News0 min ago
Am I Wrong To Be Very Irritated At This?
83 Answers
Working in Care Homes, especially in the field of Dementia I often find that families, usually sons and daughters don't visit their parents once the dementia progresses.
The reason I usually get is: that isn't my mum, that's isn't my Dad!! It really winds me up!!
I want to say: yes it bloody well is, you may not have any desire to visit them but how about the need they may have to see their daughter or son!
I know that some times they may not recognise their son or daughter but even if they don't it usually still registers that it is a familiar and close friendly person.
We have a lady only in her mid 60s, now very close to being in a vegetative state due to her dementia but we can still get a limited response from her. Her Son regularly comes to the home to bring things for his mother and pay the bills etc. but will never come into the home for fear of seeing his mother that he claims to love.
Of course I can accept it is very difficult but I really think that with help they could deal with it for the sake of their loved ones.
These people need their families now more than ever but they are frequently just shut away and never seen by their families again.
It really winds me up, am I wrong or should I be more understanding?
The reason I usually get is: that isn't my mum, that's isn't my Dad!! It really winds me up!!
I want to say: yes it bloody well is, you may not have any desire to visit them but how about the need they may have to see their daughter or son!
I know that some times they may not recognise their son or daughter but even if they don't it usually still registers that it is a familiar and close friendly person.
We have a lady only in her mid 60s, now very close to being in a vegetative state due to her dementia but we can still get a limited response from her. Her Son regularly comes to the home to bring things for his mother and pay the bills etc. but will never come into the home for fear of seeing his mother that he claims to love.
Of course I can accept it is very difficult but I really think that with help they could deal with it for the sake of their loved ones.
These people need their families now more than ever but they are frequently just shut away and never seen by their families again.
It really winds me up, am I wrong or should I be more understanding?
Answers
It must be incredibly hard for relatives to deal with, but i agree that visits are always worthwhile for someone with dementia. They might get language muddled, saying "sister" instead of "daughter" but they never completely lose face recognition. We have had many residents acting as though they don't recognise their children - until they've gone- then...
17:37 Mon 31st Mar 2014