Crosswords3 mins ago
Are there any jokes which aren't cruel?
25 Answers
All jokes seem to be hurtful - they make their subject look foolish in some way.
Can you suggest a nice kind one?
(excluding puns, witticisms and the like)
Can you suggest a nice kind one?
(excluding puns, witticisms and the like)
Answers
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Eight golden rules to approach a woman..
• Make eye contact before you approach: Eye contact can do a lot for you. If she holds your gaze and glances your way every now and then, look at it as a positive sign. However, if she refuses to look at you, your chances are slim.
• Don't express interest in her friends as well as her: Hitting on two women in the same group won't work.
• Make her feel like she's the most desirable woman in the world: It never fails to work.
• Don't avoid complimenting her even if you think she's heard it before: Everyone loves to hear their praise. Make sure you compliment the girl. However, don't over exaggerate or try to flatter her.
• Avoid cliches and pre-packaged pickup lines: Using a cliche will make a woman think that you are trying to hard to get a date with anyone who will fall for your oneliners.
• Don't be too pushy: Even if you do approach a woman in a disco, don't be too pushy. If she is not comfortable giving her number, respect her decision.
• Know when to walk away: Accept rejection and walk away before you end up with a black eye.
and the Ninth - just take the black eye and be done with her.....
• Make eye contact before you approach: Eye contact can do a lot for you. If she holds your gaze and glances your way every now and then, look at it as a positive sign. However, if she refuses to look at you, your chances are slim.
• Don't express interest in her friends as well as her: Hitting on two women in the same group won't work.
• Make her feel like she's the most desirable woman in the world: It never fails to work.
• Don't avoid complimenting her even if you think she's heard it before: Everyone loves to hear their praise. Make sure you compliment the girl. However, don't over exaggerate or try to flatter her.
• Avoid cliches and pre-packaged pickup lines: Using a cliche will make a woman think that you are trying to hard to get a date with anyone who will fall for your oneliners.
• Don't be too pushy: Even if you do approach a woman in a disco, don't be too pushy. If she is not comfortable giving her number, respect her decision.
• Know when to walk away: Accept rejection and walk away before you end up with a black eye.
and the Ninth - just take the black eye and be done with her.....
SOME QUOTES
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!"
When there's a will, I want to be in it."
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience."
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.";
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.";
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.";
People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have.";
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?";
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!"
When there's a will, I want to be in it."
A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience."
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.";
It is always the best policy to speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar.";
Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.";
People always call it luck when you've acted more sensibly than they have.";
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?";
Three men married wives from different cultures.
The first man married a Chinese women. He told her to do the dishes and clean the house. It took a few days but on the third day he came home to to see a clean house and the dishes put away.
The second man married an Italian woman. He told her to do the dishes, clean the house and do the cooking. The first day he did not see any results but by the third day he saw that the dishes were done, the house was clean and the dinner was on the table.
The third man married a Salford lass. He told her to do the dishes, clean the house, have hot meals on the table three times a day and to mow the lawn.
On the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
The first man married a Chinese women. He told her to do the dishes and clean the house. It took a few days but on the third day he came home to to see a clean house and the dishes put away.
The second man married an Italian woman. He told her to do the dishes, clean the house and do the cooking. The first day he did not see any results but by the third day he saw that the dishes were done, the house was clean and the dinner was on the table.
The third man married a Salford lass. He told her to do the dishes, clean the house, have hot meals on the table three times a day and to mow the lawn.
On the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything but by the third day the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye.
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