starting again

[nailit]

some time ago I posted this question http://www.theanswerb.../Question1121690.html
Obviously the problems were deeper and ive since had to move out of the home. Just how does anyone start again after a relationship?
Its not just the relationship, its my family that ive lost. Living on my own in a cold lonely flat. Havnt even got an internet connection for company...(typing this on a public computer)
Just how can you believe that you once actually had a relationship when it was a sham all along?
Ive seriously considered ending my life. Im already on anti depressants but seeing the doctor again wont solve anything, he cant give me my family back.

[murraymints]

you know things DO get better.....you have to make yourself get out and about make some new friends who are not aware of your circs...please do not get despondant people on the whole are good....are you at the library ??...join a reading group for discussion....come here when you can..will be thinkingof you..take care..and take heart..I have been there....♥♥

[ummmm]

How old are you?

[mrs_overall]

Hi nailit. I have been there too.
When you reach rock bottom there is only one way to go - up.
Life is very very precious and things WILL get better. Take life one day at a time. I don't know your circumstances re work or finance but something as simple (and free) as going for a walk on a sunny spring day will lift your spirits.

[tinkerbell23]

Do you have kids nailit?

Please dont think like that...you werent happy in your marriage....its not going to be easy but you will get there! Honest you will...you got any friends to talk to!? And on here is GREAT always someone xxx

[nailit]

murry...yeah im in the library, cant face reading at the mo. Cant concentrate.
ummm, Im 46
mrsO, im not working which doesnt help.
tinker, ive got a stepson and my own son. Friends are mostly married. A friend in need is a pain in the butt kind of thing.

[mrs_overall]

nailit, if you really dont have anyone to talk to, you can always ring the Samaritans

[nailit]

Believe me mrso, ive rang the samaritans but nothing changes. I still feel the same devistation and hurt.

[murraymints]

It will take time...make yourself talk to at least three new people each day...even if it is a good morning 0n the pavement...

[ummmm]

Do you still love your wife?

[mrs_overall]

All the talking in the world wont stop the pain, only time can do that. Like I said, take life one day at a time and do at least one positive thing each day

[tinkerbell23]

Aw nailit...i think your friends would be happy to meet you for a drink. Its hard to see any way forward sometimes.....but each day you might not notice but you will getba bit stronger. You will have your bad days obviously but i think you should see if a mate fancys a pint or a meal or something!! You still managing to see the kids!? Xx

Keep trying the samaritans, its someone to talk too. Are you taking any medication for depression? Remember it can take a while to kick in xxx

[ladybirder]

Tinker he has said he's on anti depressants and seeing his doctor:-) I put a smiley to show I wasn't telling you off but it looks like I'm pleased the OP is on ADs:-(

[tinkerbell23]

Yeah but i was wondering if he is taking them and a wee reminder that it can take weeks to feel the benefits...i think people often give them up because they dont work quickly xx

[murraymints]

Tinks...have you seen horsehoes post for help/advice...you may be able to help...

[tinkerbell23]

Yeah MM i left a wee comment xx

[Smowball]

Hello nailit. I really feel for you. Your previous post says that you lived in a sexless marriage, so I assume that was why you left. Did your wife tell you why she didnt want to have sex?

[albaqwerty]

You are suffering grief. It's a bereavement of a marriage and a life.

Are you still able to see your children? Would that be too painful at the moment?

On a positive note, check your post title. Starting Again. That is what you will eventually do. There will be light at the end of the tunnel xxx

[Kiki-frog]

nailit, like everyone here I'm so sorry about what you are going through. It is a very harsh and lonely time when any close relationship ends, but a million times worse when there is a family involved. Are you still living close by and can you still see your boys? I do hope so, because they must also be feeling devastated and missing you very much.

Please don't be afraid to talk to your friends. You make a joke about a friend in need, etc, but if they are true friends they will be there for you to give you support. You've been through a trauma and it will take time to rebuild your life. But you can and you will rebuild it.

Murrymints' advice about talking to three new people each day is excellent. It will give you a daily goal and you never know where new contacts might lead you. Or not necessarily talking to new people, but doing something new, going somewhere new, setting yourself something to achieve on a daily basis will surely help.

And remember that there are always loads of nice AB folk around to talk to. x

[nailit]

thanks for all replies guys. To answer some of the questions, yes I still love my wife, no we didnt split up because it was sexless (that was just a sympton of growing apart), I still see my son but more often than not he's out with his mates (as 16 yr olds are) my stepson isnt bothered about seeing me. My friends are all married and working with families of their own, so dont see that much of them.
I just cant wrap my head around how you can have a family one minute and the next you are living on your own in a cold empty flat. It just doesnt compute with me. Apart from been sexless, i thought we werent doing to bad.
My head is seriously wrecked.
Thanks again for all your support guys.

[nailit]

BTW, Ive been on anti depresents for a while, not just since the breakup. Cant say theyre doing much good though.