Religious Spring Retreat, Help Me?!?
My parents signed me up for a religious spring retreat. on the paper you're supposed to choose your roommates, but I haven't made any friends there or really even talked to anyone. We didn't put anything down, so I guess I'll end up with whoever. I have horrible anxiety, at the meetings we have 45 min of time outside, but while everyone's talking I am always on the swing alone with my earbuds in. I have an eating disorder so during dinner I don't eat, I usually just pretend to be on my phone or go hide out in the bathroom until we have to listen to the pastor, I like this part because i don't have to talk I just listen and learn. Anyway, I take full responsibility for not having any friends, but this retreat is making me so nervous! I have to go, my parents already paid. The ride there is three hours and I am so scared. I'm taking 1mg of Ativan before we leave, but that's all because you can't have meds there except stuff like tylenol. They have a waterslide that I am deathly afraid of, and canoes which i hate but are tolerable. We are allowed to have our phones. We have to wake up super early each day. I know no one who is going to be there. I don't know the schedule or anything else. I unfortunately do know that one night is pizza and ice cream night but I'm lactose intolerant and as mentioned before, have an eating disorder. How the hell am I supposed to get through this?? Please, anyone give me advice! Lastly, I'm home schooled, quiet and tend not to speak unless spoken to.