Emissions...
She turned to Mr. Bush and explained, "Mr. President, please accept my
There was once a very prim and proper older lady who had a problem with passing wind. Since she came from a generation when people didn't even talk about this kind of problem it took a long time for her to seek help. Finally, however, she was persuaded to consult her family doctor.
After she filled out all the proper forms and had waited about 20 minutes in the waiting room the doctor called her into his room, leaned back in his chair, folded his hands into a steeple and asked her how he could help.
"Doctor," she said, "I have a very bad wind problem. Yesterday afternoon I had lunch with the Lord Mayor and his wife and had six, um, er, ahhh ... silent wind emissions. Last night I had dinner with the Vicar and his wife and had four silent wind emissions. Then, while sitting in your waiting room I had five silent wind emissions! Doctor, you've got to help me! What can we do?"
"Well," said the doctor raising his voice a little, "I think the first thing we're going to do is give you a hearing test."