ChatterBank1 min ago
getting my ex back...
44 Answers
alright people, I've never used an online site before for help but I really need advice. DESPERATELY. I recently met up with my first love, whome I was with for 2 years when I was only 15 years old. He was my first and I was his. Our love was VERY strong, very real, romantic & unlike any relationship I have before. We used to watch the stars together in the long grass and talk about life and aliens etc, we'd be so so romantic & it was REAL first love. Both know it. I ended it when I was a young girl of 17years old. Regretted it but once I regretted it things were too late and he was over it. We was both young kids. Anyways I am a grown adult now of 24 years old. We remained good friends and spoke to each other often via facebook and occasional texts. Last Friday he asked me to meet up for drinks. Soon as I seen him ALL the feelings came back. We had a great night out, total laugh which ended in us sleeping together & he stayed at mine. He had to go to football in the afternoon & kept setting him snooze button hesitating to go. he once got all ready and was at the door then said "I want to stay ten more minutes & took his shoes back off. He told me in the morning when we was kissing that I was beautiful & I made him feel nervous, I asked why and he said he didnt know. He left telling me to text him. Only 2 seconds later he text me haha. We text all saturday & sunday. Monday & Tuesday he only text in the morning and stopped about 1 in the afternoon, when he text this morning i told him he didnt need to text me because he felt he kinda had to, and he replied he was only texting as he was bored but he will stop. I told him to take care and he never replied. Our texts are mostly him name calling and playing about stuff like he'll say 'I hate your face so much' and 'i want someone to rub baby oil onto me' or 'you have a face like a bag of smashed crabs' lol I know its all play talk though. Never saying anything about meeting up again or our past though etc. Heres the bad bit.....I think, emphasis on THINK, that he may have a girlfriend (facebook reasons too long to get into, although he dont have a relationship status on at the moment but this girl writes stuff that appears to indicate there may be something there). I ask how can I get him back. Dear lord, someone please, PLEASE, help me. I LOVE this guy so much. I really do. I dont want any advice on getting over him, I want to know how I need to act to get him back. guys, this guy was EVERYTHING to me, we camped in the snow, had mud fights, used to throw each other in the rver, candle lit picnics, do romantic things...we was SO close we just met too young. Im HEARTBROKEN.I also need opinions on the issue of him maybe liking me??? or was I just sex? HELP please im so distraught x
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For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.it was more that after the Friday night he was texting at morning times and stopping at mid afternoon and not replying. By continuing the messaging with him would only continue feelings that he clearly doesnt have. He didnt used to text me everyday before the friday night. Infact he hardly text. I told him nicely that he didnt need to text me everyday with small talk as to me felt like he was only texting as he felt he had to. Not because he wanted to. He replied nicely and said that he text as he was bored at work and would stop. Its best to cut off with him perhaps because he's only texting through bordeom and im holding off and constant checking my phone for a text that isnt going to come only in the morning for a few hours. I dont want to be anymore hurt than what I am, I understand what you mean though, he may think I dont want to talk with him... x
It sounded like you had a great relationship, but it ended. In two years you are really easily going to forget all the problems you had, or whatever.
If he's got a Mrs then he's obviously not a nice guy! My ex was a PR*** but every now and again I'll still find myself thinking of him and I think that this was because he was my first love too. You are always going to have him as a measuring stick for your future relationships and it would seem that he's set it nice and high for you, dont go backwards, go forwards.
Lots of love to you xx
If he's got a Mrs then he's obviously not a nice guy! My ex was a PR*** but every now and again I'll still find myself thinking of him and I think that this was because he was my first love too. You are always going to have him as a measuring stick for your future relationships and it would seem that he's set it nice and high for you, dont go backwards, go forwards.
Lots of love to you xx
How do you get guy back? How do you convince him that what the two of you had together was special? This is your gal’s guide to making up.
First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.
Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.
If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.
Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.
You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually <a href="http://www.loveishurt.com/gethimback.ht
m">Get
Him Back</a>.
There are some outstanding <a href="http://www.loveishurt.com/getexbackbook
s.htm">break
up books</a> out there that will help you considerably in your quest and these should be read through and followed carefully.
Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Getting a guy back may stop you from meeting him!
First of all, you have to recognize that whatever happened, you were both at fault. If you cheated, he wasn’t giving you what you needed so you looked elsewhere. If he cheated, you were the one not giving what he needed. Yes, the cheater is morally culpable for the cheating. The moral responsibility does not lie with the person who was cheated upon. But the fault lies in both party’s laps.
Given that, it is important to forgive and forget. True forgiveness means that you let go of all of the anger related to the incident. You never bring it up again. You never let it cloud your relationship. If you cannot do this, you won’t get guy back for any period of time.
If you were the person at fault, apologize – and mean it. Too many times, after people say “I’m sorry,” there’s an “Oops I did it again,” moment. You’re not Britney Spears. It’s not cute. When you say you are sorry, you have to commit to changing. Otherwise, you don’t mean it and you won’t get guy back.
Be prepared to chase him a little bit. This doesn’t mean sending him hundreds of text messages or stalking him, but you have got to show him that you are still interested if you want to get guy back. You can’t expect him to come running back just because you have sent out some modest signals that you are ready to re-start the relationship. Put your ego in check and put your heart on the line.
You may have to settle for something less than you wanted. It may be that he is only ready to be friends when you want a full fledged boyfriend. It may take time to rebuild the trust. If this is the case, you need to give him the space he needs to get to know you again. Accept that you have to take what he is offering right now if you want to eventually <a href="http://www.loveishurt.com/gethimback.ht
m">Get
Him Back</a>.
There are some outstanding <a href="http://www.loveishurt.com/getexbackbook
s.htm">break
up books</a> out there that will help you considerably in your quest and these should be read through and followed carefully.
Finally, you have to know when to give up on the get guy back strategy. Sometimes, you just have to move on. If your boyfriend is unable to forgive you, you are in a position where the best thing you can do is move on and enter into new relationships. While this will break your heart right now, it may be the best thing that could have happened to you. Whatever went wrong in this relationship, your soul mate is still out there. Getting a guy back may stop you from meeting him!
aw thanks to the recent posts on this. I however decided to cut contact. He evidently didn't seem to want me the way I did with him. I didn't ask, It was just so obvious due to lack of texts on his part (although I didn't chase him) but still, if he wanted me, he'd have made it happen. I decided to remove him from facebook & delete his number & I haven't heard a thing from him since I done it on Saturday. Hurts a lot but much better than constant checking his facebook/sitting hoping for a text. I also know he does have a girlfriend since the girl in question wrote 'i love you' on his wall. Guess he dont have a relationship status on his facebook to easily get girls perhaps? Just a thought though. If he cheats on girls now, Im probably lucky to not be with him. Just trying to get over it all. Thanks for all the tips on how to get him back but I think I'd be stupid to even entertain the thought of such. Thanks though x