Passive/aggressive Person

[jennyjoan]

Would somebody tell what examples of that one would be of above.

So that I can make my mind about somebody. Thanks. All donations very greateful. jjConnemmary. Thanks

[ummmm]

Something like sarcasm.

[anneasquith]

harsh. frognog :(

[Maydup]

But true.

[Canary42]

There's an interesting article at this link....

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/passive-aggressive.html

.... and here is their example, and how to deal with it :-

Your housemate persistently leaves his dirty washing up in the sink for other people to clean up. There are four different ways to approach the situation:

Option 1. Ignore it, do nothing and hope he stops.

Option 2. Talk to him about it, let him know you don't like it.

Option 3. Shout at him, threaten him with eviction and generally intimidate him into doing it.

Option 4. 'Accidentally' break his favourite mug. If he cares that much about it, he should wash it up and put it away.

The option you choose will differ according to the kind of person you are.

1. The 'passive person' off-hands powers to others, steps back and allows him or herself to be directed by other, more assertive people. Option 1. is a good example of passive behaviour. If you choose this option, your housemate is unlikely to ever change his habits because he has no idea how you feel about the situation. You will simply have to learn to live with his dirty crockery.

2. The 'assertive person' maintains a good balance between understanding his or her own needs, and accommodating the needs of others. Option 2. is a good example of a fair, assertive and effective approach to the situation. If you are firm and fair, your housemate will be more likely to listen to you, respect you and make the effort to change his habits.

3. The 'aggressive person' is power hungry and ego-centric. He or she has little or no regard for other people's desires or opinions and wishes to meet goals forcedly, regardless of any hurt feelings. Option 3. is a good example of aggressive behaviour- if you adopt this approach you will be likely to get what you want, but you will also jeopardise the relationship you have with your housemate, as well as putting yourself at risk of future retribution.

[FrogNog]

I don't think so Anne. I think it's more like tough love.

[anneasquith]

I would disagree,

[FrogNog]

You're free to do that.

[lardhelmet]

I have used Option 4.He thought it was an accident. Haha

[jennyjoan]

there ya go - and I did blame other and rather let others seem order me - in a sly passive manner but getting her "dick" in.

[Zacs-Master]

I say! Steady on.

[FrogNog]

Okay. Still disagree Anne?

[jennyjoan]

I seem to be afriad of this person and I think I let her away with murder - it needs to all come out and yet I am afraid of losing this person.

[jennyjoan]

I am tired really tired of being down down- by any question - answer, anything.

[jennyjoan]

dive - your remark seems to make sense to me. Thanks and to all others.

[jennyjoan]

I can never ever feel that i can please this person.

No thnks for the meal, no thanks for the drive over, no thanks - just bloody no thanks. "was that nice" -= shrug of the head. Did you enjoyed that "shrug of the head" - I am funking tired.

[ummmm]

You might not want to lose her from your life but you might feel much better if you did.

[jennyjoan]

who knows Ummmm

[Mamyalynne]

There comes a time Conne, when you know you cannot please them - so stop trying.

As for fear of losing them,what good part in your life do they play? and could you manage without it?