Interesting Definitions

[marval]

School: A place where Dad pays and Son plays.

Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.

Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

Divorce: Future tense of Marriage.

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.

Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

Father: A banker provided by nature.

Criminal: A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise

[excelsior-1]

like those

[zebo]

Nurse definition brings back painful memories of being in hospital before the birth of my first child, I'd had a restless night the night before. Near lights out I told the nurse on duty that I'd had a few twinges, she gave me a couple of sleeping tablets and I asked her at what time would they start inducing me.
Oh, you'll have had it by morning, you're well on your way.
So why have you just given me two sleeping tablets?
Oh, sh!t!

It was a long night, being wakened at the height of every contraction, no chance of breathing to control it.

[marval]

Oh you poor thing Zebo, what an awful experience. The last thing you needed was to be asleep while you gave birth.