Feeling Really Awful Now.

[Traci66]

Today I felt I had to let my partners ex partner know what she has been getting up to. Daughter walked out on her son and hardly saw him for two years, late last year / early this year she was awarded custody of her son, whilst he was not in her care she went fully into the drug and party scene, before she got him back she had to undergo drug and alcohol testing, drugs test came back clean, alcohol borderline.

At the time I was asked by Cafcass for my opinion on whether I thought she would be suitable as guardian, at the time I said I had my concerns but if she was to be closely supervised by Social Services and have to undertake regular testing for drugs and alcohol then I could not really see a problem.

During the time she has had custody she has sent him to other people on a regular basis, even taking him out of school to do so so that she can go out and party. I have tackled her about this on numerous occassions and she has always denied being involved with drugs again. A fortnight ago she went on holiday and I saw proof that whilst there she was taking drugs, when I tackled her about it she made the excuse she was on holiday and she doesn't do it here.

This morning I saw proof again that she is indeed continuing to use drugs, last night she was taking mkat, I phoned her ex partner (who is not the child's dad, but until last year thought that he was and has parental responsibility with her awarded by the court) and told him that if he didn't do something about it such as take the son and refuse to give him back, then I would get in touch with social services.

I am worried for my grandson and as my daughter is moving into a place of her own next week (she's been sharing until now) this has increased my concern. I am fully prepared to ring who ever I have to to ensure the safety of my grandson even if it means him being taken into temporary care.

I feel I have done the right thing but it doesn't make me feel good, would you have done the same?

[Mamyalynne]

I feel that you have done the right thing - it is not a snap decision, many chances have been given over this time. The child's safety and well-being are paramount.

((HUG))

[flump1]

Traci, I have done something similar, and would do so again in a heartbeat if a child's welfare was at risk. Chin up, one day she may even thank you xx

[Traci66]

Thank you both, it really hurts, but my grandson is my main concern.

[chelle7272]

Traci I also have done somethiing similar and felt truly hurt that i had to but as has been said it is about a childs wellbeing. You have given your daughter a lot of chances to prevent it coming to this, so I think you have done the right thing, yes.
Best wishes xx

[2sp_]

You really have done the right thing. How lucky your Grandson is having you looking out for him, it doesn't seem that his mother can at the moment.

A relative of mine had the same issue with her granddaughter. Her own son (the girl's father) died before she was born and the mother went off the rails with drugs. The little girl was lucky to have a Granny like you, who fought for her through the courts. She now has full custody of her granddaughter and she is coming on well.

You have done all you can for your daughter, time to concentrate on your grandson.

Good luck. xx

[Traci66]

Thanks again, I'm starting to feel a bit calmer now.

[pixie373]

You had no choice. You've done what you can, and it's not helped. I think some outside support is a very good idea now. I would do the same, if necessary. X

[Barmaid]

Traci, my heart goes out to you. What a horrid decision to have to make. However, it seems to me that that little boy NEEDS someone looking out for him and he is very lucky that Granny Traci is doing so.

You have done precisely the right thing - have no qualms about calling Social Services if you have to.

I'd have done it.