Control Freaks...

[mazie]

Are they common? or limited to the few? I'm an absolute control freak and hate it. I'm a lousy passenger. I hate flying. I can't delegate, and if a job needs doing, I have to do it. :o( I'm so organised, I scare myself...So a solution is needed?

Any more out there?

[SlackAlice]

Relax and breeeaaathe

[mazie]

I do all that Alice....

[woofgang]

If you really hate it then you can change. Change isn't easy but its possible.

[lardhelmet]

I think they are very common. We've got loads of them at work

[mazie]

It's really hard to change after so many years of having to be in control Woof... But, I know you're right

[LyndaB]

I'm the complete opposite. I'm a great passenger and I love flying. I would leave everything to someone else if I thought I would get away with it. And if I was organised, I would be DANGEROUS!

[mazie]

I'm not an oppressive control freak, it's only my life I have to be in control of

[Barmaid]

There is being insecure in letting others have control and then there is being a control freak. Big difference.

I married a control freak. Sadly. But thankfully now divorced. He wanted to control EVERY aspect of my life. My career, my friends, my attire, our food, yada yada yada. He checked my diary, my phone, went through my bag. One day I woke up and smelt the coffee. Two years later I told him to sling his hook.

[mazie]

LOL Lynda... I think we are, no matter what our personalities are

[mazie]

Hi BM... It's only my life that I have the problem with, I'm so laid back about everyone else's. Everything in my life is sort of measured, and I have to be in control of that.

[mazie]

I'm not insecure, I'm generally very positive...It's the control of my life that gives me a problem. If someone said jump, I'll catch you. I couldn't do that. I think that's a bit sad

[Barmaid]

that's probably why I don't give a **** about anything now. I had 17 years of being controlled. Now, I like to know dates and stuff simply so that they don't get forgotten. Mr BM says I am a control freak. I remind him that actually that is nothing more than organisation - knowing who is doing what, where and when. Control freakery is something quite different and quite disturbing.

[magsmay]

mazie -surely everyone should be in total control of their own lives? What you can't cope with is delegation, a feeling that if you don't do something then it won't get done properly -or putting yourself in the hands of a third party (flying or passenger) makes you anxious as you lack confidence in the abilities of others -don't pigeon-hole yourself into the 'control freak' box but list what makes you anxious and then work on each individual thing to try and improve how you feel.

[mazie]

So.... Hopefully, I'm just an organised sort? I have no desire to control anyone or anything....It's just the standards I lay down on myself....and the not being in control in the car, aircraft etc that really bothers me.

[mazie]

Spot on mags....I always thought that made me a control freak...The thing is I have to have my destiny in my own hands, if it's not, I'm not happy

[Barmaid]

I don't think that makes you a control freak, Mazie, it just makes you organised and in charge of what you are doing. I am sure when I am joshing with Mr BM i make him give me his diary dates and "look just fluffing do it, cos I am in control freak mode". I don't really mean that, I just need to know who is doing what and when, otherwise it gets missed. There is a difference between control freak and organisation.

I was a PA to someone who is now one of my closest friends, he would never say I was a control freak because he thought I was always very laid back, however, he would always say that from a planning and diary point of view I would know precisely where anyone needed to be at anyone time.

[magsmay]

if it bothers you that much mazie CBT is a good way of helping you develop self-acceptance and work out why you think and act he way you do and suggest coping strategies -there are loads of self hep books including CBT for dummies which is actually a very good starter book

[mazie]

I think Barmaid summed it up.... It's my life that has to be organised...I don't put down any bounderies for others ( I remind my kids from time to time about things) I don't like my life being out of my control...Phew. thanks BM xxxx

Although I hate the passenger thing, I still do it. The thing I have to control is me..

[society]

Not a control freak but I can't stand untidiness. I clean my my kitchen and bathroom everyday, wash the floors and all.

[mazie]

I've come to the conclusion society, that it's being in control of my own life..and cleaning and baking when I want...and not letting anyone else do the things that matter. So, I'm cured :o)

ps I'm the same