I Designed

[marval]

I designed a new type of submarine for the Navy, made entirely out of recycled bubble wrap.
Needless to say it didn't go down well.

So I was out in town the other day dressed as a pepper, when I was approached by a promotions lady giving away free bubbly chocolate "have an aero?" she asked, "no! Scotch Bonnet" I replied.

Our local flag shop has shut down because of a lack of stock
That place never had any standards.

I've just returned from taking the kids to see Toy Story 3.
We didn't manage to get in, apparently goats aren't allowed in cinemas.

I applied for a lottery grant, for me and my mates to form a Dusty Springfield tribute act.
Only one of our group was allocated some money and that was only because his dad works at Dominos Pizza.
The only boy who got any funding, was the son a Pizza Man.

I work at the top secret Headquarters for Jokes.
The Pun-tagon.

I went to a fancy dress pool party last night.
There was a large cue outside.

The Fleetwood Mac Sat Nav is rubbish - it keeps telling me to go my own way.

I haven't had a single visitor to my Museum of Television Controllers.
People aren't remotely interested.

They're going to make a child robot that can play music and videos.
iKid you not.

[tonyav]

LOL, like them marval.

[DTCwordfan]

its bleeding Tommy Cooper in house this afternoon - he knew how to murder a joke, tony.....

[tonyav]

Yeah, killed e'm stone dead, DT.

[excelsior-1]

like them