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What doi women want from men?

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RacingLover | 17:26 Mon 30th May 2005 | Body & Soul
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Hello,

I'm a man who os soliciting answers from a female's perspective.on this subject

and why when I've asked  to the above question (face to face) women seem to be evasive about giving me answer?

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Simple: there is no answer!  Each woman could, on any day, tell you what she, on that day, wants from men/a man.  He may provide that, but the next day, her desires may change. 

What I want from a man now, aged 22, will be very different from what I'll want in 5,10,15 years time and will ALWAYS be different from what many of the other women here, and elsewhere want. 

The way to please a woman (minds OUT of the gutter please!) is to find out what SHE wants.  And NEVER assume that she wants the same as the last girl, or even what your friends told you women want.  We're all different! Same as men are!  :-)

Only a man could expect an answer to that.  Just as only a woman could expect an answer to the opposite question. 

Both sexes need to accept the limitations of the other.

I completely agree with acw, all women are different and therefore want different things

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Thanks for some answers. I'm not having a dig at anyone I don't know if I worded it wrong or my question got misconstrued.  EssJay1 "Only a man could expect an answer to that. Just as only a woman could expect an answer to the opposite question" I asked becuse I don't know. I don't understand what you mean by "Both sexes need to accept the limitations of the other".

Onto acw.I'm aware each woman is differrent. This is the purpose to get INDIVDUAL ANSWERS! So I can see what keeps cropping up time and time again.and the variants. Is "The way to please a woman (minds OUT of the gutter please!) is to find out what SHE wants" is said in the context that a man is in a relationship with her.I was referring to the dating game.There many good men out there who are getting nowhere in this, trust me it true.
 It's tantamount to asking someone who works in personnel about CV and interview skill. (people ar different)

Revised questions (individulism, colllective or generic):

  1. What sort of things do women ultimately would desire(
  2. What traits in men do women find appealing in men. determine wheteher or not he's a yeah or a.nea to having a relationship with.

Hopefully, this is better understood and will yield more answers.  After which I'll elaborate on question. 2.

Again racinglover - you're asking general questions.  You need to ask "What do YOU want in a man?". 

Also, you must understand that pleasing a woman starts BEFORE you are in a relationship, otherwise you'll never get TO the relationship.  So I was NOT presupposing a relationship at all! :-D

I can tell you what I would want, but that will only help if you want to pull me!!! :p

I can tell you some general things that most of my friends and I find more attractive and less attractive, if this helps!

GOOD POINTS:

  • Open minded
  • Friendly
  • Interested in ME/MY LIFE
  • Can make a girl laugh, but not necessarily by trying to be a comedian
  • Intelligent
  • Worldly (i.e., he doesn't have to be hugely academic, but most of my friends and I like a guy who's interested in the world around him)
  • Polite
  • Confident, but not arrogant

That's a few for now - of the more general things. 

BAD POINTS:

  • A guy who seems to think you'll sleep with him quickly.
  • Looking at the boobs not the eyes.
  • Chat up lines.
  • Sexism, racism, inappropriate remarks about anyone actually, especially on the grounds i just mentioned, or about disability or sexuality.
  • Forcefulness
  • Talking about himself too much - especially when trying to impress you with tales of unlikely things he's done.
  • Bettering you repeatedly.  (As in, everything you'e done, he's done it too, but more so).  If you have bettered her, FINE, but keep quiet to flatter her ego. 

P.S., The best comment you can pay a woman, in terms of physicality, is "You look great/fantastic!".  Comments such as "I like your dress/hair" can imply to a nervous woman that you DON'T like the rest of her!  Crazy, but true!

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You know this question you ask kids (still? maybe it is no longer pc!) "What do you want to be when you grow up?" well I always said (and don't forget I'm talking early primary school here) I wanted to marry a millionaire who could cook. So what did I want in a man? Obviously a good bank account and culinary skills.
It took my Mam a long, long time to make me understand if he was a millionaire he could hire a cook:

As time went on and I reached my 20s and thoughts about finding a partner were becoming serious: now I wanted a very, very wealthy guy to set me up in a very luxurious flat overlooking the roofs of Paris, who was married, lived the other side of the world and only came to see me for long weekends 2 or 3 times a year. What did I want from a man? It seems MONEY, plenty of free time and distance, no interference...

What have I got a man who gives me everything and the first person who tries to worm their way in, I will SCRATCH THEIR EYES OUT!! He isn't rich but we're very comfortable, he isn't married to anyone but me, he is a great cook (but so am I, I think) and he is ALWAYS there for me: caring, interested, attentive, intelligent, open-minded...

I'll stop as this is long enough!

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what I want from a man (in no particular order) - honesty, kindness, sense of humour, compasssion, integrity, the ability to make me feel beautiful and sexy (even when I'm not), lack of bigotry, sexual compatability, intelligence, trust, shared passions/interests, love of children/animals and (at the very asthetic end of the scale) must be taller than me, have a moderately hairy chest and be dark, as opposed to blonde. 

 Oh I've just described my partner of 16 years - he will be chuffed!!!

I can tell you what I want: someone who's kind, generous, funny (that would be shares MY sense of humour obviously), chivalrous, intelligent, creative, broadminded, sticks to their beliefs and principles and on the aesthetic side, tall with long hair and blue eyes.  You might notice a lot of those qualities are similar to what other people have said!

Given that we've already established that there is no 'right' answer then my personal list goes along these lines:

Someone that I like respect and love.

Liking is important - someone that you could see fitting in with your friends and family. Who behaves in such a way that they are a likeable person. polite, funny, interested and interesting.

Respect, I can only see myself with a person that I genuinely respect. Whose basic principles I agree with though I certainly don't want someone who mirrors my views on every issue. Someone confident but not cocky or arrogant.

Love, Someone who cares for me and who accepts care back. Who will celebrate success with me and look after me when I fall as well as allowing me to do the same with them. And who I fancy the pants off...

Really I want someone with whom I work well as a partnership and yet will give me space to be myself. It's about finding a match for you.

Having said that desperation has to be one of the biggest turnoffs. So perhaps if you're looking a good first step would be to stop asking women what they want from you. Just be interested in them and genuinely want to get to know them as people as well as prospective partners and you'll be on your way...

This makes me think of that old joke about the woman that enters the building where there are different men on each floor getting better and better as she goes further up.  And she meets "the perfect man" but goes up to the next floor, only to find a sign saying "this just goes to show there's no pleasing women". 

Racinglover - are you sure our answers are making you feel better?

RacingLover, I didn't mean to be cryptic!  I just don't think it's a question that can have an answer.  We have to accept limitations from our partners - I snore, fart and can get completely unreasonable over nothing at all.  I know that about myself and will accept those, or similar flaws in others.  Surely what we want from anyone is to be accepted with good grace.  Good luck in finding a definitive answer to your question!
By the way, biologically women want offspring and men want to spread their seed as far and as wide as possible (massive generalisation, and of course there are exceptions!)

"Despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, I have not yet been able to answer the great question that has never been answered: What does a woman want?"

Sigmund Freud

Question Author

Comments on the answers.

Gosh this thread is getting longer than I expected. Thanks for the veritable answers I've got to date.

I see that confidence, open-mindedness, compassion, intellect, sense of humour, "respect", "love" and shared interests keeps on being mentioned. Okay ther were some personal things that were spoked about.

Lillabet, I'm certianly not "desperate" for a woman. The purpose of my question is to educational feedback from real women (not the balderdash that you get from those "men's" mags).  I've spent over a quarter a cientury looking into this.

There are many women who have men how mistreat and abuse women and the other hand there are many men (myself included) who has these traits but are getting nowhere because they don't understand women lol.

Onto my question, which may seem a stupid. However there's a reason behind.

How do differentate what's is a boyfriend and a friend?

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