News1 min ago
Here is something to offend everyone.
17 Answers
HEADLINES FROM THE YEAR 2030?
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions .
White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK's third language.
Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.
Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa: Sharia law must be enforced.
Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat.
Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.
Britain's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.
Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED): Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.
Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
After a ten year £75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labour Party: Scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held only partly responsible for crime.
Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.
Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.
Bradford won this years FA cup final beating the Hindu Hornets 4-1.
Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions .
White minorities still trying to have English recognised as the UK's third language.
Children from two-parent, married, heterosexual families bullied in schools for being 'different'. Tolerance urged.
Manchester schoolgirl expelled for not wearing a Burqa: Sharia law must be enforced.
Japan announces that they will no longer consume whale meat as whales are now extinct and the scientific research fleet are unemployed. UK Government has told the Japanese that Grey Squirrels taste like whale meat.
Britain now has ten Universities of Political Correctness. Professor Goldman of LSPC says there is still a long way to go in the fight to stop people saying what they think.
Britain's deficit £10 trillion and rising. Government declares return to surplus in 100 years which is 300 years ahead of time. Prime Minister Mohammed Yousuf claims increased growth through more immigration is the secret to success.
Wall Street banks merge to form new super bank, Goldman Rothschild Ebeneezer Epstein Drescher (GREED): Huge bonuses paid to executives to celebrate launch.
Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped.
Iran still quarantined. Physicists estimate it will take at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
France pleads for global help after being taken over by Islamic Countries. No other country volunteers to come forward to help the beleaguered nation!
Jose Manuel Rodrigez Bush says he will run for second term as US President in 2032.
Post Office raises price of stamps to £18 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
After a ten year £75.8 billion study, commissioned by the Labour Party: Scientists prove diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.
Average weight of a British male drops to 18 stone.
Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed they can now photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil and human rights. Victims to be held only partly responsible for crime.
Average height of professional basketball players is now nine feet, seven inches.
New law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2035 as lethal weapons.
Inland Revenue sets lowest tax rate in decades at 75 per cent.
Bradford won this years FA cup final beating the Hindu Hornets 4-1.
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Last muslim blows himself up in protest against not being taken seriously.
Archbishop of Canterbury says (in court).that the bible does not specifically prohibit supplementing salary by being a rent boy.
Israel begins deporting all citizens who cannot prove they are the direct descendants of Abraham.
The loss of wine production due to the desertification of France is compensated by the Icelandic vineyards.
The Falklands Islands Grand Prix is boycotted by the Argentinians, the Falkland Island government refuse to give Argentina further aid..
Switzerland sinks 2 metres due to the weight of gold held in it's banks.
Britains PM the striker Muamba Adinga brings a new bill before parliament suspending the payment of tax by foreign workers until they have returned to their home country.
Etc.
Last muslim blows himself up in protest against not being taken seriously.
Archbishop of Canterbury says (in court).that the bible does not specifically prohibit supplementing salary by being a rent boy.
Israel begins deporting all citizens who cannot prove they are the direct descendants of Abraham.
The loss of wine production due to the desertification of France is compensated by the Icelandic vineyards.
The Falklands Islands Grand Prix is boycotted by the Argentinians, the Falkland Island government refuse to give Argentina further aid..
Switzerland sinks 2 metres due to the weight of gold held in it's banks.
Britains PM the striker Muamba Adinga brings a new bill before parliament suspending the payment of tax by foreign workers until they have returned to their home country.
Etc.
After years of government by the 'women of a certain age party' the sale of pretty net curtains and white cardies brings the ecomomy back on target
Prime Minister Mavis Bradshaw Gupta opens the new centre for applied crochet saying it is important in the development of the uks long history within the textile industry
Jose Mourinho wins the Champions league for the 11th time with Scunthorpe United
Roman Abramovich found hanged in his apartment police are treating the death as suicide
UK Virgin PlC buys out the last major bank...
Cliff Richard narrowly misses the Christmas number one spot with his latest single Oh bu66er there isn't a god so why are we celebrating chistmas...
Prime Minister Mavis Bradshaw Gupta opens the new centre for applied crochet saying it is important in the development of the uks long history within the textile industry
Jose Mourinho wins the Champions league for the 11th time with Scunthorpe United
Roman Abramovich found hanged in his apartment police are treating the death as suicide
UK Virgin PlC buys out the last major bank...
Cliff Richard narrowly misses the Christmas number one spot with his latest single Oh bu66er there isn't a god so why are we celebrating chistmas...
1 to 17 of 17
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