Teacher's concerned about my son.

[april1693]

At my 9 yr old son's parent/teacher meeting recently, His teacher expressed concern over some of his behaviour. He is extremely bright, achieving above average marks in all subjects and is a very popular, sociable and well behaved child. However his teacher says that she has recently noticed among other trivial things that he sometimes "Looks awkward" when doing PE, and another teacher (who has taught him for a total of 5 hours in the last 4 months) commented on his "quirkiness" and his liking to do things at his own pace and in his own way. My son is very aware that this teacher appears to be scrutinising everything he does. He detests PE and even though I told the teacher that I personally have no concerns, she is insisting that he is referred to paediatrician to "rule out" any issues. I know a little about conditions such as aspergers and autism and I feel that my son in no way fits the criteria for either. It has really upset me that because my son doesn't appear (to her) to conform to a certain stereotype that she possibly wants him labelled with some condition or other. I suppose my question is, does anyone have any idea what, if anything could be wrong with him? To me he is an affectionate, intelligent little boy who has a more mature personality than his age would indicate. TIA

[sandyRoe]

It's not what's wrong with him? It's what wrong with the teacher?

[cazzz1975]

he doesnt sound like he fits the criteria IMO, some kids are quirky, not every behaviour needs a label slapped on it!

[dotty.]

Is he in any way upset by the change of routine? Does he express specific preferences for what might seem trival detail? Does he understand when people are being funny and does he 'get' jokes?
If you have grown used to his behaviors and responses you are not the best judge in soem respects, but his awkwardness may just be he does not find the PE environment comfortable.

[daffy654]

I would let her refer him, if there is nothing wrong then that will be proved by the paediatrician/ educational psychologist, if there is something wrong it will be diagnosed and can then be managed and any help your son might need can be provided.

[RATTER15]

I'm with Daffy 100% So many kids slip through without a diagnosis of a problem. This can lead to so many problems if not acted on now! I'm not saying there is anything wrong with him, I'm just saying it needs action now to find out.

It took me 53 years to find I'm dyslexic.

Good luck xx

[april1693]

Dotty, he has no rigid feelings regarding routine and no he doesn't get stressed by trivial things. He is very humourous and enjoys nothing more than telling jokes (sometimes he shocks me with their content -thats older brothers for you!).

[DTCwordfan]

doesnt show by your typing here, ratter! though its amamzing how some of you cope. my youngest has assimilation issues as to short term memory - she can read ok but its the retention. The diagnosis now and remedies are remarkable.....we suspect its my side of the family as my fathers cousin was the school thicko up to 16 and then won a full Cambridge scholarship and eneded up running Lloyds S-America. My sis says she has had issues too. One of the things thhey have tested my daughter for was innate intelligence and that she has - three years ahead at maths for example and we had some glimpses of that as she loves algebra.

I mention this all as it underpins getting a diagnosis early. If nothing there, brilliant. If there is, they (and you, april) can be ahead of the game in getting ways to help and resolve things.

[DEN53]

April - you know your son better than any Teacher - I am sure you would have picked up on any 'quirkiness'. He most probably, as you say, just does'nt like PE. We are all individuals and can't like everything that is put our way. He now has the added pressure of the Teacher watching him whilst doing PE.

If you have him 'referred' what symptons are you going to present ? doesn't seem a lot to go on, in my opinion.

If you feel the need to look further into this, then let it be your decision, not the Teachers.

[RATTER15]

DT, nothing gets posted until it has been spell checked first lol.

My spelling isn't to bad, my reading is not bad but i need to read a paragraph a few times before I understand the content, if I'm stressed I will not understand a single sentence without reading it over and over.

That's the thing with Dyslexia, its not only the written word that is the problem, its actually the least of my problems.

[Buenchico]

When I was teaching, the Head of PE noticed that something didn't look quite right about one of the 13-year-old lads in my class. A medical check-up showed that he'd been born with a condition which was like a very minor form of spina bifida. The doctors were very glad that the condition was picked up before he'd gone through the growth spurt associated with puberty, as he could have been left with a physical disability if the condition hadn't been identified and treated.

Chris

[RATTER15]

Id cut off my right hand to be ambidextrous!

[DTCwordfan]

Interestingly as life has gone on, I have become more and more ambidextrous......

[NOX]

Tell your son's teacher that he's fully aware of her constantly scrutinising him and that it makes him uneasy and he wondered if she might not be suffering from some sort of psychiatric problem, as to him she doesn't appear 'normal'.
My youngest son is a bit eccentric, unique and also marches to the beat of his own drum and I cannot imagine anything more unpleasant and demoralising for him than to be labelled by some sheep like teacher who imagines everyone should be the same. What a horrible thought.If you believe he's fine then that is enough ( who the hell likes PE anyway?)

[China Doll]

Go to the paediatrician, it's a sensible idea and will rule out anything. My own doctor does assessments like this and it would helpful to have a letter from a doctor saying everything is ok. Daffy's advice is correct.

[seadogg]

Humans respond very differently in different circumstances and I would discount the second teacher's comment, based on little contact. Sounds as if your son is an individualist and will develop his own way.

Our voluntary organisation has many primary school visits and quite frankly some primary teachers are a bit narrow in their outlook. Many are wonderful people.

What is he like on a walk? Is he overweight? How is his co-ordination when doing physical activities he is interested in?

You could have a word with the head before taking things further, if she can get her head out of paper work!

[k8bailey]

I have a friend who is very intelligent and affectionate but a little akward with physical activities, at 17 she was diagnosed with dyspraxia, she wishes she'd been diagnosed earlier

Go, if theres nothing wrong him, great. if there is something he will get help.

[april1693]

Thank you all so much for your replies. I'm still undecided as to what to do but will think it over at the weekend. It was brought to my attention this morning by another parent that a classroom assistant (who has been in the school for 6 years) is due to leave at the end of the school year as the pupil she assists is moving on, and I am one of several parents approached about issues around our children. The conclusion was that this classroom assistant is extremely hardworking (and the teacher relies on her a lot) and it's possible they want to retain her in the school. Maybe I'm reading too much into, I'm just really confused! I'll have a good chat with my hubby and family over the weekend and hopefully things will be clearer! Thanks again for all your great replies x

[Bobbisox]

April my friends grandson showed the same traits, he does have Aspergers and was diagnosed about the same age as your son, now it is recognized he enjoys his time at school and like your child is very bright, there is no stigma attached to this at all, I hope you get it sorted out for yourself and your boys sake, this is not to say I think the same about your son, I can't and would never pass a medical judgement