Where do you start?

[divegirl]

I've read a couple of posts on here lately that wonder how on earth one can bare their soul in such a public way...

Well ignoring that, I would like to ask if you could or indeed needed to, start your life again where would you begin?

Let me explain. I have come to the realisation that I am surplus to my children's needs...lets face it they are 20 and 15 [and I am 43] and I am a inconvenience! I have been a single parent for 12 years, I have so to speak, given my all but am no longer required!
College? A man? I don't have many mates...and even less friends... So, what would you do?

Lisa x

[snags]

''I have come to the realisation that I am surplus to my children's needs''

I seriously doubt that. Things have just 'shifted' as they've got older.

[Tilly2]

Surely the fifteen year old still needs you, divegirl.

[Psybbo]

Sorry, you're wrong, you children will always need you xx

[Zacs-Master]

I think your children would be shocked to here you speak like this. They may not need you to do anything physical for them but mentally they will need you for as long as you're around.

[erin-x]

Awww Lis! I still need my mum and i'm 22 in a couple of weeks! You're definitely not surplus... xxx

[bednobs]

i think i would probably start by increasing my social activities, and see where that led

[divegirl]

True Snags, but if it involves conversation then I am not needed lol. I just feel a bit lost I suppose, being a single parent must truly be the worst job in the world.

Don't get me wrong, I am proud of my kids but as they have gotten older.... I want to know what I am supposed to do! Just feeling a little lost lol

Lisa x

[ummmm]

I don't think she meant it like that. 20 year olds and 15 year olds are busy doing their own thing.

What interests do you have? If you go to college you could make some good friends. Win win...

[divegirl]

Bugger you lot....where do you all come from???????????????

[ummmm]

They weren't there when I started typing either...

[mccfluff]

you still need your mum, just in diff ways but, maybe its time to start some interests outside of home, make some new friends, renew old friednships?

[Zacs-Master]

Start diving again?

[divegirl]

posted too soon!

It doesn't help that the daughter would rather talk to a brick wall than me most of the time lol

I'm just pretty shy and the thought of having to make a new life away form the kids I have spent the last 12 years bringing up scares the life out of me :0(

[sherrardk]

When the things started school in September I felt a bit redundant and I am still looking for something fulfilling to do. Whilst I am married, himself works long hours and I don't know many people (just a couple from the school run). I find myself bored out of my head a lot of the time (not bored enough to clean the house properly though). I can't really commit to anything much either as I have to be round if one of them is ill and for the school holidays. Hope you find something that suits (and I shall follow this looking for any tips or hints to fill my time).

[NoMercy]

Concentrate on yourself by having long baths, lovely country walks, accept all invitations (even if it's just a Sunday morning coffee with a colleague), have your hair done, a manicure and pedicure, eat really healthy delicious food and take every opportunity to be silly and enjoy yourself. x :)

[boxtops]

It might be time to find a new route for yourself, though, lisa - even though you'd still be there for your kids. I got a new job when I was 50 - moved to a new town - like you I'd been single for a long time - made new friends. Reinvent yourself, I did!

[ummmm]

What about some short courses to start with?

[bednobs]

have you thought about fostering? Do you have the space. Foster children would certainly need you

[divegirl]

Ummm...you got it right...I know my kids need me.... but not like they did, especially not the daughter!

I guess I feel a little vulnerable at the thought!

[Psybbo]

In a few years time they will be consulting you non-stop, 15-25 they are only finding themselves