Confusing??

[sarah-london]

Hey all, guess this is one for makes but females feel free to step up!

An ex of mine from 2 years ago contacted me recently. He's moved into a new home n wanted me to go n see it. I went along to see it, we hung out all night together....watching tv....banter & I ended up staying at his, in the same bed and we just cuddled all night long in our underwear. No sexy time took place & he just wanted to cuddle me. We spoke loads about everything really n it was a very relaxed evening. No awkwardness. Since the weekend we've shared a few txts but I can't allow myself to continually txt him.

What was/is the point of it?? What do I do now?

Thanks guys x

[ummmm]

What do you want?

[sarah-london]

Ha ha good question! I know I like him very very much....he makes me feel comfortable n he makes me laugh....hard! I can't chase him as I did a bit of that last time & I'm not prepared to humiliate myself again.

[boxtops]

Just do nothing then, wait and see if he contacts you again. Don't hang around waiting though.

[grasscarp]

In that case do absolutely nothing at all. If he wants you back he will chase you. Trust me. Men are hunters and they enjoy the hunt. By the sound of it you are being slowly hauled back in!

[ll_billym]

My advice regarding getting back with exes is this:

They are an 'ex' because you finished for some reason. If that 'reason' is still there - i.e. you/they/the circumstances haven't changed much, then you will just end up finishing again at some point for roughly or exactly the same reason. It will ultimately be a waste of both your time. This is what you tell them when you say you don't want to take things further.

If on the other hand things have changed and you do want to have another go then make sure you take things slowly - enjoy it!

[sarah-london]

Thank you so much guys for taking time to respond. I guess after that night, as lovely as it was to hang out n we cleared up something that was left unsaid.....it did leave me kinda confused! I'm not male n just was trying to work out why a guy would do that.....if it was about sex I could understand!

[welshlibranr]

I would do nothing sarah, let him make the next move if there is to be one at all!....definately don't do the running!......big mistake!.........

[ll_billym]

Try asking him why he invited you over :) Just a suggestion like.

Good luck!

[4getmenot]

doesnt have to be about sex. Some men can try play on your emotions without the sex, some exes miss the attention. Make sure you leave it so he is the one paying you attention.

[sarah-london]

Agreed people! I can't allow myself to chase....defo not. Maybe he was just lonely n wanted company....end of! I have no idea how guys brains work ha ha

[venator]

not sorry for you, sarah - The working of women's brains is far more imponderable!!!

[Hopkirk]

An ex from two years ago contacts you, you end up in bed in just your crackers and you wonder what he wants?

[sarah-london]

Ha ha 'in just your crackers'....never heard that before! I completely understand what youre saying but in my defence it was never my intention to stay....and I def was not having sex with him n I made that clear. He was fine with it and said he just wanted to cuddle me.....it's messed with my head a little I won't lie. If it was about seeing a female in her undies then I'm sure he could've called many-a-girl....a very good looking guy. Really n truly I just wasn't sure what it was all about, if anything at all n wanted some opinions!

I do thank you guys and I will be taking your advice. I'm not calling, texting or initiating any contact. What do I do if it happens again? Eek! For now I think I'll just take it for what it was....a night of cuddles which were very nice. X

[oneinam]

Sometimes, some of us just want to be nice for the moment and there is nothing more that is expected. Lots of sentiment with ex's and we can remember the good times as well as the bad times. For the good memories, being nice with an ex and nothing more or expected is the whole exercise in itself. I may be talking for a minority of men though.
I was in Montpellier one time, and I was at the bus stop talking to a girl. We bumped into each other 30 minutes later and another quick chat. we said bye and made our way. I turned back and asked her if she wanted to have dinner with as I was going to have dinner anyway. She declined. So we parted, but she turned round and said "why not"? We had a lovely dinner and more conversation and then we said our goodbyes. It was for the moment because the initial conversation was good. Again, there may be no future but for the present it can be perfect. Now I feel sentimental again.

[bloaterbum]

how sweet .There are times when us men just want reassurance.don't read too much into it and cut down this texting it's evil and often misunderstood .I would sooner have a 2 minute conversation than mess with that sh%%
Play it by ear and don't get used

[Sqad]

\\\\we just cuddled all night long in our underwear. \\\\

\\\\\No sexy time took place & he just wanted to cuddle me. \\\\

Yeah! right.

[woofgang]

Sqad for once you and I agree.....

[rowanwitch]

Maybe he is patient, maybe he's gay, maybe he wants to work on friends with beneifits too soon to tell
tread softly

[Sqad]

woofy....c'mon...we often agree ;-)

[Kristal53]

I've had one failed marriage getting back with an Ex -ex's are that for a reason.....however much you post-mortem the relationship and think things will be different this time round -they rarely are. Take it for what it is and don't read anything more into it - and keep yer crackers on ;-)