help

[busted5]

hi, i dunno wats wrong with me, lately i have been getting all annoyed with my best mate and saying really nasty stuff for no reason. Also I think i fancy her but how can this be as im being nasty? I really don't like it when she hangs round with other people and shes always flirting and joking about with other people and i really don't like it. Please help am i just being a complete *****? Thanks

[jno]

perhaps you're a bit jealous. You half fancy her but maybe you're unsure of yourself or embarrassed about it (not clear what sex you are), but even if you're not certain of you're own feelings you wish she'd keep away from other people while you can catch your breath and make up your mind. And perhaps you're nasty to her because you're projecting your feelings about yourself on to her - you're confused so you think she should be a bit less confident about herself!

This is probably unfair on her - she sounds as if she's being true to herself and not leading you on (does she know you fancy her? I'm guessing not). It's your own feelings you have to sort out. Meantime, though - in case you do want to start something with her later - I'd stop being nasty to her, it's no way to start a relationship! You just need to learn to bite your lip - whatever you think or feel, keep it to yourself, just treat it as a private emotion that doesn't have to be shared.

[vileruby]

It sounds to me like your best mate is simply advancing more speedily/more confident in the current social settings your experiencing. This is entirely natural as are your feelings. You should let your friend know you feel less confident and would like tips from her to help you feel more confident or simply say nothing but remind yourself why your feeling like you do, watch her for tips on how you'd like to conduct yourself in similar situatuions and remember YOU HAVE AS MUCH TO GIVE in these situations as your friend. Just because your not as loud/popular/humourous etc doesn't mean your not as worthy a person or company.

As for the attraction thing, my gut reaction is to say it's probably simply adoration, as in you admire the way she handles herself, attracts attention in the social settings and circles you're experiencing at the moment .

[busted5]

Hi thnx btw i forgot to mention that we had a sexual experience. We did everything you could possibly do. I know i liked it and she says she did but we were just gonna kiss but it went further. Also this has happened a few times. I'm really confused i dont know what to do. I have jokely said to her i fancy her and i don't think she would feel the same way.

[irisred]

Sounds to me like your feelings for her run deeper than you'd like to admit!

Time for some self analysis - find out what your true feelings are and take it from there

[jno]

you sound comfortable with having had the experience with her; but you'd better prepare yourself for the possibility that she isn't - or that even if she is, she may still not want to repeat it. That's tough on you. Yes, I do think now that what you're feeling is jealousy. It's natural, but it does eat you up inside. You could do as vileruby suggests - but whatever you do, do try to bite your lip and not be nasty to her or about her.

[busted5]

thank you everyone