Nursing Home Fees.

[gness]

I know there never seems to be a simple answer to this but.....

My mother was in a Care Home.....alzheimer's...and unable to care for herself. This was being funded from the sale of her house and savings until her money reduced to £14.000 which it hasn't yet done.
Last year she had to be moved to a Nursing Home as the Care Home couldn't cope....she is very aggressive and doubly incontinent.
We had another care assessment last month....these are fairly frequent... but I now have had an invitation to attend an NHS assessment to see whether her fees should be funded by them.
I was under the impression we just kept paying til her money reached the limit of what she is allowed to keep.
Does anyone know if the rules about funding change when care becomes nursing?

Thanks..G.

[gness]

Indeed....where she is now is more difficult to face than her last place. The residents are very bad......there is only one lady who has a sensible conversation with her visitors.
So much wailing and aggression and the loss of dignity....yet when I look at them...and at my mother...and think of the people they once were it's quite saddening.

[Jeza]

Without wishing to sound cruel, we don't allow our pets to suffer in this way so why do we allow it for the people we love.

[anneasquith]

it is very sad, but at least they may be unaware of their situation. its the relatives who feel the pain at this stage . is mum well looked after ?

[ducksie]

gness, i can't help you with your original question, but my heart goes out to you. Has she had alzheimers long? again not that it could help. Can she speak or communicate with the one lady that seems can hold a conversation? I can only let you know that as far as alzheimers is going, I understand what you're going through ♥

[Bathsheba]

My MIL has been in a Care Home for 2.5 years with Alzheimers. She has to pay every penny of the cost herself...(just short of £500 per week). It makes me so angry.

[gness]

So true, Jeza....don't know what the answer is really....

She is well looked after, Anne....while she wasn't the kindest of mothers by a long way I don't like to see her like this....

Hi, Ducksie....she's had Alzheimer's for about eight years now....my brother and I did the caring til three years ago when it became too much for us.
She was in a friendly little care home for two years and now a larger nursing home.
She has never spoken with or made friends with any of the other residents in either place.
The woman she was is still there somewhere....a bit above everyone else.... wouldn't lower herself to speak to those "daft" people. Stroppy when she isn't the top dog...in charge of everything and giving orders. You can still see that in her behaviour towards the staff and others.

[gness]

I know, Bathsheba.....told her to spend the dosh or give some to the grandkids but she had this thing about...."leaving it"...
I intend to leave nothing.....it'll be spent and enjoyed long before I go...with luck....☺

[ducksie]

Awe gness .... I dunno how to reply to that, she's prob in her own little word, with alzheimers, she prbably no longer has a snbbery about her, the woman, your Mam will always be in there, you just can't find her withthat dastardly Alzheimers ...tis so frustrating for the family.. wish I knew that when I met you, we could have had proper chat /been ther and all that ♥

[nungate]

My mum also has dementia she is currently still at home though brother and I are being pressured to put her into care which is something we are extremely loathe to do. We have been managing reasonably well until we felt we needed a little extra help, that's when the only solution to anything seemed to be put her in a home. The only positive that came out of this whole mess was we were put in touch with a local carers group who sent someone out to help us get the benefits to which she was entitled, it might be a idea to see if there is such a group in your area who might be able to help you get your mother's entitlements too.
Feel free to get in touch with me if you'd like any info on this group, as I can't believe they are exclusive to this area. Meantime I shall go on resisting these social workers

[gness]

Ahh...we had a laugh and a chat, Ducksie....especially with your phone!

Ducksie......she's in a strange world that I really don't understand....she doesn't seem to have changed the way some do. She makes little sense but there is still so much of the old person she was still there.
Honestly....if I could wave a wand and make her the woman she was I would....for her sake. Not for mine....she was never a mother to me....neither wanted nor liked me and I still see that in her eyes when she looks at me....the same as I still see the adoration when she looks at my brother...aka golden balls...☺

[gness]

Hi, Nun...and thank you.....I think she has too much money to be entitled to any benefits but we shall see what this assessment throws up...if anything..xx

[ducksie]

You're beckhams sister...I never would have guessed :)

Seriously, that sad to read :(

(((HUGS)))

[gness]

Did my stubble not give it away, Ducksie?.......☻

[ducksie]

Stop knocking yourself!! I couldn't see you behind my beard lol :)

[gness]

Will I bring a razor next time so?.....☺

[Ann]

I do really feel for you Gness, it must be dreadful to see her like that. I pray my Mum doesn't end up like yours, I'm sure I would be in despair.
It also seems so cruel that everything they worked for in life ends up being taken away to pay the fees.

[ducksie]

for you or I :)

recently had threading done gness, never again would I touch a razor, tweezer or wax, it so relaxing - next time you call, I'll have my niece give you a threading (if you like - just give me notice :) )

It's a little bit of pampering I think you well deserve ♥

[gness]

Thanks, Ann.....it is awful to see people lose everything that made them what they were....such a cruel illness.....x

[gness]

That would be lovely, Ducksie.....x

[ducksie]

I'll keep her on call, the most unlikeliest of men commented on my lovely brows today..she must be good :) tis all he could comment good about me i suppose lol .I gave him her number (Vain guy)