Feeling so unbelievely miserable.

[ChocolatChip]

I apologise ahead of this post, as I'm going to be a right whinger. Particularly when you consider that I should be happy, as I have a lot of stuff going for me.
I have had problems with my breathing for as long as I can remember. I can never breath as fully as I feel like I should be able to, and I am constantly bring up phlegm everyday. I always feel tired, despite trying to get enough exercise (I just end up dizzy and feel like I'm going to pass out). I have gone to the doctors so many times, with the 'diagnosis' of asthma before they'd bothered to consult an asthma nurse. Eventually I saw one, and was on medication for a few months, to which I never improved. But the doctors seem to refuse to consider another option.

I'm at university at the moment, studying a topic that I don't really enjoy. But I am unsure if that is the case or if it is because I'm struggling with the work. I have no motivation and I am certain that I will fail, or come out with a low end degree that will get me nowhere. But too afraid to leave for appearing a failure or regretting it in the future. I've given up a job I really enjoyed in order to concentrate on university work.

I have a house and a husband, which means I feel like I need to be doing housework all the time. My husband works really hard so I don't have to work, which makes me feel awfully guilty. And whatsmore I have been diagnosed with vaginismus, and haven't had sex with my husband in almost a year, we're going through couples therapy in order to try and sort it, but I feel guilty and un-woman-like for being unable to do things for my husband.

To top it off, we have a nightmare pooch who misbehaves all the time, stealing things etc, and he just bit me :(
Sorry its so long, but I just need to rant a bit, as I don't feel like I can explain all this to anyone at the moment. As I'm struggling to find anyone who understands. My family and friends think I should just get on with university that I'm bright and that I can do it.

I've had therapy and CBT which has helped me a lot, especially for anxiety, but at the moment the sadness I'm suffering is unbearable. When the dog bit me, I think I got a bit of panic/adrenline, walked up to the medicine cabinet and thought about taking them, I'm just tired.
Thank you.

[ummmm]

Vallow...don't be a plonker.

[ChocolatChip]

Bednobs and cazz, no, unfortunately all sexual acts have been banned by the counsellor. We are getting closer now to being able to touch each other sexually,maybe in a few weeks time? He has said that he will do anything in order to try and solve the problem, and he is able to masturbate himself, and that is only a recent thing too.
The only thing I could've done with uni was defer a year and then come back in 2012.
But after 30th November (so last week) the student loans wouldn't be available in my final year, as far as I've been told, and I wouldn't be able to afford to pay for myself.
I will definitely try and write down things I need to sort out and goals etc. I know I can do it, somewhere deep down.

[ummmm]

I've just changed doctors. Filled in a form, showed ID, and was on the system within 5 days. Worth a shot...

[ChocolatChip]

I would understand vallaw, if I my problems were outrageous. But they are not, feel free to come and walk in my shoes whenever you feel like it. I am a long term user of AB, and I am most upset that someone would accuse me of lying.

[ChocolatChip]

Thanks ummm, will do

[ChocolatChip]

Okay, whatever. Please leave this thread now since you have nothing useful or helpful to say. You don't have to believe me. But I'm here for actual help, rather than to be accused a liar and to be insulted.

[ummmm]

CC....Ignore them and just report. They've already had their answers on page 1 removed and one on this page...

[ChocolatChip]

No, everything I have written was 100% true. So please leave.

[bednobs]

"not accusing you of lying" ... really??

[ChocolatChip]

I will do, just so fustrating when I know exactly what is going on in my life, to be accused a liar when trying to explain. Lying would get me nowhere as then no-one would be able to give me realistic options of what I could do to help my situation.
But thank you for all the actual help I've had on this forum.

[ummmm]

Makes you understand why regular users feel the need to post any personal problems in a new account.

[ChocolatChip]

Although if you posted in a new account you'd be accused of being a troll anyway. lose/lose

[bednobs]

i recently had to make another account cause i didn't want people to say anything about my personal post

[ummmm]

See ya...