Why....

[Lorzy Lor]

Hey, hoping some one can give me some advice on this.

I'm 31 yr old mum, ok looking, and work out so my body is good. However I am stupidly insecure about other girls/women. To the point where I'm actually stopping seeing a guy I like as he likes these Facebook pages of fit women with amazing bodies. I can't compete with perfection.

The problem is me and I have no right to stop anyone looking at what they want to, but how can I deal with it and stop being so insecure?

Please, any advise greatly appreciated.

[ummmm]

How old is he?

I really don't think that many men are actually into perfection. They might be nice to look at but not the type they want to cuddle up to. Personality plays a more important part in a relationship than whether you're the perfect size 10.

[Hopkirk]

There's no such thing as perfection.

Personally I find these so called 'perfect' models too skinny and boney.

However you sound gorgeous.

[jno]

agree with ummmm, people get together for personality rather than body perfection. (Does every bride you see look like Kate Moss or Marilyn Monroe?)

I say everybody... most do. Avoid the rest.

Not sure about your guy. Mooning over FB pages of fit women seems a little odd to me. What does he want to do with them exactly?

[ummmm]

It's the 'liking' I find odd and a bit childish.

[Sqad]

\\\ I can't compete with perfection. \\

\\but how can I deal with it and stop being so insecure? \\

What you are describing to me is "jealousy."

This to me is an inborn quirk of personality to which i know of no cure.

[woofgang]

what jno says, but also, have you discussed this with the bloke and asked why he likes to moon over those pages? Does he actually compare you with them? How would he react if you started doing the same over the pics of hunky men?

[Lorzy Lor]

He is 28, I guess he's just like most blokes and likes to look at fit birds.
I just want to know how to not let it bother me. Ugh.

[boxtops]

I'd rather he looked at fit women on FB than on-line porn......

[Canary42]

Dump him, he's an @rsehole

[ummmm]

Is it a loving relationship?

[ummmm]

Bit harsh Canary.

[woofgang]

Not all blokes do it. If it bothers you as much as it sounds like it does then it sounds like a dealbreaker for you and if it is then dump him and move on.
For me it would depend on whether its the odd passing glance, either on facebook or in real life, or a hobby as in "I am going to settle down with a beer and the computer and perv at the women"
The first IMO is normal, the second childish.

[ummmm]

Completely agree, woof.

[Canary42]

Sorry ummmm, but that's just my opinion of such shallow blokes.

[ummmm]

Women do the same.

[Lorzy Lor]

I have been treated very badly in the past, numerous times, (haven't we all tho) guess this has made me jealous and insecure. I think I need to ask why he likes these pages..... But I shouldn't ask him not to do something because I don't like it, that would make me controlling.

It's a very new relationship, however he lives a good hour away from me so we chat on Skype and txt and see each other when my son is at his dads.

I can't decide if I should follow my instinct and run, or if this is just me doing an ostrich, and hiding.

[ummmm]

First of all I would ask him to not 'like' the pages. That's just letting the whole of facebook know what you're looking at and is, imo, disrespectful if you're in a relationship, early days or not.

See how he reacts to that.

[Lorzy Lor]

Thank you all for your advice. Much appreciated x

[Canary42]

Follow your instincts Lor, he's far too immature.

[4getmenot]

start looking at inside you. your post was you saying you are ok looking etc how about seeing what inside is like. go out with friends, help someone in need and start realising you dont need to compete with looks.