Mama! You No Never Believe It!
Maria just got married, and being a traditional Catholic Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was quite understandably nervous. However, her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. I cook pasta. You go upstairs and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and said, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest!"
"Don't worry, Maria," says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. I cook the pasta. You go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Maria ran downstairs in panic to her mother, "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry, Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. I cook the pasta. You go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you."
So, up our poor Maria went again. When she got up there, the patient groom Tony took off his socks, and half his left foot was missing. When Maria saw this, she ran downstairs.
"Mama, Mama, Tony's only got one and a half feet!"
"Step aside," said the mother. "You stay here and stir the pasta. I'm going upstairs. This job is for Mama!"