Go for a relationship again?

[momcj]

I split up from my childs dad over 6 years ago! Im obvioulsy totally over that- been so for a long time, it was wrong for a long time. He was my only serious relationship and i have not had any relationship since. The thing is i have met this guy, it came totally out of the blue, only been on couple dates, so very early days. The thing is im quite scared and just dont know if i feel i can take the risk of getting hurt again etc. I really enjoy his company and as i said i know its early days, but i tend to get emotionally involved quickly! and so im scared that is going to happen again. Obviously i also have my daughter (dont worry i have no desire to introduce them for a while, until i was sure it were going somewhere-if thats what i want), its just future wise its extra pressure as it would affect her, dont know if im just scared but how do i control this? help please

[mandy22]

its very early days, relax a little, be yourself and get to know this guy properly, and enjoy the extra attention! dont set yourself any goals on the relationship front, and dont let what has happened in the past spoil anything now. You enjoy being with this guy, so just take it a step at a time and see what happens. good luck x

[ummmm]

The majority of people who use this would have been hurt at some point in their lives. Don't let fear ruin your future. Even if it doesn't work out you could have great fun finding out.

[momcj]

thank u x

[cathfromsaron]

relax, take things slowly AND ENJOY yourself! x

[parkie]

I think one step at a time is the answer. As and when the time comes when either your friend or daughter,(however old she is), ask to meet the other person you can then start judging how well they get on together and if the relationship is going to work.
I think the next question by Icemaiden is something to take into account.

[Sqad]

I agree with the lovable ummmm, there are no guarantees in this life.......you pays yer money and you take yer chance.

Same for everyone.........they are the rules of the game.

[mrs_overall]

As has been said, take it one step at a time, but make sure you enjoy yourself.

[Sqad]

I see....."one step at a a time" as a popular advice:

What is "one step at a time?"

What is the first step, second step third........and so on?

[mrs_overall]

Sqad, it depends on which dance it is

[Khandro]

Are you sure he isn't married - have you seen where he lives yet? You could avoid by being hurt in this way at some future time.

[Sqad]

Mrs_O.....LOL......I just wondered which step "undoing her blouse" came under, I would hate to be too presumptuous.

[andy-hughes]

Hi momcj, little to add to the previous sound advice.

It's perfectly understandable that you are worried, and indeed a little frightened to take the 'dating' step again.

One thing to bear in mind - all experience, even bad experience, helps make us who we are.

This time your eyes are open, and you have no expectations, so at this stage, you have nothing to lose.

it would be a shame if a past experience ruined a future one - so although it feels a little scary, allow yourslf to feel a little thrilled at the same time.

Best of luck - let us know how you get on.

[mrs_overall]

"...undoing the blouse...."

oooh Sqad, i have come over all unneccessary now!

[Sqad]

Mrs_O...with me my love the full treatment is available........;-)

The "old fashioned" method of courting............with a few extras thrown in.

[pizza]

Hi momcj don't look at this as a relationship, you have just met this guy like you said out of the blue enjoy it for what it is don't look back at your past relationship that can cloud your future x
It's easy to get emotionally involved as well, you like a guy he likes you, just try and have some fun you deserve it x don't wear your heart on your shoulder

[momcj]

thats me problem 'pizza' i do wear me heart on me sleeve. thanxs for all the advice guys x

[momcj]

p.s i hear u all i just need to chill - i will try

[shuv73]

Be honest

[boxtops]

I wouldn't assume he's fixed up elsewhere (as Khandro suggests) - just play it cool and enjoy being with him. We have to take risks, that what life's about - you can't shut yourself away just in case another relationship doesn't work out some time in the future. Life's for living - go for it!

[momcj]

No i know the truth about his personal life, because he works and is friends wiv my best freind. 'shuv73' what do u mean be honest? tell him my insecuities? wont that make him run a mile?