Letting Go...

[joanne84]

Hi all,
I really need to let my ex go but finding it hard! 6 year relationship ended early Feb and 2 months on not feeling any better. Im also 18 weeks pregnant and found out 3 weeks after he ended the relationship - he is fully aware and has explained he will support me 100%. I know now I have something so much more important to focus on but finding it terribly hard to let him go! I know it sounds really immature and I'm telling myself everyday to 'get a grip' but keep finding myself pining after him...a lot! We are still spending time together which is making it harder for me to let go - I know still seeing him is stupid and I should put a stop to it but I cant help myself as I still love him so much. I'm living in our house on my own now and paying all bills myself but looked at my options and staying in the house would be the best decision as baby will be due in approx 4 months. I need to let go asap!!! He has admitted he is happy with his life now and enjoying being single...wish so much I felt the same but finding it really hard! Anybody experienced the same? I know I will feel better soon but atm it does not feel that way.

[iamcarley]

Hi Joanne,

I went through something similar last year, me and my boyfriend of 2 years split up, we kept spending time together for the 3 months we were split up, and he said the same as your ex: "im happy, im enjoying myself being single... etc." it was torture cos i still loved him, and like you could not let go! eventually he asked me to get back together with him... i dont want to give you false hope that this will happen in your situation, i dont even know if thats what you want, all i am saying is all you can do is wait and see how things go... if you are still spending time together it must mean he still wants to see you! i dont know if you even want him back, but time can be a great healer, not only for getting over him, but for him to realise what it is he wants... youve just got to wait and you may get what you want, you may not, but either way it will be a long painful wait, sorry for the brutal honesty... what i did was just distracted myself with friends, films, books! keep yourself busy constantly.. hope youre ok! x

[grasscarp]

Joanne. If he is going to support you then you will not be ending the relationship. He and you will, if the pregnancy goes well, be parents of a child, and you will have a relationship with him for many years to come. Things may change after the baby is born, and he may enjoy being a daddy even more than being single. I dont know how old you are, but maybe he felt like a break, and he was not doing it because of the baby if you didnt know at that stage. You are not stupid to be seeing him. You will need his support and so will your baby.

[Canary42]

IMO he's a selfish basket - he wants the best of both worlds, a wife and family but the freedom to roam. Totally immature and selfish - ditch him and take him to the cleaners, give him a good dose of reality.

[ummmm]

Errrr Canary - he left before he knew she was pregnant!!

[ummmm]

And yes...me and my ex played mind games for about 2 years after we split.

You can't make a break because you're pregnant...he is going to be (hopefully) in your life forever now...

In your situation he has you where he wants you (not saying thats his intentions) you're pregnant and heart broken...

[feona]

don't let him go..tel him that you want him badly now and also when your baby is born, its his responsibility too. A relationship is not at all about having fun. He has promised that he will support you in every situation, this shows he still loves you..so open up yourself in front of him and go for a solution.