Perineal Massage & Stretching

[Velvetee]

Hi pregnant and past pregnant ladies,

Has or did anyone try Perineal massage prior to giving birth? If you did would you say it helped, did it prevent tearing or made no difference?

Did anyone actually tear or need to have an Episiotomy?

[gossipgirl]

both my children were big and i needed assistance with both of them, my son was 8lb 15oz and my daughter was 9lb 5oz, they were both vountous deliveries so i need a episiotomy.

[Velvetee]

Thanks Gosspi. For some reason the idea of tearing and episiotomies fills me with dread and I've had nightmares about them.

I've heard women can sustain very bad tearing, which can take months, even years to recover from and they are never the same again. My partner has started doing the Perineal massage and stretching for me, so I hope it will help.

[elaine33]

Hi Velvetee, I think you are worrying far too much and reading or hearing too many horror stories. I had an Episitomy with my first (2 cuts in fact) then I had to have stitches and the healing in warm salt baths took a couple of weeks to feel comfortable. With my second I had a small tear, no stitches and it healed in a week, again salt baths did the trick. Women are built to have babies, our bits will stretch, they are meant to, please honey try not to worry too much, my daughter is having her first baby round about the same time as you and like you she is worried but I keep telling her, it is always the horror stories that make the headlines, no one shouts it from the rooftops when things go well. I know you recently lost your mum so I guess you are a litte anxious and obviously hormonal. But my sweetie try to focus on the good, you will soon have a baby and that will be reward enough for any discomfort. Think positive and happy things, try to relax and stop listening and reading all the bad stuff.

[Velvetee]

Many thanks Elaine, I will try not to focus on it too much. All this anxiety really is putting me off everything.

[caththecrazy]

Velvetee Elaine is right you do tend to only hear the horror stories.

I'm quite small and before I had my first son people kept telling me horror stories and they do make you panic. The consultant at the hospital wanted me to have a c section as I have had a few medical complications but I didn't.
My eldest was 9lbs and I didn't tear at all - when baby 2 was on the way perineal massage was very popular here and we did and again even though baby no 2 was 9lbs 3ozs I didn't tear either.

It's easy to say but try not to think about any of the scary stuff you've seen or heard - it doesn't happen to everyone.

Think my hubby suffered more than me I dug my nails into his arm so much he bled!!!

Good luck with the delivery - you'll soon have your precious son in your arms and nothing , absolutely nothing else will matter

[amy.1981]

i had my daughter without any tearing, my sister had a little boy just over a year ago, 10lb 2oz and didnt tear either, i dont think some of these creams really make a difference, it just depends on how "stretchy" you are!

[Velvetee]

I suppose it's also important to listen to the Midwife and only push when she says, when the head is crowning?

[DaisyD]

I did the massage thing as I was also terrified of the idea of tearing. My son was quite small (6lb11oz) but I still tore because he arrived so quickly!!

Firstly - I had no pain relief during labour except a TENS machine, but I did not realise I had torn; there is just so much going on that you probably wont notice. I was sore afterwards but ice packs helped. If you're healthy, you should heal up quickly.

Ask your mum what her labour was like. It is likely you will have a similar experience. My poor mum tore when she had me because the midwife didn't realise how quick the delivery would be. Next time round, I will let the midwives know the baby is likely to be in a hurry to get out!! There are things they can do to make tearing less likely.

Good luck, and allow yourself to be terrified. It is perfectly reasonable to be scared, and its much better to be nervous at this point than to pretend to be ok then go into a panic as soon as your labour starts! Try not to take notice of the horror stories...there are plenty of mums who didn't have a horrific traumatic experiences, and consequently don't have such memorable stories to tell.

[redcrx]

both of mine were 9lbs 6ozs and i didnt tear with either, apart from a small nick which didnt need any treatment at all it was so small.
Listen to the midwife at all times, if you can.

[alijangra]

All fours position for birth is good as it puts less lateral pressure and stretching on the perineum.

[gossipgirl]

i can see why you r worried. the thought of being 'ripped' apart terrified me but i have to say its not as half bad as i thought it would be. they did numb the area for me before doing the episiotomy and i suprisingly i wasnt sore afterwards. I also absolutely dreaded going to the toilet for the first time but again that was fine. Try not to focus to much on the horror stories, everyone is different, no births are the same. just look forward to the birth of your son, its one of the best feelings in the world! good luck x