Isolation

[jennyjoan]

Went to CU tonight and found out one of my lovely colleagues wont' be there next cos chief has changed rota around again within 4 weeks.

Visited cousin - haven't been in her house in a a year - had to ask her to put her dark house on with a bit of light so that I could lipread her. She did with a bit of reluctance.

Do people not realise people who are deaf need light. That's is truly why I only go once a year if I do.

Sensitivity is no longer there any more and I never feel right in asking people to put their light on - etc etc. - I have a birthday coming up next month and I am loathing it - I truly wish I could disappear. Can't be doing with pressie I don't need - Christmas, birthdays - happy birthday - all a farce to me when you can't put a light on for somebody who is hundreds of years old. Come to my house and you would think it is Xmas every time. Hospitality constantly = would you like a sandwich, lemonade, water crisps. etc. - Nothing

She was bereft of a husband when she was due her second child to him - i helped her to get them reared - now no sensitivity. Feel not only her but nearly everybody has no respect or sensitivity to anything any more.

She has a friend who has done a massive extension for her and husband and I said that's brilliant but wouldn't you think they would downsize since there's only the two of - them - right away - wouldn't you think you could have done without a dishwasher since there is only one of you - I GIVE UP.


Is it worth your while helping people any more - not to me anymore and and don't start me on religion - when the girl was the immaculate conception holding the baby jesus on altar - and now living

[jennyjoan]

leave last para out - I submitted that accidentally - cos there would be too much to say - sorry for that. Is it worth your while. Forget that please.

[PankySmooch]

And?

[jennyjoan]

panky - AND NOTHING - means a lot to me - so maybe just a rant. ok

[tonyav]

You've just had a bad night,jj. Things will probably feel better in the morning.

[jennyjoan]

no not a bad night tony AV - an honest night.

[Cloverjo]

Jennyjoan, if you don't want people round on your birthday, don't invite them. If they do come round, you will of course be your usual hospitable self and offer food and drink, but it doesn't have to be a big thing.
I would have thought that your cousin would be a bit more sensitive to your needs, but some people just aren't. Don't go again if you don't need to.
I'm not sure where you're going with the immaculate conception in your last paragraph, but obviously many things are bothering you. Try to relax for now.

[Cloverjo]

Oops sorry. Too late. Ignore my last sentence too.

[jennyjoan]

cloverjo - believe you me I only go once a year if that. I can go into other friends - and they go - what light do you want on - the front - the back the hall - the wall lights. this cousin flabbergasts me re this matter. Anyway won't be back for another year.

[Jackdaw33]

What is CU?

[scorpiojo]

Conne, do you ever say anything to people when they've upset you?

Don't stop helping people, but don't let them take advantage of you.

[scorpiojo]

Credit Union, Jack.

[jennyjoan]

I always find when I question them - it leads to tension and that I could do without. So always leave it alone.

Really couldn't believe how quickly the answer she gave me re the dishwasher for one - that was really quick. Must be on her mind.

[PankySmooch]

Why bother commenting on a dishwasher?

[HansUrbancka]

Hi jennyjoan.....I often read your threads without commenting, However, whilst I am about to retire for the night, I am Not going to do so on this occasion without saying a few words.

You appear to be a very kind and compassionate person. Please remain that way. I'll never start you on religion because I lost faith many many years ago; despite having been for nine years a Unitarian Church Committee member.

It is my opinion that you do a lot of good work and I sincerely hope you continue to do so.

Good night....Hans.

[Mamyalynne]

I too like a lot of light but my reason is vision not hearing , am never afraid to ask for illumination.

People are different and we just have to accept that I guess, sleep well Jennyjoan.x

[jennyjoan]

thanks you Hans for your kind words - cos I was beginning to believe it was all in my head - no I will always to the best of my ability be kind and I know that will never leave me but by god it is hard sometime when it is not reciprocated/appreciated.

[Hypognosis]

@jennyjoan

//Do people not realise people who are deaf need light. //

I didn't. I wouldn't even know they lip-read until they told me so.

I don't mean it sarcastically but I often tell people that I'm not psychic, when they get cross at me for not making allowances for certain things they haven't told me about until just then.

I realise she's a relative but, if you only visit once a year, maybe she keeps forgetting?

[murraymints]

dearest Connie...perhaps your friend really does not appreciate the need for light to converse and a wee' do you mind' etc is not at all out of order...not everyone is as aware of the needs of others as I know you are..I wouldn't get upset.. by the way how is your brother ?

[waterboatman]

I lip read too jen, It's something that was necessary in the royal Artillery on a gun position in the 60's. For the same reason I have hearing problems now No ear defenders in those days. So I understand what you are saying. It can be frustrating if people turn away while they are talking to you, or, as you say, the light is not good enough. Don't give up being the lovely person you are, have a drink and a good swear then get on with it my lovely. :o}

[Islay]

Maybe they did not realise that you needed light, in the evening I like to sit in a comfortable gloom if I am not reading.

You should be grateful for the gifts that people give you - they have taken time to choose those gifts for you.

Also, why should they downsize? If they like their house and have worked hard to pay for it I am at a loss as to why they should give it up. As for the dishwasher what impact does that have on you?

If you are so unhappy with your family why not cut yourself off from them, then you would not have to worry about Christmas and birthdays.