dont want to loose my partner for something he never done he was charged with assault by beating

[kay2011]

me and my partner have been together for 7 years and we have 2 beautiful children one is 3 the other is 5 weeks old... last week saturday me and my partner had an argument because it was my birthday and he didnt buy me anything because his bank card was broken (i no its pathetic) anyway he went out to cool off as id upset him over it then on monday we were arguing againand i was having ago at him over working because he wants to get job and i was being quite selfish wanting to spend all the time with him and i was just moaning over everything so he got up and told me he wanted to leave me beacause im to controlling so i stood by the front door so he cudnt go out and he was grabbing my arms to move me to try and get me out and i was screaming get off at this point my 3 year old was upstairs and my 5 week old was asleep in her baby bouncer so he went upstairs and got the babys car seat and said he was leaving with the baby and i said no your not gonna drive her around when ur in this mood at this point the baby was in her carseat so he put her down out of the way and tryed to move me again and i fell over and hurt my leg so he went to go out of the livig room window and i stood in front of it so he cudnt get out and her ran to the door and opened it he was holding me away from the dorr and i got sandwhiched imbetween the door and wall and as he opened the door the police where there when they arrived they seen me upset and took me in a different room and my arms where all red and i already had a few bruises on my arms from when i was playing with my younger brother the other week so the police asked me what happend and i falsly accused my partner of beating me because i didnt want him to leave me as he was emotionally black mailing me saying he would i told them he beat me coz i wouldnt move away from the door which wasnt the case and they took pictures of my arms which were red and i had bruises from playing with my younger brother the other week and they took pictures of my leg which was red from falling over and in my statement i said i didnt want my partner charged i retracted my statement the day after and told them the truth and said iv been quite postnatally stressed after having the baby the police have been called in the past for previous arguments but no violence i really dont know what to do now i feel so horrible and depressd about what iv said to the police and they have chaged my partner with assault by beating and hes not allowed near me or call me for 2 weeks until he goes to court what is going to happen?? hes an amazing father and boyfriend just in the heat of the moment i said these things to the police out of anger,i dont want to lose him i love him to much i have no family or friends in my area as they live in the north of the uk and i live in the south and i dont have a relationship with my family coz i was in care when i was younger my partner is the only person i have got and my 2 kids an we have verything together also social services have been informed but they havent got in touch with me yet what can i do im so distressed right now

[boxtops]

We argued
I squashed my arms and legs in the door
They got bruised
Someone called the police
I said he'd done it
Then I retracted my statement because he's a good dad, and I love him, and I don't know anyone else round here, he's all I've got

[Smowball]

So, if you have retracted your statement then why is he still being charged??

[trt]

I think I will have to sleep on this one, so complicated and out of my depth!!!!!

[Mosaic]

I am sorry for your tangled situation and that little children are going to be affected by it. May I suggest however you start being an adult?
ie take responsibility for your actions, keep control of your impulses, and act in a reasonable manner that takes consideration of what you need but also the needs of people around you.
You don't need a birthday present. Not buying you something one one day of the year doesn't alwaysmean a man doesn't love you.
You don't need to see your boyfriend all day every day.
Your children need stability and care.
If you think this man isn't reliable stop seeing him.
Lying to the police is seldom a good idea.

[boxtops]

On reflection, the comment about "you need to behave like an adult" does seem very good advice. What grown woman with children ends up with bruises on her arms after "playing with my younger brother"?

If as has been said, your household is known to the police from previous "arguments", it's time someone got to grips with the anger in the household. This might just do it.

[pdust]

*this only seems to happen to people with no punctuation! *

that killed me!!!!! lol

[New Judge]

I must say I’m impressed too. More than 650 words without any hint of punctuation whatsoever (apart from two seemingly random question marks). Strangely though, I think we have the gist of the matter.

As Eddie has said, kay, the matter is now out of your control. The CPS will decide what, if any, charges are to be brought. The CPS now has a policy of pursuing domestic violence prosecutions wherever possible with or without the alleged victim’s cooperation. You may also find that you may be questioned over the matter of making a false statement or wasting police time.

[Smowball]

Your partner may never forgive you anyway for what you've done and so whether he goes to jail or not may be irrelevant sadly.

[Twenty20]

Why do I feel like getting a red pen out and going through that post marking up all the lack of punctuation, spelling, grammar etc. Maybe I should have been a teacher?

OP - can you have another go please, so that it's at least readable? Many thanks.

[bednobs]

seriously, you want to stop your partner getting a job so you can spend time with him?? What are you proposing to live on? what kind of life do you expect your kids to have with neither parent working.
Anyway, as has been said there is probably nothing you can actively do at the moment (except wake up to yourself - strangely i don't think we are getting the full story here - reading between the lines he IS abusive and has been before) as the CPS has a policy of pursuing domestic violence prosecutions because they (not unreasonably) think that the victim has been persuaded to retract the claim, or is in fear of the perpetrator hurting them again. With events from the nottinghamshire police this week (didn't pursue claims of DV then the victim was murdered) i think it more likely they will carry on. If your side of the story is really true, perhaps this will provide him with the space needed to get away from you?
the last thing i can suggest you do is perhaps go on Jeremy Kyle

[kay2011]

i know it's no excuse for making up false allegations but i had a baby 5 weeks ago and iv been suffering from a lot of post natal stress the last few weeks i feel so sorry for my partner that he has had to deal with this just because iv been so selfish and he probably will never forgive me for this, i dont know what i was thinking giving the police a false statement just because he said to me he wanted to leave our relationship i felt like id be punishing him by telling the police lies now i do hope they take me in for questioning i should be punished not him.

[pink-kittens]

have a few of these kay ..............................

your keyboard appears to have lost theirs

[China Doll]

You will have to tell the police. BUt has previously stated, the CPS will be the ones to decide about charges because of the history of DV victims withdrawing their statements through fear and intimidation.

You should do a search on this site for domestic violence in questions in law, we get alot of them and there's a lot of good advice in them.

[boxtops]

Kay, you are looking at this from completely the wrong side - you are so wrong. You have just had a baby, you have post-natal depression - these aren't reasons for your bloke to go off on one. You have a right to be selfish at this time of your life, it hopefully doesn't last long - you're not being selfish, he is. Stop feeling that you are in the wrong here - you're not, stop punishing yourself, go and look after your little ones, be kind to yourself. It's not a bloke's right to abuse you just because you are under a lot of pressure due to just having given birth.

[boxtops]

.. and PS - not that it's entirely relevant now, but if my bloke wanted to get a job to support his family, I would be admiring that, not trying to put him off. You WILL feel better in yourself - stick with it and believe in yourself. This sort of behaviour has a nasty habit of repeating itself, so even if he says he will change, he probably won't.