Difficult Decision Re Dughter's Operation

[bednobs]

My 3 yer old hs congenital divergent squint in one eye( her eye wanders outwards). The opthalmologist told us today tht she would need n opertion to help to correct it. However, this op would be just for cosmetic reasons, and it won't improve her eyesight,
The opthalmologist was quite keen for her to have it, saying tht kids can get bullied if they look any different to the norm (it's really noticeble)
how to decide if she should have an "unecassary" op?
i favour waiting till she's old enough to decide herself, but are kids really that horrible?

[daveygh]

I would definitely recommend it. My daughter had it done before she started school with no problems. She is a red head and was ribbed throughout her school years for that, so I can only imagine how worse it would have been if she had the eye condition to be bullied about as well.

[Samuraisan]

I wouldn't hesitate to have it done. My brother had the op.some 50 years ago, it still wanders when he is very tired or drunk ! But I was so glad he had it done as I was getting fed up of defending him. And yes, kids can be so cruel, they always find an Achilles heel and never let go.

[ladyalex]

Sounds as though the AB support group says have it done.
Hard decision though. Very difficult to see your child having an aneasthetic.

[Davemano]

I believe that you have got to do what is best for your daughter and have it done. We know two like situations where there have been NO adverse after effects. Stick with the advice of the consultant.

[ummmm]

Bednobs...my daughter had the opp when she was 7, the bullying had just started at that age. It's a really quick and straight forward op. She was out in about 30 mins. She's 23 now and hasn't needed any further treatment.

[pusskin]

My much younger brother had his op when a small boy, añd I can't recall añy troubles after that. Was a great success. he is an entertainer, so couldn't look back añd think he wished he hadn't had his eye done. He is fine.

[pastafreak]

//daveygh
I would definitely recommend it. My daughter had it done before she started school with no problems. She is a red head and was ribbed throughout her school years for that, so I can only imagine how worse it would have been if she had the eye condition to be bullied about as well.//

I was a redhead,*and* had a squint. I got a double whammy in the name calling game.

[bednobs]

thnks everyone.

[sacha.86]

My sister had it done
She is very self conscious anyway and still worries about it gliding (it still does now and again when she's tiered). I think if your daughter values herself and she has a good set of friends then it shouldnt be a problem. I think you are right about making that decision with her when she's older, there's no need to make a hasty decision when you have time.

[ummmm]

I disagree. Being picked on and teased is very damaging to a child's confidence.

[pastafreak]

I disagree also...having been the target of much name calling due to being " cross-eyed"- as it was so colourfully described in my early school years. I tend to think recovery is quicker and easier also in a younger child.

[hc4361]

Less frightening for a younger child, too

[Prudie]

I also disagree, a lot - "if your daughter values herself and she has a good set of friends then it shouldnt be a problem" is a very big if indeed. Something I'm sure we'd all want for our daughters but a lot don't get. I still stand by what I said last week. I think this op would be far less traumatic at 3 yrs than 10 upwards say.

[Gavmacp]

I think it would be better done as young as possible. Friends kid had the oxygen mask forced on her with no explanation and is freaked out by anything to do with GPs or hospitals. So explain what is going to happen and maybe make it into a game.

[ummmm]

I would leave it until she understands, although she may do already. My son had a stay in hospital aged 2 and was on a drip. He developed a fear of hospitals/doctors for many years even though he didn't remember his stay.