Man really frightened my son earlier

[Smowball]

My son and his friend went up the shops to get some sweets this afternoon. A short while later there was a knock on the door and when I opened it there was a man standing there , and my son and his friend were in tears. the man said he has caught them throwing sweets at his brand new car and he had marched them home.I couldnt get much sense out of anybody as the boys were hysterical and the man was angry. He then sort of changed the story and said he had seen my son throw one sweet up in the air as he walked by the car and when he went out there were several sweets on his car(??). Knowing that they shouldnt have thrown anything anywhere at all I got them to apologise to the man and then got them inside. It was only then that I found out that the man had ran outside and grabbed my son by his wrists, his friend got scared and ran off so the man chased him too whilst dragging my son with him and grabbed the friend as well. He dragged them both by the wrists all the way to our house and they both have red marks round both their wrists. They are both very very upset and were really scared. I know they were wrong for trowing the single sweet in the air but this man should never have done what he did and I dont know what to do about it. The boys are 11 yrs old.

[stokemaveric]

ring the police and explain to them what has happened...however angry he was he should not have manhandled your son and his friend...

[sherrardk]

No one is allowed to touch your son and his friend - do you know where this man lives? I'd ring the police (it's a form of assault isn't it?). I know if someone did that to our 11 year my husband would go straight round the man's house (but that then might result in the police coming round to ours though!).

[EvianBaby]

I think you should just forget it. The boys were obviously doing something they shouldn't have been doing and I'm sure they have learnt their lesson. The man might have been too hard on them but you only have their version of events to go by, I doubt the police would be in the slightest bit interested.

[Smowball]

Im a bit cross with myself that I just let the man walk off but I was so shocked that I didnt really take in what had happened till afterward. The boys are both quite shy, and I don't doubt what they say for a minute. My son admitted he threw one jellybaby up in the air(god knows why!) but didnt even know where it went and suddenly this man grabbed him from behind. I dont know this man at all but apparently my son walks down his road to go to school and he is now refusing to walk down there on Monday incase this man is at home. I dont want to cause a scene but the more I think about it the angrier I am getting.

[erin-x]

He should never had done this. When I was about 12 a large group of us were mucking about in the street (not doing anything wrong apart from making a lot of noise). A man came out and accused us of antisocial behaviour and grabbed me and one of my friends. I managed to get away but he dragged my friend into his house. I ran home and my mum phoned the police. They came out straight away and went to see the man who said he was only doing what anyone else would have done. I can't remember what happened to him but it is totally unacceptable!

[flobadob]

If it's any consolation they won't do it again.

[Smowball]

I didnt realise till he had gone that he had touched them/grabbed them by the wrists. The boys know where he lives - they dont know the house number but obviously know its right by where the car was. Its only 2 roads away.

[flobadob]

I would just drop it.

[sherrardk]

I would persue it - if he can't keep his hands to himself over something like a sweet on/near his car then how will he react to other incidents/situations he might find himself in.

[sara3]

2 kids threw an egg at my car. I'd have marched them home if they hadn't buggered off.

[Andyvon]

I don't hold with this nonsense that no one has any right to defend themselves or their property against children causing abuse or damage.

I was in my garden a few years ago - and someone the other side started to kick my fence in! I dashed through the gate and the young 11-year old lad was astonished to see me. He then ran so I chased and grabbed him. I was so furious I dragged him back shouting and yelling. He was terrified and gave me his phone number so I could call his parents. They came round and were shocked their son had done that. They were furious too and said they never thought he would do anything like that. They offered to pay for a new fence panel but I just bought one in the end and fitted it.

The reason many of these kids today think they can do or say just as they wish is because they've been taught that no one has a right to react or discipline them. That's where society has gone wrong. Even teachers can't discipline children now. Your son was obviously up to no good Snowball. What do you expect the man to do? Just smile at the kids or stand impotently by while they throw things at his car or mouth him off? Surely you should take the approach that the children had done enough to cause this fellow adult suffiicient stress that he felt the need to come round to see you - not bemoan the fact that he did. If your son isn't taught now to respect other people and their property then he'll just get worse and worse. It's no good sitting them down and talking to them. Sometimes children need more than that to get something through to them. The man had every right to be angry and I would have done the same.

[cazzz1975]

I agree with flobadob, they wont be so quick to throw their sweets in future!

[Andyvon]

What happened with the sweet is irrelevant as Snowball wasn't there and will certainly adopt her son's story anyway. What is important is that this man was sufficiently upset by these youngsters that he felt the need to march the kids round to Snowball. End of story surely? The kids were misbehaving and causing upset to other people. That's their fault and Snowball should make sure they know it! It's not the man's fault and it certainly doesn't warrant the police! What on Earth's happening today?

[B00]

Nowt you can do is there?

Unless you know the guy, and can go speak to him further about it, you're left with on choice but to drop it.

[NOX]

I'm sorry but not many people would have gone off half cocked and grabbed a kid if the child had only chucked a jelly baby in the air. Equally you know the man is not a danger, he merely brought your child home to complain to you about his behaviour- he would be a danger if he'd locked em in a cellar etc, but this man is annoyed and upset because someone was chucking stuff at his car and he came to complain to the child's mother. This seems fairly reasonable to me. He hasn't hit or hurt your child, he took hold of him to prevent him running off as his friend had so he could bring him back to where he lived to complain. Sounds to me as though he he's not lost his cool at all in fact.