"Old man sees a young man leave the gents without washing, and tells him: "When I was in the army, they taught us always to wash after going to the toilet."
Young man replies: "Well, when I was in the navy, they taught us not to pee on our hands."
When I worked in the UAE my good pal (from fcukin 'ull), was in the Horse & Jockey pub toilet having a slash. A Yank, (he hated Americans and always referred to them as Septics) said "Did your momma not teach you to wash your hands after going to the toilet."
Quick as a flash Rabie said "No, our ma taught us not to piss on our fingers".
I pissed all over mine laughing.