Gavmacp is right. The very fact that you managed to post indicates that you are not in the very depths. Well done. I'm newish to here and don't know all your background - but I know about depression (sufferer in the past and it always lurks). I was a teacher in very, very tough schools and also raising early-teenage children and experiencing a collapsing marriage as well as my mum dying (dad needed physical support also). I thought I was coping and then the world collapsed (looking back, calmly, I was a train ready to crash.
I think that what I am trying to say is that you are doing well, please don't feel like a fraud - you are not one. Look forward, seek out any help going and accept that you are loved and that there are good things in your life. Hope this helps a tiny bit. :0) x