ChatterBank2 mins ago
I'm Shy, Nerdy And Weird. What Do I Do?
11 Answers
I'm in high school and, like it says above, I'm shy, nerdy and weird. I'm weird because... Well:
1. It helps with my shyness.
2. I only know nerdy jokes that only my friends would get.
I need help. I'm afraid that I've gone the wrong way. That nerdy and weird side of me is just me having some fun. I'm actually a romantic and I'm trying to find a girl to ask out but I haven't found any girl that's not "modern" looking, sweet, actually fun to hang out with and cute. Not hot. Cute. I'm not looking for someone online. Just some help on how a shy guy like me can get girls to show me who they are so that I can finally chose the girl I want to show my romantic side to. What do I do?
1. It helps with my shyness.
2. I only know nerdy jokes that only my friends would get.
I need help. I'm afraid that I've gone the wrong way. That nerdy and weird side of me is just me having some fun. I'm actually a romantic and I'm trying to find a girl to ask out but I haven't found any girl that's not "modern" looking, sweet, actually fun to hang out with and cute. Not hot. Cute. I'm not looking for someone online. Just some help on how a shy guy like me can get girls to show me who they are so that I can finally chose the girl I want to show my romantic side to. What do I do?
Answers
1 to 11 of 11
You sound a bit like I was at your age. I had no idea at the time but in hindsight I now realise I was on the toe if the Autism spectrum. Although I was highly functional intellectual
09:23 Wed 23rd Oct 2013
-- answer removed --
Join clubs to enlarge your range of interests and meet folk. If you see someone you like step outside of your comfort and go make conversation. If things work out ask if she'd like a date, the two of you, to your favourite social event or whatever. If the offer doesn't work out then so long as you didn't spend ages getting emotionally overinvolved beforehand you can shrug it off and wait for someone else to come along soon. With practice knowing what to do/say becomes easier. Expect to have less success initially when you still feel awkward, nearly no one does something well first time, they have to learn social skills same as any other skill.
Well ... there are girls out there like you :)
I got my Geek - a 42 year old guy who loves comics, reading, star wars etc etc .... when we first started hanging out, he just thought I was 'fit/hot (whatever) .. and when he got to know me too, he was amazed that I was a geek too ! turns out, we all have our inner personalities, and then the ones we show everyone else.
Just socialise. try new things. get speaking to people. Only when you are comfortable, will anyone see the true you - then they can start to fall for you !
I got my Geek - a 42 year old guy who loves comics, reading, star wars etc etc .... when we first started hanging out, he just thought I was 'fit/hot (whatever) .. and when he got to know me too, he was amazed that I was a geek too ! turns out, we all have our inner personalities, and then the ones we show everyone else.
Just socialise. try new things. get speaking to people. Only when you are comfortable, will anyone see the true you - then they can start to fall for you !
-- answer removed --
1) Don't show your 'romantic' side too soon or you will scare them off.
2) Don't 'entertain' girls or they will just see you as 'cute' at best and you'll just end up frustrated because they just want to be friends with you, you definitely do not want to be seen as cute/goofy/etc.
3) Do things in your life that you enjoy doing, feel passionate about and that you are proud of. The operative word in that sentence is 'you' - don't worry about what anyone else thinks about the things you enjoy and make you happy.
4) Talk to girls about the things you do in (3), tell them what you do but most importantly WHY you do it - your emotions and motivations for doing them.
5) Ask girls about what they do, and when they tell you try to understand the emotions they feel when doing then, their motivation and what sort of character traits they have - and talk to them about those. Again not the 'what' the 'why' - you will connect with girls, and in fact anybody much better by talking about things like that.
Good luck.
2) Don't 'entertain' girls or they will just see you as 'cute' at best and you'll just end up frustrated because they just want to be friends with you, you definitely do not want to be seen as cute/goofy/etc.
3) Do things in your life that you enjoy doing, feel passionate about and that you are proud of. The operative word in that sentence is 'you' - don't worry about what anyone else thinks about the things you enjoy and make you happy.
4) Talk to girls about the things you do in (3), tell them what you do but most importantly WHY you do it - your emotions and motivations for doing them.
5) Ask girls about what they do, and when they tell you try to understand the emotions they feel when doing then, their motivation and what sort of character traits they have - and talk to them about those. Again not the 'what' the 'why' - you will connect with girls, and in fact anybody much better by talking about things like that.
Good luck.
-- answer removed --
You sound a bit like I was at your age.
I had no idea at the time but in hindsight I now realise I was on the toe if the Autism spectrum. Although I was highly functional intellectually I was completely inept socially.
I had the poor muscle tone often associated with autism resulting in very bad posture. I had appalling low self esteem. I matured very late and had a high voice. Hence I was the antithesis of the football hero.
Guys like me were not cool to fancy especially after I badly crossed the girl who was the head of social manipulation.
There were girls who liked me. Unfortunately I was too inept to realise it. Moreover I got obsessed with just one. Years later I worked out that she really liked me a lot but my complete social ineptitude eventually drove her away.
I was intensely lonely until I was 21. Essentially I gave up hoping to find someone. Then I met mature women (late twenties) who had gone past the attraction to the superficial and were looking for something deeper.
The second one eventually left her Mr Popular party boy husband because she wanted a man who was actually interested in her rather than furthering his own social status. We are still together three decades later.
My wife is a school teacher and as such is trained to recognise certain characteristics in student and eventually explained to me about autism. She actually liked that I was capable of being obsessed with her.
My advice. Be patient. Be yourself. Have fun. Wait for someone to spot you as what they want.
I had no idea at the time but in hindsight I now realise I was on the toe if the Autism spectrum. Although I was highly functional intellectually I was completely inept socially.
I had the poor muscle tone often associated with autism resulting in very bad posture. I had appalling low self esteem. I matured very late and had a high voice. Hence I was the antithesis of the football hero.
Guys like me were not cool to fancy especially after I badly crossed the girl who was the head of social manipulation.
There were girls who liked me. Unfortunately I was too inept to realise it. Moreover I got obsessed with just one. Years later I worked out that she really liked me a lot but my complete social ineptitude eventually drove her away.
I was intensely lonely until I was 21. Essentially I gave up hoping to find someone. Then I met mature women (late twenties) who had gone past the attraction to the superficial and were looking for something deeper.
The second one eventually left her Mr Popular party boy husband because she wanted a man who was actually interested in her rather than furthering his own social status. We are still together three decades later.
My wife is a school teacher and as such is trained to recognise certain characteristics in student and eventually explained to me about autism. She actually liked that I was capable of being obsessed with her.
My advice. Be patient. Be yourself. Have fun. Wait for someone to spot you as what they want.
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