Need Help Sorting Something Out, Please Help Me. Mental Help, Spiritual Help, Something Please.?

[Mynameisrobert]

Hello my name is Robert and i m 15 years old. For the last year and a half I haven t known whats going on with me. I have been imagining a lot of things and they are taking over my life. about a year and a half ago I started seeing shadows travel around me and figure showing up everywhere. they are everywhere I go and I don t know how to get rid of them. I always feel like somewhere is watching me all times during the day. I am starting to get really scared and writing this makes me feel more scared. I feel like because of writing this someone is going to hurt me. I feel sane but at the same time I can t tell whats real anymore and its hard to find the real path to follow. these thoughts and feelings have cause a huge impacted in my life. They have made my grades drop, my girlfriend break up with me, and I just feel like i m alone in this equation of my life. Here the scariest and biggest part of this stress I ve been going through. for about 5 months I have been seeing two of me. not just hearing two people in my head seeing a replica of myself. He seems so real and talks like a normal human would. But there is evil in him, everything I do he says is bad and he is always telling me to do bad things like drop out of school, kill myself, kill my family. It s starting to scare me. At this point I can t even tell who is the real me. as I am writing this he is standing next to me staring down at me with a look of anger. I can t tell you how scared I am for my sanity. Plz Help! I just need some advice.

[Mamyalynne]

Robert, you are already scared - the simple question is, do you want to change this situation that you know isn't right?

It will take courage but only you can ask Parents or Doctor for help,we can't.

[Eve]

It's very difficult as seeing and hearing what you do will be very isolating as it is so real to you, even if you think it might not be real, doesn't stop it being terrifying.

As you've already spoken to your parents about feeling depressed, if you really don't feel that you can talk to them about this now, could you ask them if you could go to see your General Practitioner and go in alone. If you think it might be difficult to talk once you are there, could you write things down and give it to the doctor, or print off a copy of this and show it to them?

It's a lot to tell someone from the off and that might help you take a step towards getting some help.

It's not in the interests of them to take you to an institution unless, for example, there is an imminent serious risk of harm to yourself or others. Having such thoughts can be very different from acting on them, however unpleasant they are.

Your General Practitioner may also have information for you to take away about other places that you can find help and support when you need it, such as if you really need someone to talk to outside of medical office hours. They may also be able to help you in speaking to your parents if that would make it easier for you?

A first main step would be for them to get you to see someone where you can sit down in a safe space and talk through the things that are worrying you.

You are definitely not alone in what you are thinking and feeling and I hope that by talking about it, as you have taken a big step telling us, that you will get the help and support that you need.

I do wish you well with it all, it's not an easy thing to be dealing with and you don't have to deal with it alone.

[Retrochic]

You speak to your mom and say you would like to see your family practitioner because you need some help with how you feel. I don't know about the rules in the USA but I think you could actually go on your own if you wanted to, but it would be much better to confide in your mom. we aren't that scary you know x

[Togo]

Robert I am the oldest child of 13. One of my little sisters had almost the same symptoms that you are having to endure. She had help from doctors and of course all of us. She is now a Grandmother to 5 having raised 2 sons and a daughter of her own. If you are brave enough to come onto this site and talk with strangers you are brave enough to seek parental or medical help. An easy way to start this process would be to show an adult everything that has been said on here including your original post. Good luck with all this buddy but please get the help that you deserve.

[Mynameisrobert]

@Mamyalynne I have always been a shy person and I don't know if I have the courage.

[Retrochic]

what are you frightened of robert? telling people, or what may happen? you will be given help and not put in an 'institution' that does not happen anymore.

[anaxcrosswords]

Eve’s advice about writing things down is excellent. You can take your time over it, say what you need to say, and it would be perfectly feasible to give that to a doctor instead of having to sit there and explain everything. Of course doctors are friendly and professional – it’s just that this might be easier if you’re feeling scared.

[Mynameisrobert]

How long is the wait list for a GP if I am going to brave up and go I can't wait any longer. I feel like if I ask to go to a GP and don't tell my parents why and I have to wait a long time to get in they are going to ask questions. I don't want to answer their questions. Not in the state I am in I think I will scare them.

[Retrochic]

robert -of course she will wonder why -write down your feelings like eve has suggested and give that to your mom to read -then she will know why -and she will be worried for you because you are her son and she loves you and she will want to help you .

[Retrochic]

you can't scare or embarras a doctor -believe me

[Eve]

Doctors have seen and heard it all, believe me, they are there to listen and to help.

As you've already spoken with your parents about feeling depressed, would it be ok to talk to them more about feeling down and wanting some help with that and wanting to see the doctor?

If they have agreed for you to do school online then they sound like they would be understanding. It might be that they know that you are struggling and would welcome you coming to them for some help.

I can understand you being worried about questions being asked but if you feel that you can't answer them, just explain to them gently, that it's no fault of theirs but you don't feel like you can right now and that you would really welcome their help and support in taking steps to speak to your doctor and being able to talk to someone professional.

They are likely to be worried about you, and that is not a bad thing. It is likely you will need their help and support when you are ready to talk to them. Maybe you could suggest doing some family things together.

It would be a huge burden for an adult going through something like this, let alone a young man like yourself. Getting help may be scary but what you are going through sounds much scarier. Having someone help you work out what is going on and what help there is for you might give you some more control back over the situation.

It may be a huge relief for you to be able to tell someone and feel like you are taking steps towards taking some control of it along with help and support.

If you are really struggling, I imagine it's the same as over here in that ER departments will have someone there at all times to help with anyone having a crisis.

[EDDIE51]

No one seems to have seen one problem here. This is the USA there is no free health service. If Mynameisrobert wants to see a doctor he needs money. You have to pay cash up front to see a doctor in the USA.
If his parents do not have health insurance (and over 70% do not) it is going to cost around $100 just for starters.

[EDDIE51]

Eve it is not the same. ONLY emergency life saving treatment is free.
Turn up at an emergency room with a non life threatening condition and you either pay or be thrown out!

[EDDIE51]

some information on cost here
http://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/ShowTopic-g34515-i19-k5057917-How_much_for_a_simple_doctor_visit_in_Orlando-Orlando_Florida.html
Much as I though, $100 for a 'simple' visit, but this is not a simple case.
At least $1,000 to go to an 'emergency room' even if you have medical insurance it only pays 50 to 80% of the cost.

[EDDIE51]

You may well get more help by asking your local priest or church.
At least they will not charge you anything, and they may well have a 'help group' for mental health problems. At the very least a priest will listen sympathetically to you and offer spiritual help and advice.

[murraymints]

OMG..

[jourdain2]

You have started to cope with this by telling us, that's good. I support everybody else by saying 'see your doctor'. Personally, I often talk to myself as a person with another opinion, but what you are experiencing is very different. Go to your doctor, please. Voices telling you to kill yourself or others are really bad. Listen to us :)