New potential bf?

[smee.tracey]

I've been chatting to a guy for a while now and he's coming here tomorrow for a cup of tea! What do I wear? Yes, I'm safe, he's a copper and I invited him. He was the patrol PC who answered the call to my witness call. He's apparently sporty, for me - think Dawn French! HELP QUICK!!

[The Tiggster]

Main tip smee.tracey - RELAX !! If he didn't like you he wouldn't be coming round for a cup of tea!

I'd go for the smart, relaxed "I haven't dolled myself up to the 9's" look.

Good luck, let us know how it goes!

Tiggs. x

[smee.tracey]

Tiggs, I don't do nerves, but I am beside myself. If he is expecting Claudia Schiffer he's in for a HUGE dissapointment. I know I'm a beautiful person etc?! lol. Just out of practice. Also, either do big slob out clothes or v dressed up - which?

[twiglet4frog]

have u been watching the bill tonight or something??

[smee.tracey]

Uh?

[cat woman]

Hi smee.tracey, Just be yourself, wear what ever you feel comfy in, he is coming to see you not what you are wearing.

Enjoy your self and I hope everything goes really well for you.  Good Luck.........Fingers crossed

Best Wishes  cat woman.   :-)

[jno]

smart casual. No need for handcuffs, he'll have his own.

[smee.tracey]

Thank you catwoman and tiggster. It hasn't calmed my nerves but I'm now working to the soddit theory (hope that isn't edited). Que sera sera (sp) etc. Or should I be making an effort? God I sound girly, truth is, I haven't done this since my son was still inside me (5.5 years ago). You see the problem?

[dmsjps]

Hi smee! Just be yourself because your personality is what he's been attracted to in the first place. And as for clothes, well no, don't slob it, but don't do yourself up or anything. Everyone has 'in-between-clothes', just wear those. And even though I'm a woman and I don't fancy Dawn French, she may be big, but she is still very pretty. Besides, who are the people closest to you at the end of the day (friends/husbands/wives)? They're the people we love and care about because of who they are, not because of what they look like. I fancied my husband when we first met, but I didn't think he was drop-dead gorgeous (and let's face it, how many people are? You see all the stars on TV and in the papers and they look beautiful, but most people who've met them say that when you get close-up they're not). Anyway, I wouldn't swap mine for anyone and as long as you get along together, you'll be fine. Let us know how it goes.

[Andy Boz]

He's interested in you, not your wardrobe. He's coming for a cuppa and a chat, not a full blown liason. Just see him as a mate, and enjoy yourself. He is probably as nervous as you.

[gingerflaps]

just wear a pair of jeans and a nice blouse, with some heels. and always make sure u keep eye contact with him when u talk to him.....good luck!!!  (mmmmm, police... i like the uniforms..lol)

[smee.tracey]

Well he came here last night and we drank tea. We had a lovely time chatting and laughing. He's rung me again tonight to ask if it was ok to do it again sometime. He's a REALLY lovely chap.
He's also married with 3 children!!
He didn't exactly spin me the 'my wife doesn't understand me' line, but as good as.
Anyway, it was practice I suppose! Hey ho, that's it for another 5 years
By the way, I am in NO WAY about to enter into an extra marital but he would make a cracking friend, how do I let him know? I suspect he would cool with that, or am I being incredibly naive? I have lots of platonic (both ways) male friends so it's not a problem for me.

As always, HELP!

[The Tiggster]

Oh dear, smee.tracey that's not a good situation to be in. I've been there & we agreed in the beginning we'd keep it platonic & just be buddies. After 3 weeks of meeting in public places like coffee houses, the chancing git suggested "meeting somewhere a little more intimate" I told him no & told him only to call me if he wanted to be friends & nothing more.

I've never heard from him again & realised he was just playing on my vunerable side. I am now happily married & know I would be deeply upset if I found out my husband was meeting in secret a new female friend that I didn't know about.

I am not telling you what to do, just my experiences of a similar situation. If you really want to be friends, suggest he comes into your circle of friends, as he may be genuinely lonely & in need of a new scene. I'd suggest asking him to a nightout with your current friends & if he accepts he may be interested in being just friends & it will be less awkward.

Use your sensible head & good luck! x

[smee.tracey]

Thanks Tiggs. As I said, I have absolutely no intention of having any kind of affair with this man, nice as he may be.
He rang again tonight, my son answered the phone and when I came into the room they were chatting away like old friends, which I find a bit disconcerting. He said he will ring in the week to see if he can come round for a cuppa, I think I'll have to sit him down then and explain the situation clearly so there can be no misunderstandings. I just hope I can avoid hurting his feelings. I'm not known for my tact at times!!
Wish me luck, Tracey

[Andy008]

Assuming you have the figure to match, a short skirt, fake tan, skimpy top should be fine. Nice one.

[smee.tracey]

Tiggs, he's rung AGAIN tonight. I've told him that there is no way I'm interested in any kind of relationship where my son cannot run up to the man in the street and be welcomed without having to look over his shoulder first! He said that's fine and wants to be friends.
I've left the ball in his court but to be honest I'd rather he forgot he ever met us. Tricky situation given his job.
My son has never had an 'uncle' and he's not about to start now. Mum says I need a miracle not a man!
How did you meet your husband? Does he have any single friends? lol

[smee.tracey]

He hasn't rung tonight (yet)!
Maybe he's got the message, hope so. Shame though, he's a lovely chap to have as a friend!

[The Tiggster]

Hey tracey, sorry you've seem to have a rough couple of days I am sure you will be a stronger person at the end of it all. You have your head screwed on the right way & your son is your top priority which I can tell. However it would be nice if you could meet your "miracle" and share this with your son.

I was in my early 30's when I met my husband, I thought I'd never meet Mr Right, especially on a drunken night out. I was in fancy dress after a Christmas office party & went to a club where the tacky old cliche "our eyes met accross the dance floor" happened. We were engaged 3 months later, married 1 year & 3 months later & that was 3� years ago. We are also halfway through "cooking" our 1st baby (I'm 20 weeks pregnant). My single (and some married!) friends ask if I can clone him as he is 1 in a million. If I do manage to advance science & clone him I will let you know!

All the very best my-dear & keep me up to date with Mr "nearly perfect, but not quite the right one"!

Tiggs. x

P.S. remember - you gotta kiss a few frogs before prince charming comes along!

[smee.tracey]

Tiggs, why can't I give more than 3 *? If I had my way I'd give you the heavens! Soppy eh? It is just so good to be able to talk to a complete stranger who offers not only sound, unjudgmental advice but also support.
The couple of friends I told recoiled in horror when I said he was married and some, I'm sure, already decided I was the other woman.
To be honest, it will be a relief if he doesn't call me again. I don't think he will.
Anyway, keep me updated on the cloning, a couple of my friends have husbands who should be available on NHS!
Fantastic news about your cooking. My 5 year old has caused me joy and worry in almost equal measure since before he was born but he's worth every sleepless night.
Tracey x

[The Tiggster]

No stars needed tracey & I am glad you think my posts are of benefit to you. I think it is better to get some impartial advice than have friends trying to not offend you when you chat to them about a problem.

I will subscribe to this question in case you want to chat some more, but may not check my e-mails every night.

Hope you are good & that your wee lad is keeping your mind of the man problems!

Take care. x

[The Tiggster]

How you doing this weekend Tracey? Is no news from you good news?

Tiggs x