Adhd?

[pixie373]

My daughter has an assessment on Friday for ADHD. While I realise it exists and can be properly diagnosed by professionals, I also think some parents self-diagnose their children as an excuse (sorry). My daughter is constantly on the go, doesn't stop doing/fidgeting/talking and seems to have no sense of danger at all. She is very nearly 16. I changed her school, but she is just the same, extremely impulsive. She can't budget at all, "borrows" clothes and ruins them and is literally not scared of anything.
Being brutally honest- if she was someone else's child - I'd guess she was spoilt and had a lack of discipline. But I've always been quite strict, especially with manners. And i have 3 others who wouldn't behave like she does.
She is actually frustrated with her own behaviour and has asked for help herself.
would appreciate any ideas or experience, as it can be quite exhausting! Thank you xx

[Sqad]

I am very impressed with the way that you have confronted the problem that you have with your daughter and also have realised that ADHD may well not play a significant part in the behaviour of your daughter.

I am certainly not an expert in this field.

ADHD in my opinion is one of the most overdiagnosed and misdiagnosed in the psychiatric disorders of children................and adults.

Remember......children with professionally diagnosed ADHD may well do well in their twenties and become Barristers, lawyers, doctors and academics in many fields...........although the teenage years may involve a "white knuckle ride " for the parents.

You have, right from the start, a mature and realistic approach to the diagnosis of ADHD and i would wait until her assessment on Friday before you stride out into the AB world of ADHD.

[pixie373]

Thank you, sqad! That's very kind. It's not something I've personally had a lot of dealings with and it does seem to be "bandied around" quite freely. She was fine until just after she started Senior School and since then her behaviour seems more and more excessive. It's hard to explain without it sounding like normal teenage rebellion, but it's actually worrying her, too. I'll see what they say Friday then (assessment has been advised by four of her teachers, independently and an educational psychologist). Thanks.

[Kathyan]

My twin grandsons have recently been diagnosed with adhd. They have another appointment to see the specialist next week. They were quite a handful when they were small but they seem better as they are getting older. The head teacher at their primary school kept saying that they were naughty and also said that they didn't have adhd as they had 'done a test'. The specialist laughed when my daughter told her this and said that whatever the 'test' was, it was wrong! Good luck!

[sherrardk]

Good luck with it all. Thing 1 ticks all the boxes for ADHD but I think she is just spirited and a bit wild (she is not naughty as there is no malice or nastiness). I think some people push to get their children labelled because there can be financial benefits (I only know because I am eligible for DLA and carers allowance for thing 2 (which I wouldn't dream of claiming)) and some parents will see it as getting their kids extra help (a teaching assistant for example), therefore increasing the child's educational chances.

[pixie373]

Thanks kathyan and sherrard. Is very hard to tell, i think. Her teacher at junior school described her character as "crash, bang, wallop"- which it is. But she's much harder to reason with now than when she was younger. I'm not looking for a label or financial help, i just want to find the best way forward from here. Whatever she does or doesn't have, she is going to have to learn to control her impulses somehow. Maybe anger management, etc. I just don't know!

[sherrardk]

Pixie, if she has ADHD then she is entitled to financial help as an adult (her career choices might be limited by her temperament) but it all takes so much time. One of my youngest children is on the special needs register and has a fab teaching assistant for 10 hours a week - I managed to get him on it for when he started school through some knowledge, a lot of googling and sheer bloody mindedness. When I wrote about people doing it for financial gain and extra help in school I wasn't referring to yourself, I was talking from experience (I know of someone who pushed for their child to be classed as ADHD and got all of their driving lessons paid for!) Hopefully the appointment on Friday will set you on the right road to giving you options and the information you need to make choices.

[pixie373]

Thank you, sherr. I do know what you mean. My youngest has sensory processing disorder and autism. His was very obvious, from about 8 months, but took years to diagnose. He got a spiky cushion though:-). He's got better as he's got older so far. Are you going to get your daughter assessed?

[sherrardk]

Not going to get her assessed yet (but will keep it at the back of my mind) think it is just her character, she's just away with the fairies - she claimed last night to have seen Father Christmas's sleigh and insists on picking petals and leaves on the way home from school, chucking them over one of us walking with her and shouting 'Fairy Dust!'. She is frequently referred to as enchanting but everyone agrees they would love to have a Freya but would want to give her back after a couple of hours. It can't be easy for her being a twin and this might be the way she gets to be an individual (the other one has his speech problems to make him different). Good luck with your daughter, x

[pixie373]

Thank you. She sounds a little like my niece- who has a twin brother with autism (and something else, we suspect). I put my daughter's down to middle-child syndrome (as she was for a while) and competition in a big family. Will see what they say on Friday. Thanks and good luck with yours, too x

[sherrardk]

How did it go today?

[pixie373]

Hi sherrard. I think it went well, thanks. They have given me a questionnaire to fill in and send back and one to her school. They haven't given any definite diagnosis yet, but said they can see how impulsive she is and are offering a course called"Short Fuse" and a counsellor lady to take her out for coffee that she can speak to. She's agreed to both. They said they will contact me once the questionnaires are back.
Thanks for asking xx

[sherrardk]

Glad to hear things are moving ahead and that your daughter is so receptive to the plans being put forward.

[Buenchico]

Don't forget that there's lots of support offered by relevant charitable groups. e.g:
http://www.adhdfoundation.org.uk/parent.php
and
http://www.addiss.co.uk/

Also keep an eye on what your daughter eats, to see if there's any correlation with her condition. See 'Diet' here:
http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Attention-deficit-hyperactivity-disorder/Pages/Treatment.aspx

[pixie373]

Thanks, sherr. I'll let you know what they say when they've put the information together.
And thanks, buenchico, i will have a look at those links. She is so on-the-go the whole time, i struggle to get her to eat properly.
x