ChatterBank11 mins ago
Oops moments
A prisoner’s wife goes to the jail and says to the warden.
“Sir, please offer my husband an easier job in jail, he didn’t kill anybody.”
The warden says “He’s only washing the dishes, why is that so hard?”
“The idiot told me he has to dig a tunnel.” She replied.
Gary goes home drunk one night with a friend to show him his new house.
“Try to be quiet. I don’t want my wife to wake up.”
“Here it is...this is the kitchen...this is the living room, that’s the bathroom and this is the bedroom. That one in the bed is my wife and the other one is me.”
A man took his car to the garage for a repair as every time he turned a corner, he heard a loud clunking noise.
The mechanic took out the car and tested it turning right then left and then right again.
He returned to the garage and told the man he had fixed the noise.
"What was the problem" asked the man.
"Easy", replied the mechanic "It just needed that bowling bowl taking out of your boot."
A woman is talking to an operator at the exchange and says “I have been trying to ring 0800 1930 for several days now and cannot get through".
The operator asks "Where did you obtain this number?"
"It was on the front door of the Travel Agency."
"Ah" said the operator “I think that you will find that that is their opening hours."
A phone call came to a school.
“My daughter can’t come to school today.”
“Alright, but what’s the relation between you and the student?”
“ This is my mother speaking.”
A woman went into the local pet shop the other day and asked the attendant if she could by a goldfish.
The assistant asked "Would you like an aquarium?”
She replied "It doesn’t matter what its star sign is."
“Sir, please offer my husband an easier job in jail, he didn’t kill anybody.”
The warden says “He’s only washing the dishes, why is that so hard?”
“The idiot told me he has to dig a tunnel.” She replied.
Gary goes home drunk one night with a friend to show him his new house.
“Try to be quiet. I don’t want my wife to wake up.”
“Here it is...this is the kitchen...this is the living room, that’s the bathroom and this is the bedroom. That one in the bed is my wife and the other one is me.”
A man took his car to the garage for a repair as every time he turned a corner, he heard a loud clunking noise.
The mechanic took out the car and tested it turning right then left and then right again.
He returned to the garage and told the man he had fixed the noise.
"What was the problem" asked the man.
"Easy", replied the mechanic "It just needed that bowling bowl taking out of your boot."
A woman is talking to an operator at the exchange and says “I have been trying to ring 0800 1930 for several days now and cannot get through".
The operator asks "Where did you obtain this number?"
"It was on the front door of the Travel Agency."
"Ah" said the operator “I think that you will find that that is their opening hours."
A phone call came to a school.
“My daughter can’t come to school today.”
“Alright, but what’s the relation between you and the student?”
“ This is my mother speaking.”
A woman went into the local pet shop the other day and asked the attendant if she could by a goldfish.
The assistant asked "Would you like an aquarium?”
She replied "It doesn’t matter what its star sign is."
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