Life changing matters...

[cubic999]

Hi Answerbank users!,
I am in situation and would like some inpartial opinions,
I am 29yr old male who lives in South London, I own my own flat which I have paid half off over a 10 year period, I drive and work for TFL in a steady well paid job. I am currentley dating a girl who lives in Georgia - America we met two years ago when she was 19yrs old now she's 21years old.

Over in Georgia she lives with her bible belt uncle in a very unkept run down house also in this house lives her older singer with two very kids. At present my girlfriend is studying at college but hasnt decided her major she wants to become an actress but knows this is a far cry from reality so is contemplating nursing as a secure field to work in. However she can change her mind quickly. At present over the two years of knowing her she has come to visit and stay with me every year for long periods of time in that time I have catered for her needs, entertainned her taken her sightseeing introduced her to my family and made her feel like this is her home just as much as mine...
However when discussing who will eventually moves she is adament it should be me, however she has no home to call her own, is still studying and has no idea how I would migrate over there and yet thinks I should move over and live with her in a house I could purchase selling my flat here...However this seems to be a bit of a dodgy manouvere to make in the current world climate and I have no way of getting a good job there as my job is not skilled/professional i work in logistics.

Also over here in the UK i have a lot of support from my mother and sister financially who live by locally and always help, yet her mother has disowned her and lives with her boyfriend and her father dead.
Can someone please give me their take on this situation am I right to think I should not be the one moving and it should be her since im established here and she has no idea how I could come to america and no home to house us as a couple who live alone, (I refuse to regress and live with anyones parents hence moving away from mine at 20years old).
Thank you so much all

[EvianBaby]

Could you post a photo of yourself. Might answer will vary depending on it.

[craft1948]

LOL LOL.............like you'd get a green card......

[cubic999]

That is a pathetic childish answer.

[marval]

I think you know the answer, if you have doubts it is a no.

[cubic999]

and I was referring to the "post a picture" anwser,

Who wouldn't have doubts when your with someone you love but they cant give back as much as you can because of a situation but want you to take a leap of faith,

[EvianBaby]

Thank you. Welcome to Chatterbank.

Go.

[Baldric]

Welcome to AB,
if she can't afford to keep you in some degree of luxury, don't do it, you know it makes sense!

[cubic999]

yes I am not prepared to serve fast food through a drive through just to say I have a job, I may not be a big shot here but atleast I work in a dignified job paying slightley above the average for London.

[bednobs]

for her to come here and work you would need to get married

[craft1948]

What part of you won't get a green card don't you understand? You have said yourself that you have no discernable professional skills so the good old US of A won't want you.

[gness]

A drive through worker is not necessarily undignified. That's not very nice.
You should be prepared to do anything for true love. I couldn't eat tripe though, having said that.

[cubic999]

I understand every part of green card I know I have no transferrable skills to the USA, and that means the only other way for me to get there even If I was going contemplat moving would be marriage.
You don't have to be patronising and rude jeeez calm down.

[cubic999]

drive through worker was just an example, I am prepared to do anything for true love but not live on the streets when clearly she has a home to move to here and I wouldnt even be asking her for any money I never do.

[craft1948]

Marriage to a US citizen does not guarantee you a green card. One of my colleagues, who has a first class degree in Electronic Engineering married an American girl. After living here they decided to head to the US............he couldn't get a work permit.

[cubic999]

so even if I wanted to move there and had safety and a reassurance of a home I couldnt because it's so tricky. ok that's all I needed to here and I defintley didnt get a first in my degree or in engineering of any sort.

[NoMercy]

She's 21 - I doubt you'll be her one true love for the rest of her life.

Why give up everything and move 5000 miles for someone who has clearly exhibited a complete inflexibility towards you and will probably want to date other men in a few years' time?

[evedawn]

Having fallen in love (and married) an Englishman and moved to uk to be with him I can tell you that PRACTICALITY is what needs to
Win hands down. In other words - where will u get the most stability and job prospects etc.... So if I were u ... I'd tell her to open up her eyes and be practical. USA is not the best place for you by the sounds of it.

[evedawn]

In other words you are not being unreasonable.

[cubic999]

no I dont think I am, thanks

[Dee Sa]

if you decide to go Stateside and only you can decide that, then do not sell your home here, rent it out so that if it all goes pear shaped up there you have a home to come back to and you dont have to start all again at square one.I dont think this girl is mature enough to make plans for the future at present time next time you visit make your own enquiries as to housing etc and I agree with others who tell you getting a green card is not easy and you would have to be married first.
I think deep down you know this is not going to work and I know its easy for me to say but try dating a young lady who already lives here, I have quite a few American friends but I find them on a whole to be quite selfish and they certainly would not go the extra mile for you.