What Should I Do About My "in-Laws"

[RosiePosieJ]

Saturday was my daughters 1st birthday party & instead of being able to fully enjoy the day I was battling palpitations & trying to keep panic attacks at bay. I couldn't entertain anyone and the thought of being social made me dizzy & nauseous. I'm physically & emotionally drained from the day. I used my baby as a grounding life line and wouldn't let her out of my sight. When I had to let her go to bring my other daughter to the toilet I felt like I was sinking, about to drown. It was one of the worse days I've had in a long time. My fiancé knew what I was going through and couldn't do a thing for me. It's awful when you're going through something like that and no one understands.
On top of having to manage my anxiety, keep the kids happy & being in crowds I had the added bonus of my fiancés Mum and sister totally ignoring me and my family. I didn't have the physical or emotional energy to try and keep them happy. His mum started crying (now I mean sobbing) in the middle of it all and when my partner asked her what was wrong she wouldn't tell him. When they were leaving they didn't say thank you or goodbye they just looked through me. My sister made a point in saying goodbye to them and they did the same things to her. I don't know how to bring this up to my partner as he might get defensive and then we'll end up fighting. This isn't the first incident either. At our daughters christening his mum threw a tantrum because we let his friend hold our baby before her. His friend needed closure as she had been throw multiple miscarriages and his mum had held her lots of times already. The thought of having to go near them again sends me into a panic and my anxiety starts to spiral.

[waterboatman]

Have a word with your fiancé, explain how you are feeling and ask him to have a word with his mum.

[EDDIE51]

Panic attacks are a problem , I know, I have them myself. But attacks as bad as yours need expert help, see your GP and tell him/her how bad they are. There is help available you need to get that help.
This is too bad a case to just 'have a word' with the relatives!

[Patsy33]

Seriously, don't worry about other people, concentrate on you feeling better in yourself. Please see your GP and get some help with your anxiety. You are suffering terribly and needlessly. I really feel for you, having suffered myself, especially when children were small. I take medication now and have never looked back. Once you feel more able to cope physically and mentally, you'll be able to cope better with your mother in law and her ' childish' ways. I do hope you can get some help.xx

[RosiePosieJ]

I should add that I saw my GP and we're in the process of treating my issues (thanks Eddie51

[horselady]

Oh I do feel for you. When I was young and my kids were little, my mother-in-law and sister-in-law were dreadful to me. The sobbing bit struck a chord, mum-in-law was an expert at that if she felt left out of anything, I look back now, in my 60's and feel furious with myself that I let them spoil those lovely years with my little ones that I can never have again. Don't let yourself ever feel like that, get help and enjoy every moment of your babies. Good luck.x

[tamborine]

if they cause you distress keep away from them. They are in a better position to alter their actions if they want to see their gkids. Your doc can only offer sedatives or psycho help, which is least of your needs as a new mother.

[tamborine]

My 40y son recently told me he was often sexually abused by my (fortunately) deceased MIL. Trust few with your kids!

[EDDIE51]

Keep on with your GP's suggestions , they really do help.
Mine are nothing like as bad as yours but I can sympathise completely.