill, I try to give him all my love but am worried that one day it isn't going to be enough to make him want to carry on.
Wing, I feel the greatest gift you can offer your husband is precisely what you�re doing now.
Well done regarding the steak, liver, etc. From a natural perspective, Spinach and kale provide the greatest amounts of natural iron. Kiwi fruit provides the greatest vitamin C and doesn�t have the acidic challenge you could face from say�orange or grapefruit juice.
I have fought a kidney problem for many years. One of the things I�ve used, with my doctor�s blessings and encouragement is cranberry juice. However, interestingly, in my work in Moldova and Romania, I was introduced to drinking Rose Hips as a compote. It seems to have an amazing effect on my kidneys and it provides an interesting surge of energy. I �think� the two berries (cranberry and Rose Hips) may be of the same family group.
I�ll have to be honest with you, I can only �guess� that you can buy Rose Hips at a health food store. I bring back large zip bags of them from Moldova, which have been given to me as gifts. I can only describe them as similar to having a weak Ribena with minimal sweetness. Nevertheless, I love the stuff!
I might also suggest that with a beautiful day like today, some natural Vitamin D from the sun may be beneficial in perking hubby up a bit. These transitional periods where we�ve lost sunlight have a tendency to make people feel sluggish and down. See if he will go outdoors for a bit, or perhaps sit in the conservatory.
But as I say; the best medicine is a loving pair of arms!
I wish you well
Fr Bill
Well done regarding the steak, liver, etc. From a natural perspective, Spinach and kale provide the greatest amounts of natural iron. Kiwi fruit provides the greatest vitamin C and doesn�t have the acidic challenge you could face from say�orange or grapefruit juice.
I have fought a kidney problem for many years. One of the things I�ve used, with my doctor�s blessings and encouragement is cranberry juice. However, interestingly, in my work in Moldova and Romania, I was introduced to drinking Rose Hips as a compote. It seems to have an amazing effect on my kidneys and it provides an interesting surge of energy. I �think� the two berries (cranberry and Rose Hips) may be of the same family group.
I�ll have to be honest with you, I can only �guess� that you can buy Rose Hips at a health food store. I bring back large zip bags of them from Moldova, which have been given to me as gifts. I can only describe them as similar to having a weak Ribena with minimal sweetness. Nevertheless, I love the stuff!
I might also suggest that with a beautiful day like today, some natural Vitamin D from the sun may be beneficial in perking hubby up a bit. These transitional periods where we�ve lost sunlight have a tendency to make people feel sluggish and down. See if he will go outdoors for a bit, or perhaps sit in the conservatory.
But as I say; the best medicine is a loving pair of arms!
I wish you well
Fr Bill
Thank you Fr Bill :o)
We will look into the cranberry and rosehip and you may have been an even bigger help as you say it tastes like weak ribena, well that is one thing he isn't allowed (blackcurrent) as it affects the tablets, that and grapefruit. Of course because he isn't allowed it he craves it more so if his Doctors say he can have it and I can get some from our local health food shop then you have given him back something he has missed greatly.
We are going to for a little walk later in the sunshine once he has had a rest and then maybe a potter in the garden :o)
Thank you once again Fr Bill :o)
We will look into the cranberry and rosehip and you may have been an even bigger help as you say it tastes like weak ribena, well that is one thing he isn't allowed (blackcurrent) as it affects the tablets, that and grapefruit. Of course because he isn't allowed it he craves it more so if his Doctors say he can have it and I can get some from our local health food shop then you have given him back something he has missed greatly.
We are going to for a little walk later in the sunshine once he has had a rest and then maybe a potter in the garden :o)
Thank you once again Fr Bill :o)
I can't beat the advice that Village Vicar has given regarding food (especially liver and spinach) I think your husband is certainly very frustrated simply because his mind is willing/wants to do and his body right now is not. He needs to aim lower and with encouragement know that 6 stairs that were exhausting last week are now eight stairs this week and he needs to accept that it takes time for the body to heal and although mentally he is fine he has to allow for his body to heal in its own good time.
Talking liver - if your husband used to eat it, how did you cook it? Did you cook it like a casserole in gravy or did you fry it? Point being that I appreciate you need to avoid fried foods but the taste is so different between casserole and fried liver.
I think you need to get back to the doctor because he/she can get a dietician involved who can say the best foods to cook (taking into consideration the transplant and possible narrowing of arteries) and the right food intake will mean no additional tablets, and a pint of Guinness every week is good too as it is rich in iron.
Talking liver - if your husband used to eat it, how did you cook it? Did you cook it like a casserole in gravy or did you fry it? Point being that I appreciate you need to avoid fried foods but the taste is so different between casserole and fried liver.
I think you need to get back to the doctor because he/she can get a dietician involved who can say the best foods to cook (taking into consideration the transplant and possible narrowing of arteries) and the right food intake will mean no additional tablets, and a pint of Guinness every week is good too as it is rich in iron.
Hi O'reilly :o)
Thank you for your reply. You are very right about aiming low to begin with and building up from there, his problem is that he thinks he has to keep going like he used to otherwise it will get him, but he simply just can't at the moment and he is finding it hard to accept. He is due back at clinic next Weds and will certainly be asking them about a dietician. He was actually starting to become more positive earlier in the month after he left hospital then he was hit by this sickness bug and it has just gone down hill from there, the last thing he needed was to be told there could now be a problem with his heart.
Hopefully by taking things one day at a time he will gradually start to improve and see results himself he just needs to stop being so impaitent & realise that rest means rest!!
Hi B00!!!
Thank you also for your lovely kind words, I told Mr Wingnut what you said and he said "Ahhh, tell B00 I said Thanx" made him smile too :o)
Thank you for your reply. You are very right about aiming low to begin with and building up from there, his problem is that he thinks he has to keep going like he used to otherwise it will get him, but he simply just can't at the moment and he is finding it hard to accept. He is due back at clinic next Weds and will certainly be asking them about a dietician. He was actually starting to become more positive earlier in the month after he left hospital then he was hit by this sickness bug and it has just gone down hill from there, the last thing he needed was to be told there could now be a problem with his heart.
Hopefully by taking things one day at a time he will gradually start to improve and see results himself he just needs to stop being so impaitent & realise that rest means rest!!
Hi B00!!!
Thank you also for your lovely kind words, I told Mr Wingnut what you said and he said "Ahhh, tell B00 I said Thanx" made him smile too :o)
Hi wingy :D
Depression is so debilitating with illness. It's frustration and it's mourning how you used to be. You'd give anything for a break from it but the vicious circle carries on.
There is a saying I was always told during my care work.
You walk in their shadow not in their shoes.
I'm watching mr B and there are times when I think he'd be better off without me and I'd be better off without me too. But that's another story.
The thought process is so complicated for both of you that maybe both of you could go to that councellor eh? a middle man/woman that can just be the wall you need to talk to.
Save a little bit for yourself Wingy.
Please.
Sending You A Big Big Smile :D and Love.
B. xxx
Depression is so debilitating with illness. It's frustration and it's mourning how you used to be. You'd give anything for a break from it but the vicious circle carries on.
There is a saying I was always told during my care work.
You walk in their shadow not in their shoes.
I'm watching mr B and there are times when I think he'd be better off without me and I'd be better off without me too. But that's another story.
The thought process is so complicated for both of you that maybe both of you could go to that councellor eh? a middle man/woman that can just be the wall you need to talk to.
Save a little bit for yourself Wingy.
Please.
Sending You A Big Big Smile :D and Love.
B. xxx
Hi berylium :o)
Thank you for your kind words :o)
I am glad, if not amazed (and relieved) he agreed to see the councillor as he always said he never would (but then he has never really felt this way before, certainly not this bad) but he says as she is a specialist one to do with transplants he feels that she maybe able to help him.
He sees there's no end to all this and that there is always going to be another health problem for him to cope with and that he wants to give up. I can see why he feels this way but can't watch him die or even let him, but I don't want him to suffer either and feel he is because of me and our 2 girls.
I thought about going along when he has councilling too if I am allowed, or if he wants me there, so I can gain a better understanding of what he is thinking. Maybe it will help me understand better and be able to say the right things when he is feeling low.
I wish you all the best too Berylium, the mind is a strange thing, I feel I know quite abit about kidney transplants and all that goes with it, even other bits medically etc but this is all new territory and it is scary.
Thank you for your kind words :o)
I am glad, if not amazed (and relieved) he agreed to see the councillor as he always said he never would (but then he has never really felt this way before, certainly not this bad) but he says as she is a specialist one to do with transplants he feels that she maybe able to help him.
He sees there's no end to all this and that there is always going to be another health problem for him to cope with and that he wants to give up. I can see why he feels this way but can't watch him die or even let him, but I don't want him to suffer either and feel he is because of me and our 2 girls.
I thought about going along when he has councilling too if I am allowed, or if he wants me there, so I can gain a better understanding of what he is thinking. Maybe it will help me understand better and be able to say the right things when he is feeling low.
I wish you all the best too Berylium, the mind is a strange thing, I feel I know quite abit about kidney transplants and all that goes with it, even other bits medically etc but this is all new territory and it is scary.
hehe :) B'll do lol ;)
See how mr Wingnut does.... he may just come back and tell you and the kids (if they're feeling it too) how it went, what was said and how they got on.
Something to talk about innit?
and you? is there a transplant partners group? who just meet up for support to each other? recipe swaps? best stout to drink lol
and, yep....funny how we all become 'experts' in our own fields of health....
Knowledge is power :)
Wingy, Take Care and thank you too :D
B. xxx
See how mr Wingnut does.... he may just come back and tell you and the kids (if they're feeling it too) how it went, what was said and how they got on.
Something to talk about innit?
and you? is there a transplant partners group? who just meet up for support to each other? recipe swaps? best stout to drink lol
and, yep....funny how we all become 'experts' in our own fields of health....
Knowledge is power :)
Wingy, Take Care and thank you too :D
B. xxx
Hello again Wing and Hi Beryl! It�s so nice to see such wonderful support here from people who care so much! Beryl, you are an inspiration just by being yourself!
Wing�I keep running in and out today, but had meant to send you a breakdown about RoseHips�you can see from the link why it has some positive benefits
http://www.anagen.net/rosehip.htm
A note about liver. I�m not a calves or pork liver fan..although I do eat it regularly when in Moldova. However, I do quite enjoy chicken liver.
I make a relatively �low impact� p�t� by first boiling the liver with a small amount of salt. I then place it in the fridge allowing it to cool completely. Then, using approximately 8-10 livers, I place them in the blender, with approximately 3 grams of white unsalted butter (Danish is about all we have in the house), plus I add some fresh diced parsley, and approximately 1oz of port wine.
After blending, I place it in pots, then back into the fridge. It makes a fantastic day snack or even light meal, with a few Ritz crackers. When I have them, I occasionally make at the same time, a cranberry compote to use as a juxtaposition of flavours with the p�t�.
Oops�now I fancy some this weekend�I�m heading back to Waitrose! Oh my!
BTW, I couldn�t agree more about seeking counselling. It�s an interesting journey for transplant recipients. There is a natural and biological tendency for a feeling of depression to take hold. This also occurs with victims of heart attacks. It is believed that part of the emotional side is generated because of the changing enzymes as your body works, in conjunction with medications not to reject its new �host.�
I do wish you well
Fr Bill
Wing�I keep running in and out today, but had meant to send you a breakdown about RoseHips�you can see from the link why it has some positive benefits
http://www.anagen.net/rosehip.htm
A note about liver. I�m not a calves or pork liver fan..although I do eat it regularly when in Moldova. However, I do quite enjoy chicken liver.
I make a relatively �low impact� p�t� by first boiling the liver with a small amount of salt. I then place it in the fridge allowing it to cool completely. Then, using approximately 8-10 livers, I place them in the blender, with approximately 3 grams of white unsalted butter (Danish is about all we have in the house), plus I add some fresh diced parsley, and approximately 1oz of port wine.
After blending, I place it in pots, then back into the fridge. It makes a fantastic day snack or even light meal, with a few Ritz crackers. When I have them, I occasionally make at the same time, a cranberry compote to use as a juxtaposition of flavours with the p�t�.
Oops�now I fancy some this weekend�I�m heading back to Waitrose! Oh my!
BTW, I couldn�t agree more about seeking counselling. It�s an interesting journey for transplant recipients. There is a natural and biological tendency for a feeling of depression to take hold. This also occurs with victims of heart attacks. It is believed that part of the emotional side is generated because of the changing enzymes as your body works, in conjunction with medications not to reject its new �host.�
I do wish you well
Fr Bill
I am sooo pleased that Fr Bill did not talk about cooking liver and serving it with flava beans and a drop of chilled chianti!
here's a quick chicken liver pate recipe for you:-
butter for frying
1 small onion, peeled and finely chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed with 1/2 tsp salt
1/2lb chicken livers, cleaned and chopped
1 tsp dried thyme
2 table spoons brandy
melt the butter in a frying pan. Add the onion, garlic, livers and thyme and fry gently for about 5-10 minutes or until the juices of the liver are only faintly pink. Remove from heat and let it cool slightly. Mince the mixture finely in an electric blender until smooth. Work in the brandy with a wooden spoon. refrigerate.
(If you can get a plastic pot of livers then wash out the pot as the pate will fit back into that) this is seriously great pate on toast!
here's a quick chicken liver pate recipe for you:-
butter for frying
1 small onion, peeled and finely chopped
1 garlic clove, crushed with 1/2 tsp salt
1/2lb chicken livers, cleaned and chopped
1 tsp dried thyme
2 table spoons brandy
melt the butter in a frying pan. Add the onion, garlic, livers and thyme and fry gently for about 5-10 minutes or until the juices of the liver are only faintly pink. Remove from heat and let it cool slightly. Mince the mixture finely in an electric blender until smooth. Work in the brandy with a wooden spoon. refrigerate.
(If you can get a plastic pot of livers then wash out the pot as the pate will fit back into that) this is seriously great pate on toast!
Hi again Fr Bill, so kind of you all to keep returning to my thread :o)
That is very interesting what you say in the last part of your post about the change in enzymes. He was offered councilling after the transplant (this is his second) but refused it as he felt he didn't need it and just wanted to get on with his life. This can never be the case though as there are still hopsital appt's to go to every few weeks, medication to take for life, the worry of feeling unwell and if it is the kidney rejecting etc... just constant reminders of it all and I guess after so many years it isn't any wonder that people can start to think and feel the way he is. He just wants to see a light at the end of the tunnel where one day this will all stop but it will never be there because this is for life. He needs to accept this and is trying hard to do so but obviously needs this extra help with the councilling. He is usually so strong and I think this is half his battle because he can't stop himself feeling and thinking this way when he knows he normally wouldn't.
Anyway I am waffling now lol (very unlike me ... not!) Just wanted to say Thank you again to you all for replying to my thread it has certainly made me feel a bit more positive for him, for all 4 of us as a family :o)
That is very interesting what you say in the last part of your post about the change in enzymes. He was offered councilling after the transplant (this is his second) but refused it as he felt he didn't need it and just wanted to get on with his life. This can never be the case though as there are still hopsital appt's to go to every few weeks, medication to take for life, the worry of feeling unwell and if it is the kidney rejecting etc... just constant reminders of it all and I guess after so many years it isn't any wonder that people can start to think and feel the way he is. He just wants to see a light at the end of the tunnel where one day this will all stop but it will never be there because this is for life. He needs to accept this and is trying hard to do so but obviously needs this extra help with the councilling. He is usually so strong and I think this is half his battle because he can't stop himself feeling and thinking this way when he knows he normally wouldn't.
Anyway I am waffling now lol (very unlike me ... not!) Just wanted to say Thank you again to you all for replying to my thread it has certainly made me feel a bit more positive for him, for all 4 of us as a family :o)
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