Obsession At The Start Of A Relationship

[Scarlett]

Have you experienced this? When you first got together with someone special (maybe your OH) did you need to see them constantly, think about them all the time, put them on a pedestal? And if so, when did you experience the "come down", if at all?!

[Sqad]

Oh! God yes........30 or 40 times in my lifetime.

\\\\when did you experience the "come down", if at all?!\\\

depended.......when the sex didn't excite me or satisfy my as it had done initially, then that heralded the "come down" as you put it.

It happens to us all.

[Prudie]

OMG sqad!! What you describe is normal falling in love isn't it? That feeling lasts maybe a week or maybe for years, it depends on how the relationship develops. At least half the time it's the object of your affection who comes down off you.

[Scarlett]

Did the sex invariably decline, Sqad? Do you think this is also a normal thing, that sex is more intense and frequent at the start, but gradually plateaus? Or stops completely?

[Sqad]

Scarlett...of course it did.........

Basic stuff, then blindfolded, anal, cybersex, toys, games, menage a trois...............then i am afraid one settles down to a restricted and just adequate OR...no sex at all.

[Scarlett]

HAHAHAHA! Brilliant. Anal.

[Scarlett]

Any thoughts on why that might be? Is it that what goes up must come down? Or perhaps nature feels it's done its bit with the initial flurry of hormones, and you must have made a baby by now!

[tonyav]

Well sqad is very anal about anal !.

[Sqad]

Scarlett....no it is nothing clever.....although when andy-hughes sees this thread, he will pontificate...........it's just boredom...knowing what is coming next and no longer elicits an exciting response.

[piggynose]

six years in, and i still cant keep my hands off my spanish girlfriend, is this obsession?

[Sqad]

piggy....the key word in your post is "girlfriend."

Marry her or live with her and your hands will soon get bored......;-)

[ummmm]

Wow....must be really rubbish at it if you get bored that easily!!

[piggynose]

dr sqad, we are both anti-marriage+ kids.
previous relationships have lost the spark after about a month.

[Sqad]

piggy....LOL......by the sounds of things, you haven't done badly.

[Scarlett]

Piggy- may I ask your ages?

[piggynose]

of course you can scarlett, i'm 54, and my novia is 50

[Scarlett]

Thanks, oh that's really good that you have the same outlook regarding marriage and children. I think that the issues are different for couples in their 20s and 30s though, especially if they're not sure whether they want to have kids or not.

[sandyRoe]

When someone puts you on a pedestal it makes it easier for them to see your feet of clay.

[piggynose]

thats a tad profound sandy

[sandyRoe]

And when you put someone on a pedestal it's easier to see their bunions and corns.
Love is blind, it's said, but it doesn't take long for the blindfold to slip. :-(

[Eve]

I'm not an obsessive kind of person, am quite happy not in a relationship and like my own space.

I think everyone is different, some like the thrill and passion and all that, some are happy with a good partnership regardless of the sex side of things, I imagine some people just don't want to be alone - whatever the relationship or feel they can't not be in a relationship or for religious/cultural or other reasons (staying together for the kids or through serious illness etc...), though I think an obsessive kind of relationship would be hard to maintain with real life and responsibilities without something else giving somewhere or a potential big fall.

I have noticed, when seeing others be all almost fantasy world about someone at the start of a relationship that it is more likely to fall apart, often with a lot of drama.