relationship question

[metagirl]

i have been married for the last yr and a half. During this time I have been off and on depressed, frustrated and lonely. When I changed my birth control some months ago, the more "crazy" elements of my personality have calmed down. However, I am still feeling the same frustration and loneliness, even more so because I feel like I can't properly communicate with my husband. we get into ridiculous and mean arguments quite a bit - the funny thing is we usually fight about how we don't communicate at all or in ways that are hurtful to the other person. so in essence, we argue about arguing.
I need to talk to him about the things that are important to me and do so in my own way, but can't. I'm scared of another argument and being completely misunderstood.

has anyone been in a similar situation? are there any tips out there short of seeing a counselor - which we will probably do?

[cymruambyth1]

I am on tablets for depression, before then I use to be horrible to be around and i use to argue with my boyfriend all the time about stupid little things and he was getting so fed up, so in the end we nearly split up and this scared me into going to see the doctors. I was really nervous but it was fine, with a counsellor i was really concerned about going to see one, they dont work for everyone but it doesnt cost to go and see your local counsellor. Hope you sort things out

[Slinkye]

It may end up that you need a mediator to discuss this issue. You could suggest that one speaks first (5 minutes) without the other interupting and then vise-versa. Negoitation skills is a blessing to have in a marriage. People apply these skills everyday (business etc) but unfortnately dont think to apply them in a relationship. The right scene, timing and intentions needs to be created way before effective communication can be applied.

[woofgang]

you could say to him what you've just said to us

[metagirl]

thank you for guys for your sensible answers. a mediator of some sort seems to be the way to go. we are more like siblings when we argue than a married couple!