how much time do your kids spend in their room?

[pixi]

My 13 year old lad hardly ever comes out of his room, he is either on the internet or ps2 or both.  I only see him at mealtimes or if I go in his room to chat to him.  My mates all agree that their kids (mainly lads) are the same, but I was just interested in asking more than an handful of people.  So how much time do your kids spend in their room and do you think its healthy for them to stay in there all day?

[pixi]

oh phooey I thought I was in parenting, never mind :)

[ICEMANSAV]

I don't have kids so it might not be my place to say, but I think you need to involve your child in more outside activity. You could start a new hobby together or encourage him to go and play footy etc. I can't see it being mentally healthy for him to be cooked up with a pS2.

[pixi]

hi iceman, it doesnt matter if you havent got kids, anyone's opinions are welcome.  he actually does go out but only a couple of times a week, him and his mates will disappear all day and again come back at mealtimes, but the rest of the time he talks to his mates on msn so they are all as bad. personally i agree that its not healthy but hes at that age where he knows best (so he thinks)

[pixi]

I ought to just add, my lad is a really happy kid, doesnt get into any sort of bother or owt, he's got loads of mates, does well at school and has a totally fantastic sense of humour, maybe kids seen the internet as a modern way of socialising or something. 

[spudqueen]

I've a 13 year old boy too, and though he does spend a fair amount of time in his room either watching tv or on the ps2 he doesn't have a computer there so has to come downstairs for that, though when he does half the time he prowls around and tries to pick a fight with his younger brother, so when he does go back up to his room again we all get a bit of peace and quiet! He does go and see his mates, though not every day. The best way we have of getting him out of his room is when a neighbouring lad calls round and they play footie or go on the neighbours trampoline.
I think it's just their age and though it's not ideal I'm sure I spent a lot of time in my room at that age listening to records. It's difficult being 13 with all the changes that are happening to you and I think that a 13 year old certainly needs to spend some time alone getting used to their own company.
Just remembered, we can sometimes get our son out of his room if there's a good film on tv ( or by renting one!) with the promise of popcorn etc, so we can have occasional family evenings watching a film together.

[boobesque]

hi hun, its perfectly normal, from the time i hit puberty (12) to when i moved out of home, i stayed in my room as much as humanly possible! My 17 year old sister is the same now. Its a personal space thing.

[GucciGal]

Hi pixi, I don't have children but I remember being his age and staying in my room for hours on end. I remember listening to music a lot, day dreaming (a lot!) and generally being quite happy in my own company. I'm sure he is fine and just getting his head round all the hormonal changes that must be happening in his life right now. Hope that helps x

[pixi]

hi spudqueen thanks for that, my lad sounds just like yours, he too will come downstairs to watch a film, we try to make friday nights takeaway/film night.  The thing is if he was on internet just messing about I would be more inclined to put my foot down, but he seems to do useful stuff, like him and a mate host a couple of quite good forums (I've visited them and they are great) he also has set up a couple of graphics sites for people to show photos/images they have made etc, he has 'friends' from all over the world who he has met on various sites and speaks to them on msn quite a bit (which I think is a good thing, he is learning loads about different cultures and suchlike from them).  maybe its just me, i know hes happy but i do worry about him.

[pixi]

boob and guccigal thanks for your replys they have put my head at rest quite a bit. I never spent much time in my room as a youngan, mainly because there was no tv, no games consol, no stereo etc, if we stayed in our room all day it was because we had been sent there for being naughty or cheeky or something

[Absinth]

Thanks for the idea, boobesque!

 

*Stays in his room till he's 17*

[Hermia]

I spent loads of time in my room as a child/teenager. It was partly about personal space. I'm the sort of person who has to have some time on their own each day or I go mad! It was also to do with my interests. My parents used to watch TV a lot or listen to dreadful music. I'm not really a TV person and I had different taste in music so I'd prefer to be in my room.

[pixi]

hmm I wondered how long it would be til the person in question showed his face (absinth) I think i talk to him more on here than in real life (joke)

[mycatis]

You should think yourself lucky Pixi from the age of 12/13, till I was chucked out (at 14, then home for a couple of months till put into foster care) I only went home every couple of days to eat and sleep. At least you know where your child is. And for the record now I'm all grown up I realise what a brat I was and have apologised to my mum, we get on really well now

[Scarlett]

Hi Pixi, I recently went on holiday with my parents and sisters and it was like being 13 again. I stayed in my room as much as possible!!!! Def. a personal space issue. He will appreciate you going in for a chat, but appreciate his need for his own space too. I couldn't think of any worse way to spend an evening than sitting with my parents in the living room while they watched tv and drank wine. I also found every single little thing they did or said very irritating, so bear this in mind too!!!

[alli mac]

My 7 yr old lives in his bedroom only coming out at meal times although the past 4 days two girls in the street have called for him and i made him go out he now thinks this is great and i now worry where he is (although he is only up the top of the street!) at least you know where he is and not getting into trouble, relax and enjoy him in the house while you can cos as soon as those girls start knocking you wont see his arse for dust , as im now seeing at 7 yrs old!

[pixi]

cat I knew there was a reason I loved ya, (you are just like my daughter, she too left home at 13 (to live with grandparents though) otherwise we would have killed each other,  shes now 19, got her own place and a gorgeous baby and we get on like a house on fire

[pixi]

hi hermia and alli mac thanks for that, I think my mind is truly at rest now, dont know if anyone was following chatterbank yesterday, but my lad came out of his room ALL DAY and completely did my head in.  There is now a big padlock on his door to prevent him escaping in future lol