I feel so bad and worried

[CAJ1]

Families...who would have them hey?

My brother told me this morning that he split with his girlfriend and she kicked him out, he says he has nowhere else to go and no money so spent last night outside homeless. He says he has applied for a crisis loan but won't get it for the next 7 days so asked me for £300 to pay for accommodation and food. I told him I couldn't help him out (I lent him £250 last year and never got it back). He says the last few days of his life have been the worst.

I told him to go to Citizens Advice or to the council and tell them he is homeless. I feel really terrible though, I don't want him sleeping rough but he has to be responsible for his own actions and not expect me to bail him out all the time.

Did I do the right thing? I really do feel bad :(

[B00]

Can't he sleep on your sofa for a few days?

I personally wouldnt ( couldn't) give money, but I certainly wouldn't let him sleep rough.

[zzxxee]

does he work ?

[rowanwitch]

He needs to go to his local council housing dept and tell them he is homeless.... or a neighbour hood office if they have them... he will probably only get the offer of a B & B for a few nights until emergency housing can be sorted but its something

[Booldawg]

you did. He's an adult and needs to stand on his own two feet. Lending him money that you're certain you wont get back will tide him over only for a few days - what happens when that runs out?

He needs a long term plan and poncing money off family members isnt helping himself or you.

[ummmm]

Did I do the right thing?

IMO...no. I would never see a friend sleep rough. Let alone a family member.

[Booldawg]

sleeping on your sofa for a few days is a good compromise, maybe offer him that. If he refuses I wouldnt feel that bad about his plight.

[CAJ1]

I live in Ireland and him in England Boo, I'm certainly not paying his fare over.

zzxxee, he told me at the start of the month he was working but I don't understand why he doesn't have any money if this is true.

Hopefully he'll go and do that rowanwitch, I just hope he can see that he can get help that way.

Thanks booldawg, I know its for the best in the long run I just feel so bad about it.

Bloody typical, I have a romantic meal planned for tonight with my other half and I'm going to be worrying about him now!

[zzxxee]

whose home was it where he was living with his girlfriend?
were they jointly responsible for rent payment ?

[CAJ1]

If he lived here I would certainly let him stay with me, of course I wouldn't choose to see him homeless. At the same time though I have bailed him out before and at 23 I think he should stand on his own feet, he's not my responsibility.

He's emailed me to say that the council have put him on a waiting list so thats something I suppose.

[ummmm]

Waiting list for a young, single Male...will be a long wait.

[CAJ1]

He moved in with his girlfriend zzxxee but paid half the rent. Trouble is she is foreign and has flown home for 2 weeks with the keys.

[mike11111]

This is a difficult one. If he IS working he won't be in employment very long if he is living rough. I know plenty of people in secure, well-paid jobs who have no money because they have addictions like drink and gambling, not that I'm saying this applies to your brother. Can I ask how old he is? As well as the council, he could try various housing associations, such as Nomad. No one need be homeless today and it is a sad reflection on society that some people are, apart from those who adopt this lifestyle from choice or deliberately make themselves homeless through failure to pay rent or anti-social behaviour.

[ummmm]

I'd break in...

[zzxxee]

if its a joint tenancy he can ask landlord for a set of keys as they usually keep a spare set.

[ummmm]

Actually that's a lie...I'd get someone to do it for me. It wouldn't be the first time....

[CAJ1]

Thanks for your replies, I was emailing him there to try and get sorted but I think his time on the library computer has run out. Apparantly he has 60p to his name and is too far away from anyone he knows to be able to get to them to stay there.

He is 23 mike and you might as well say we have no parents so there's no help from there. I don't know, his money has to be going somewhere unless he lied about having a job.

I've told him to contact his landlord if he is on the tenancy agreement and to say he's lost his keys, thanks for the suggestions guys, most appreciated