How to break the news gentley...

[Morrisonker]

to a friend who is no longer a single person,. but part of a couple?  You know the type, the ones whose names run together, like benandamy.  It's driving me up the wall, my best friend (ex best friend?) for 7 years has been with her man over a year and they live together.  We've fallen out big time over this before but it hasn't changed.  They go everywhere together, if you ask her to come for a night out she takes him with her, even if he's going to be the only guy there.  She won't come out tonight because he's starting a new job tomorrow morning, but she's a student and hasn't got anything to do tomorrow at all.  It's so infuriating.  The rest of the crowd (myself included) have boyfriends but we manage to leave them at home when we want, why is it so hard for her?

Can anyone think of a nice way to tell her to leave him at home?

[RogK]

Sounds like she's absolutely terrified to let him out of her sight due, probably, to her own insecurity (for whatever reason). She'll lose him in the end if she goes on like that. I bet he can't wait to have some time on his own. The occasions when he's been the only guy present must have been an embarrassment for him, even if he didn't show it. What you say to her, I simply don't know, but don't get too cheesed off with her - I suspect she'll need your friendship before long.

[ineedahobby]

Send her a copy of Woman to Woman by Beverley Craven (look up lyrics if you dont know the song)  That should tell her everything without you having to say a word. x

[Octavius]

Why don't you organise a girls night out, and get the guys to have their own night and go to different places.

[spinchimp]

Sounds like she knows what she is doing and you should mind your own business.

[CiderMonkey]

why should she have to leave him at home? why do you have a problem with her bringing him? Can you not all just go out as a group of friends? They obviously enjoy each others company a great deal and enjoy going places together.

[Morrisonker]

I would be quite happy for us all to go out as a group but every now and again I'd like to see my friend without him.  To be honest me and her boyfriend have never really got along that well and it's very awkward.  She would be the first to kick me into touch if I was doing the same thing but for her it's different for some reason.

Sadly he doesn't think the same as me, he seems to be a clingy as her.  I may not be his biggest fan but he makes her happy and it simply isn't healthy to spend all your time with your partner. I don't want them to wake up in a few months time and realise they only have each other.  Couples need time apart to stay together. His friends are just as exasperated as me and her friends.

[tarnold1]

I totally agree that it is normal and healthy to have time alone with your friends. Its so short sighted to cling to each other for dear life - at some point your friend is going to need to come to you alone to talk ABOUT her relationship, without the boyf being there!!

I've been in a 4 yr relationship and truly value having my own time with friends, as well as lots of great nights with all our mutual friends.

Just tell her how great it would be to just catch up as gals - suggest doing something intially that would be of complete disinterest to blokes - not talking ann summers parties here, but you'll thinkl of something appropriate I'm sure!

[spinchimp]

Listen - its her choice for god's sake! I really think you should mind your own business.