Memory loss, alcohol?

[ChocolatChip]

Hi there,
My mother has been a big drinker for many years, drinking half a bottle of brandy an (afternoon/evening) at least. But the Past couple of years I've noticed that her memory has gotten very bad. For example she will ask when I'm working the next day, I will tell her the answer. Then she will ask my a few minutes later, I will say I've told her. And she will say 'you didn't or 'tell me again'
She will then proceed to ask me several times. And then the next day com

[ChocolatChip]

We have been through her alcohol problems before, again as I said about false promises.
She says she'll go and sort it, but never does. I've kind of learnt to live with that. It's her life and she has to make the choice whether to change or not, and it's not my fault and I've tried my absolute best.

[DTCwordfan]

You start with the GP, CC - they will assess her memory or at least get it benchmarked - the questions sound daft and simple but memory loss can start with names, numbers, addresses ll sorts of things.

Next stage is a second assessment or, if there is an evident lack, or a deterioration on the second assessment, a CRT - it is here that they can diagonise - there are seven major classifications of dementia, of which Alzheimers is one. There can also be mixed - which is what my mother has - mixed Vascular and the big A.

Let me ask you some basics which I hadn't realised had linkage when this started. (i) High blood pressure (ii) strokes - inc. mini ones or incidents of maor fainting (iii) high cholestrol (iv) thyroid issues - as all these can contribute to the vulnerability to dementia related diseases.

It is sad and if there is support I can give you off line, we can find a way to communicate.

[DTCwordfan]

ps - for what it is worth, you get the occasional moment of pure humour or farce, - one of those today here. Those moments, if you are the carer, can keep you semi sane....and breaks from the care, be it the pub or whatever(for you) are essential for your own sanity as you think you are going mad.

I am keeping material for a book on advice, focusing as well on some of the lighter moments (often overlooked), and the above featues the title. I have already found some wonderful pieces of humour out there.........

[ChocolatChip]

As far as I know DT, she has always had normal BP and low Cholesterol levels. I don't believe she has suffered with any of the other illnesses you suggested that could relate or cause high risk.
She is of relatively normal weight, eats (sometimes!) and doesn't sleep very well. She is often very stressed and would suggest that she does suffer with anxiety (from personal knowledge and experience).
I doubt that she drinks more than I think, but I can't guarantee it.

[ChocolatChip]

I have worked with people with extreme dementia before, so understand to some extent how to look after them and know what I'm looking at (sometimes) and something just doesn't sit right with me.
Which is terrble considering it's my own mum.

[RATTER15]

As you may be aware I work in a severe Dementia Unit, we have a fair few that have drink related dementia. Get it checked out.

[DTCwordfan]

Ethanol can also lead to dementia - look CC, I think the message is clear - you need to get a clear screening on this.

If the £££s are there, it is worth going private to accelerate the appraisal, what I have described can take a few months to bottom out on the NHS. Having said that, once we have had the results, the care has been largely outstanding, (one or two missed appointments on their part - not ours and balls up in cross communications excepted).

[ChocolatChip]

Eddie, don't get me wrong. I know she is an alcoholic, I have known since I was about 10 years old. (almost 21 now) I 100% know the idea of your point of a functioning alcoholic, it is the perfect description of her. I have sometimes felt that she has given me things (gifts, money) in a way of making up for all of this.
I think sometimes she does drink more than half a bottle of brandy. But not all the time. She regularly enjoys a margerita and buys boxes of wine from France. But I can never really tell how much of that she gets through.

I know she has cut down the past couple of years, she used to drink a lot more than that.

[ChocolatChip]

Thanks everyone, to DT especially. I will try and talk to her again, and get her to speak to a doctor. Although I don't believe she will go. So sad.

[anneasquith]

i agree with eddie, functional alcoholics are more common than we wish to believe, i know of someone recently who had to be admitted to hospital and within 24 hours was having dreadful alcohol withdrawal symptoms,

[Carakeel]

Chocolatchip, this must be very hard for you and for your family. There are many medical problems that feature the symptom of memory loss. So please, get her to a doctor and have this properly investigated. This may be a deficiency in her diet even or something else that can be easily treated or it could by any of the above mentioned. Don't wait until it had progressed further, have her seen asap. Best wishes.

[ChocolatChip]

Eddie;

//In the company of others who drink – The HFA surrounds himself with others who like to drink. This assimilation makes it difficult to pick out the HFA as being different from the rest. Besides, the HFA truly enjoys drinking and being around others with similar likes.//

Both of my parents are big drinkers, and always drink together every night.

//Alcohol is part of their lives – The HFA would no more give up alcohol than they’d give up their identity. Alcohol is so much a part of their lives that they cannot imagine a life without alcohol.//

I believe this is her as well, she'd cut down but never give up.

//Finishing drinks of others //

Yes!!

//Self-deluding – Some HFAs drink only expensive wine or liquor in the mistaken belief that this means they’re not an alcoholic//

Often claims she isn't an alcoholic because she doesn't drink in the morning or drink vodka or cheap cider.

// HFAs feel they work hard and deserve a drink as a reward//

Definitely!

//Whether minor or severe, emotional and physical consequences of drinking don’t make a difference to the HFA – who will continue to drink, regardless.//

Again

[DTCwordfan]

You can have a quiet word with her doctor - he/she will not comment (and that is right at this stage), however they will keep a "look out". A moment will come at some point if she needs your support......it is getting this onto the table when appropriate.

So such follows on from this, not leastcare resources, financing, power of attorney, wills, driving, insurance etc....

My "incident" today with my mother almost bordered on the farcical - thank you, her Building Soc teller, as we were taking money out one minute and then re-depositing it as we couldn't remember what we needed it for - and had made an exceptional trip into town to resolve....

[roxie_09]

CC I agree with what's already said so won't babble on about it, I know it will be difficult for all concerned, and your mum may well be scared but I wish you all the best xx

[chrissa1]

CC my heart goes out to you. I would seriously think about making an appointment with her GP without her knowing. Put her in the car and physically take her yourself. You could explain, when you get outside the surgery door, that all your family are really worried about her health and could she just do this for you to put your mind at rest.

I know if my daughter did this for me, I would feel duty bound to go along with her wishes. Worth a try.

[chrissa1]

I guess so Eddie. Was just a thought.