Missed Insulin Dose At School.

[Jenarry]

I had an awful incident happen to my 7 yr old son Matthew on Friday at school and I am still feeling upset and disappointed .
The teaching assistant who is my son's main caregiver at school(and has been since reception) completely forgot to give my son his lunch-time insulin dose and only remembered when my childminder realised at 3.30 when she was picking him up from school.
My childminder was rightly shocked and angry that this could've been forgotten about and the teaching assistant's reaction was to say to my son..'Oh Matthew,you forgot to come and find me!' like it was all his fault!!...and when I asked him about it later he said he did try to find someone and couldn't find either this TA or the other TA who occasionally does his insulin doses.
Then when my childminder suggested that they should test my son's blood sugar to see how it was the TA acted like it was too much trouble but with an 'oh if we must' attitude she went off to get my son's testing meter. His school meter gave a reading of HIGH and when my childminder got home she tested with her meter and his blood sugar was 28.3 !
I've been angry that something so important could be forgotten and even more by the reaction of the TA who I thought genuinely cared for my son as they have always had quite a nice relationship together.
The headteacher and the deputy head happened to be around when all this was happening and have been very good.
I talked to them both this morning,they had a meeting this afternoon about it and the deputy head called me to tell me what steps they had taken to prevent this happening again one of which is that this TA will no longer be looking after his insulin doses and my son will no longer have to go and find someone to do this important job -they are going to come to him.
I haven't seen this lady yet but it is just a matter of time and I don't know what I will say to her at the mo.
Matthew told me that she got told off for it today and she told him this herself .(I don't know if she was trying to make him feel bad)I asked did she apologise to you . Matthew looked a bit surprised and said no. :O(
It's almost like she doesn't realise how serious this is.
If this was me whether it be insulin or any medication I would be feeling dreadful that I had forgotten to give it and I would be apologetic especially to the child. No question I'm sorry just needed to get this off my chest.
Only question is what on earth am I going to say to this woman when I see her. :O(

[Canary42]

Tell her simply how upset you are, and then decide from her reaction whether to blast or befriend her.

[ummmm]

I understand why you're annoyed but try and remember that she didn't do it on purpose.

[Mamyalynne]

I am glad that the Head has stepped in to put measures in place, you will know what to say when next you speak to the TA I am sure by her response to you.

She likely feels dreadful.

[Jenarry]

I know Ummmm .I felt disappointed when I first heard about it.
I understand that she has a lot of other children to think about and a lot of other jobs to do so I can imagine how this happened but it was her reaction to it that was more upsetting when my childminder told me.
If it was me i would have been gutted and wanted to do anything to put it right but it seems like she wasn't or couldn't be bothered.

[ladyalex]

I would hope that the TA would be apologising to you when you next meet...or indeed that she might have taken steps to apologise to you before this.
However, if she does not, I think you can take it that she is not going to take much in the way of responsibility for this dangerous lapse.
This means that anything you say to her will probably fall on deaf ears.
If you are happy with her to continue as TA for your son and he gets on with her, then I think I would tell her how upset you are about this then try to leave things be. If you are not happy with her continuing to be your son's TA then insist that he gets someone else.
Try to hold on to the fact that the system for your son getting his insulin has now changed, it sounds for the better.
I would have been absolutely furious, especially about her saying to your son 'you forgot to find me'. I think that shocking abnegation of responsibility says all you need to know about this TA.
Thank goodness the head and deputy seem to have more idea of responsibility.
It is hard, but try to focus on the fact that a better system has now been introduced.

[Jenarry]

I know that's the worst bit Ladyalex. My son is 7. He is going to have many years of looking after his diabetes and to be made to feel responsible for a slip up like this feels like the worst approach possible .
He needs to feel confident in himself when the times comes to start doing it himself .
And why she told him today that she got told off for it is beyond me unless she was trying to make light of the whole thing.
I do feel better about all the steps the head and deputy head have started and I feel better that they acted on it straight away and they both apologised too which helped alot...another one from someone else would be better.

[Canary42]

How old is the TA? She sounds very immature, and if so should never have been given this responsibility in the first place - her reaction and subsequent events merely confirms this view.

[ladyalex]

We'll never know why she told him she was told off, but I agree with you that it was really inappropriate to tell him about it at all.
It doesn't sound as though she was apologising to him, anyway.

Good luck when you meet her. Try to keep your cool.

[smoneybags]

If I were you I would impress upon your son the importance of finding someone to help if he can't grind his regular care-giver. He is almost at an age to take responsibility for his own insulin.

[murraymints]

Give him an alarm to put round neck preset to go off at his insulin times ! ...I bought one to remind dad !

[pixie373]

That's a really serious mistake and i understand why you're upset. His high reading might have scared her, so she'll realise he isn't having insulin for fun. Saying that she got told off for it, might have been her way of telling him it was her fault. I would just reassure him he did the right thing in going to find someone (and telling his childminder?). So it sounds as though he's doing a good job himself. I hope she apologises to both of you xx

[douglas9401]

Maybe a few deep breaths and drop the "this woman" would be a good start.
I say this as someone who's made the odd mistake in life.
The teaching assistant is pretty much at the bottom of the food chain in a school. I know this and I also know that those further up like to add duties and responsibilities to the already bust TA. It may be worth finding out if this is the case. There may have been a family crisis, a bereavement, serious illness.
That's not to excuse what happened but now that the crisis has passed and Matthew's okay I'd be going the gentle road.
None of the above excuse what happened but something may go some way to explaining the lapse.

[Jenarry]

The head and deputy head have changed the system now so that if matthew goes to them that's fine but the 2 other TA's are going to come to him as a rule.
The one who made the mistake is in her 40's but doesn't have a good time in her personal life. her husband of 20 years left her around 3 or 4 yrs ago which she really struggled with and there always seems to be some drama going on with her youngest 14 yr old daughter.
I have been wary of this especially when she was having a LOT of time off in previous years but she has had a real soft spot for matthew from early on and enjoyed looking after him and his medical needs but I think it's for the best that someone else will be doing it now and it will be one less thing for her to worry about.
The main reason for the mishap on friday seems to be that she was in a different classroom for the afternoon after lunch and I think she was actually teaching the class so I don't know if she was stressed about it.
The school do seem to move the TA's around alot,i don't know if that is normal . The new people who are now responsible for it are the two main first aiders in the school and the lady who will be doing the lunchtime dose works right through the lunchtimes so she will always be around for this important insulin dose.
I saw the TA in question this morning. she had her back to me and i said hello to her...to open up the opportunity to talk to her about it and when she turned round it was obvious she had been crying. I just asked her if she was ok and left it at that. I will hopefully get a chance to talk to her and clear the air later in the week :O( :O( I feel bad for her but she made a big mistake and then handled it really badly. :O( I haven't said anything at all to the deputy head or the head about her ,I have just talked about how serious the implications are for missing insulin and the upset it caused on friday but I think from the head's diplomatic words he is saying that the main change they felt had to be made was giving the job to someone else.
I'm saying 'this woman' so as not to use her name Douglas. we are on first names terms and have been for quite a while. we have each others mobile numbers and she could easily have picked up the phone or text me at the weekend to check if everything was ok. :O(

[Old_Geezer]

We all forget things. The problem would be the school system which doesn't seem to specify some kind of alarm to remind folk. I assume the head is going to rectify that now rather than rely on folk remembering. I'm unsure why you have to speak to her at all. It may heal the situation quicker if you didn't keep it live.

[Svejk]

Douglas just beat me to it. I wouldn't have put it as politely as he did. I'd be very surprised if it was in the TA's remit to administer drugs to sick children. Its no wonder people don't volunteer to help others when a mistake can result in this 'attitude' you and most of your respondents are displaying.
I would have thought it incumbent on you, the mother of a sick child, to ensure the school had a system in place. And if you did then surely its the school at fault, not the TA. If I were you I'd apologise to her blowing this incident out of all proportion ( I had an awful incident with one of my kids) because I'm not buying this 'the head & deputy head happened to witness) business. Be careful if you do kick up a fuss with the school. They might suggest you move your son to a more suitable one.

[Jenarry]

Well it's done now old geezer. I have seen her this am but would like to clear the air with her if she wants to later in the week when the dust settles.
They have started a checklist book which will be referred to and checked that his snacktime and lunchtime doses have been done. I'm not sure who is going to look after this so i need to ask the head that next time i see him.

[sherrardk]

I can understand why you are angry but I also agree with those posters who are asking why you didn't ensure a system was in place if the TA was absent or forgot for some reason.

Feel a bit sorry for the TA actually, people have all sorts going on and she probably feels awful for forgetting to give your son his insulin - if a system had already been in place then this would not have happened (and you wouldn't be angry and upset, and she wouldn't have been in tears in the playground). Maybe you could make a point of bumping into her and clearing the air?

As for not being sure who is going to oversee the checklist I would not leave it until the next time I saw the head, I would have already seen the head or at the least I would be on the phone to the school now (it's either really important or it isn't).

[gness]

This is going to sound crazy as the mistake made was serious, but if you are on first name terms and have each others numbers and more importantly she has been so involved with Matthew you need to get back on an even keel.

At seven he has a while yet at this school I guess?

What I would do is......buy her a small gift....see the lady on her own and tell her how very upset you were....not at the her personally but at what could have been the outcome of the mistake but can we, for Matthew's sake, draw a line under it...knowing it can't happen again.

A Gift!!!...After what she did I hear some cry in horror???

Yes, I would....because it will end any worry that she has about you harbouring any resentment and that will be better for Matthew.

But then I have odd ideas sometimes and I like everyone to be happy.

Gx

[Mosaic]

Jen, I can understand how upsetting this has been for you. Some sensible advice has been given and I'd just add my own, as an 'old lag' teacher who has had many times needed to speak with school about how my own kids have been treated.
OK. This is an over-riding one and not singling you, the TA or this event out, but: it helps everyone for professionals to adopt a 'professional distance' from kids and their families. This doesn't mean being distant or unfriendly, but it does eg mean not blarting it all out. I notice you seem to be aware of lots of the personal details of the TA, and you should never have been able to know that stuff. S/he should have kept shtumm and if you knw them on a personal level outside school, so should you as far as schooling is concerned.

TA's are paid much less than teachers, and are increasingly treated as supply teachers. Wrong to do and wrong to consent to. Unison is a good prop for TA's feeling pushed into this situation.

Many TA's have not had access to a training and development route that models professional behaviour, and they are also often simply seen as 'the help' by many schools. Consequently many are not capable of acting 'professionally' not out of badness but because their employers have failed them.

If it is an agreed responsibility of the TA to medicate, this should be openly written into the work agreement and specific time allocated to it. This is fair and square the HT's responsibility, squirm and wriggle as they might, they are the ones ultimately responsible for creating (or not) the scenario that makes your child safe.

I'd suggest not encouraging your child to approach the TA and talk about this. Let the adults talk among the adults behind office doors (not at the school gate). Take your concerns straight to the head, ask for a meeting and take written notes in the meeting. Above all ask for a copy of the statement / policy that covers the medication regime for your child.

And nothing bad happened this time, so move on in the knowledge that the school should be very aware it got away with it this time but my god only just.

[anneasquith]

the lady made a mistake,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and by making that mistake Mathew will never be missed again re his insulin/testing, you have right to be upset, but we are human afterall.