Daily Mail Old Pervs Editorial Board Meeting

[joggerjayne]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2332534/Denise-Van-Outen-adds-sex-appeal-proceedings-wears-racy-dress-BGT-live-show.html

Daily Mail Editorial Board Meeting ...

"Hey, lads, we've got some photos of Denise Van Outen walking down the road in a black dress"

"That's not very interesting"

"No, it's really dull"

"But you can see her nipples through her dress"

All: "Yaaaaaayyyyy!!!"

"Right, let's publish them. How many have we got"

"Three"

"Aren't they all a bit similar, though?"

"Yeah, but you can see her nipples in all of them"

All: "Yaaaaaaaayyyy!!!!!"

"Okay lads, lets publish all three of them"

"So, has anyone got any ideas for drawing attention to her nipples, while pretending that we're talking about fashion?"

"How about a caption saying ... Denise, err ... 'stands out' ?"

All: "Ha ha ha ha ha ... !"

"Nice one, Trev. Let's go with Denise's Nipples, sorry I mean, Denise, Stands Out"

(more laughter)

"Err, excuse me ... ?"

"Oh god, what do you want, Mavis?"

"Well, as we so often take the moral high ground over other people's pictures, I just wondered if these nipple pictures are a bit, err, blatant? a bit demeaning?"

"You're fired. Now piss off"

"Right lads, get those pictures published online, as soon as you can. Okay, has anyone got any more photos of Princess Kate's arse?"

[2sp_]

They really are obsessed with women's nipples!

Scroll down to the bottom of this one -

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2332406/Chloe-Madeley-shows-tiny-low-slung-exercise-outfit.html

At least the Sun is blatant about showing a bit of boob.

[mikey4444]

Ah ..........another vitally important news report that I missed in the DM...I really must get down to the newsagents !

Very funny Joggs, I enjoyed this, but I fear that it is almost impossible to satirize the DM...how would DM readers know if you did ?

[joggerjayne]

LOL

They are a bit obsessed.

[Baldric]

And the problem is ?
;o)

[joggerjayne]

You're right, mikey.

In fact, they wouldn't even read it, because there's no "nips pic".

[joggerjayne]

Hey, Balders x

[emmie]

don't they have a 5 or 6 page feature on tuesday on health, and other articles that are of interest. i don't look at womens nipples, they are of no interest to me whatsoever, and who started the nonsense of naked women in newspaper, don't think it was the DM, and you can find much more misogyny in any so called lads mags,

[youngmafbog]

And?

[society]

I think she looks nice. Gravity sure taking a toll on those jugs!

[joggerjayne]

Yes, she does look nice, society.

And obviously, nobody would be so mean as to trawl through their archives and find a picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt wearing the same dress.

Back to the Editorial Board Meeting ...

" ... 'ang on, lads, gimme 'arf a mo"

"Boss, I've found those old photos of Britney Spears getting out of the back of that car without any ..."

"Oi, shut it, you tit, I'm trying to concentrate"

(tap tap, tappity, tap ... Click)

" ... 'ere you go, boys ... J-Love in the same bleedin' dress"

(more laughter)

"Right, let's put this one right underneath. We'll teach that old tart Outen, you can't get away with a copy cat dress, not when we're watching you, lol"

" 'Ere, boss, that tie of yours, I'm sure Gavin's got one just like it"

"You're fired. Now piss off"

(etc, etc)

[Sqad]

Oh! dear.

Do you want people to read your newspaper?
Do you want people to buy your new car.
Do you want people to watch your news programme.

Then have a good looking bird showing her t1ts and n1pples

Simples.

[joggerjayne]

News programmes ???

[Sqad]

Yes...TV....weather...nagga somebody and the Sky weather wench..can't remember her name........just her body. Sports Sky...Jackie beltrain or something........got the picture JJ?

[snags]

And here are some pics of Russel Brand's nips for the ladeeez:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2332478/Russell-Brand-looks-hippie-Hollywood-enjoys-yoga-blonde.html

[joggerjayne]

Okay okay, sqad ... I've got the picture.

I can scarcely move for nipples in my face.

Okay no, wrong image altogether.

[joggerjayne]

Oh no, snags, that is just SO wrong.

I feel a bit queasy.

[anotheoldgit]

joggerjayne

And you find this 'non-news story' funny, that says more about you than anyone could invent about the Daily Mail.

/// "Yeah, but you can see her nipples in all of them" ///

Not a mention or indeed even an image of any nipples.

/// Daily Mail Old Pervs Editorial Board Meeting ///

/// "You're fired. Now piss off" ///

/// has anyone got any more photos of Princess Kate's arse?" ///

Mmmm Nice language I don't think, you do your sex no favours.

Totally made up scenario, and expect a knock on your door by a lawyer on behalf of the Daily Mail.

[mikey4444]

Jogggs...seems that some people don't recognise satire when they see it !

[emmie]

perhaps some bright spark can do one on the Guardian.

[daffy654]

I hardly think the DM would be able to sue over this jokey post AOG! They do make a very big thing about women's bodies in their paper, then try and pretend they have the moral high ground and are trying to get internet porn banned. hahaha