Still confused!

[sarah-london]

Went out with this guy 2 years ago n we have started seeing one another again. We split for stupid reasons last time, none of which are present this time. Well....I say we've been seeing each other....it has only been a handful of times but I'm so utterly confused. We see each other, we chat loads, lots of kisses n cuddles. No sex (I make sure of it!) but that's it! I like this guy a lot but I'm not sure what he wants. I have stayed over a couple of nights and he loves it but that's it....he never follows it up. He says things like 'my mates love me nearly as much as you do' and he cooks me lovely food and is very attentive when I'm there. I just don't get it and am feeling disheartened. Any views guys? Why can't he just admit that he likes me? X

[ummmm]

Isn't he showing he does? He cooks you nice food,lots of kisses and cuddles. Surely actions are speaking louder than words?

What do you want? For him to declare his undying love?

[Celticv11]

What don't you get? What has he done or not done? Perhaps he is not in some desperate hurry to reach another level.just let things develop naturally

[starone]

If his mates love him perhaps he is gay but does not have the heart to tell you, or indeed, bisexual.

[woofgang]

sounds gay to me....seriously, not being disparaging or anything.

[ummmm]

What? OMG...

Gay? Why?

//Well....I say we've been seeing each other....it has only been a handful of times but I'm so utterly confused//

It's only been A HANDFUL of times...

seriously....

[Sqad]

. \\\\No sex (I make sure of it!)\\\\
\\\ but I'm not sure what he wants.\\\

Now.......might your above statements give you a clue?

[ummmm]

No Sqad...it's been a handful of times. There are men out there that respect the fact the women don't want to have sex too soon.

[pastafreak]

If you are going to 'make sure' there is no sex-what more do you expect? Surely you've set the boundaries...and he is respecting them ( for want of a better word ).

[woofgang]

Gay? Why?

'my mates love me nearly as much as you do'

[Sqad]

\\\ There are men out there that respect the fact the women don't want to have sex too soon.\\

Ah1 got it now,,,thanks ummmm.......didn't realise that....it had never occurred to me......but hang on went out with him 2 years ago....no a handful of times with kisses and cuddles..........I wouldn't call that "too soon"

[sarah-london]

Defo not rushing to get to the next level guys....I am actually happy with the rate at which they are progressing BUT (yes there's always a but!) some level of reassurance would be good. I'm no shrinking violet but everyone likes reassurance. Even if that were just him telling me he's not seeing other girls....cos lets be fair he could be. He gives nothing away at all. Grrrrrrrr

[jackthehat]

Why not ask him if he feels that you are in an 'exclusive' relationship?

[joggybear]

You posted this before, so why you asking again? If its reasurance u want, then just ask him. If you want to be his proper gf then also ask him, do you want to sleep with him properly? If not, then accept it as it is, you said it was nice last time, is he the sort to want to woo you? If so and you don't then you need to talk

[ummmm]

Sqadlet...we don't know how long she went out with him 'years ago'

[joggybear]

that crossed with yours-signed in after typed it. Maybe if you don't want the gf thing, then you should talk to him anyway

[sarah-london]

I guess 'asking' brings with it the fear of rejection from someone you really like. Who wants to put themselves up to be potentially shot down. Its scary peeps!

[ummmm]

It's not as scary as you think.

You're not going to go into a sexual relationship with someone unless you're exclusive. There is no rejection. If he says yes, you're exclusive, then you have your answer. If he says no, then don't sleep with him.

[woofgang]

so how long are you going to put your life on hold for?

[ummmm]

For gods sake woof...they've seen each other a handful of times!!!

[sarah-london]

Am not putting life on hold. Have tried so hard not to get attached to him again n I know it's beginning which is why I feel I'm gonna have to get out now. Surely if he really liked me he'd be offering something, anything (even if that was a teeny tiny piece of reassurance)